Things you never said until you had chickens.......

[Casey09]

New one for tonight : my pullets live in a box on our house. Its a large box with a plastic bin in the bottom but they are getting older and we can tell we have one roo named sleepy (when we got him every time we checked on them she/he was sleeping so thats hw he got the name)I caught him mounting a girl tonight so i keep checking onthim. "Sleepy keep you penis to yourselves. Girls keep those breasts covered stop tempting him!!"

 

[SkinNFluff]

me calling wife- hunny i just got home to find that i have a huge cock.
wife- dead silance followed by excessive laughter.
me- well i did.... he is a big bared rock rooster.
wife- where did he come from and why is he in our yard.
me- donno but i will try to find out.

i later found out that aneighbor about a quarter mile away had chickens and he was theirs. they were happy for his safe return. i am happy to report that i found the answer to the age old question of why did the chicken cross the road. to come and visit with our silkie and showgirls of course.

 

[fishnet1971]

 

[cheeka]

too funny LowClassCC! lucky roo he was too...! a month ago, my neighbors from 1/2 mile down came to ask if any new birds had come visiting... because they were missing 3 roos and 1 hen... the only thing visiting our hilltop in those couple of days... was a fox... got one neighbors duck, 2 of my flock and I assume... his 4...

 

[TommyDaDelaware]

To my hen giving me the stink Eye tonight as I was collecting eggs:
"Who do you think you are? A Teacher with a naughty student??"
Chicken: *continues giving me the stink Eye* BokBokBokBok.
Me: Really? who do you think you are? Mr. A?? (one of the teachers notorious for silencing students by staring them down at my school)
Chicken: Bokbokbokbokbok *Cocks head to the side and closes one eye*
Me: "Who am I? I'm Talking to a chicken!! I've gone completley bonkers!!"
Chicken: *Gets a look like, right. Now, walk away!! I have no egg under me..*

me: "we're two short of our 8 a day quota!! that means soup!! and not for u, for me!!"

"Gertrude (duck) get out of the chicken Coop!!"

 

[PekinBantam]

To my hen giving me the stink Eye tonight as I was collecting eggs:
"Who do you think you are? A Teacher with a naughty student??"
Chicken: *continues giving me the stink Eye* BokBokBokBok.
Me: Really? who do you think you are? Mr. A?? (one of the teachers notorious for silencing students by staring them down at my school)
Chicken: Bokbokbokbokbok *Cocks head to the side and closes one eye*
Me: "Who am I? I'm Talking to a chicken!! I've gone completley bonkers!!"
Chicken: *Gets a look like, right. Now, walk away!! I have no egg under me..*

me: "we're two short of our 8 a day quota!! that means soup!! and not for u, for me!!"

"Gertrude (duck) get out of the chicken Coop!!"

 

[BullChick]

Yesterday my husband was coming back to the coop (we were doing some up keep) and happened to time it right to hear me say, "Please get your butt out of my ear!"
I was later able to say (thanks to the same chicken) "You know you are glad. You just wanted your power tools polished." She had pooped on top of a crate holding tools.

 

[silver1313]

And that is why we dont let chickens run all over the bed anymore lol

 

[little farmer]

Buttermilk!! I am ashamed!! Our best layer, didn't lay an egg today!! Bisquick, I now promote you.

 

[gryeyes]

"Yeah we have to go home and close up the coop"- thats what we say when we leave a party or a family get together early and people say "you're leaving?!"

Uh yup. Pretty frequently, too. Gotta be GREAT company for me to be out very late at all.

I refereed earlier to my husbands friend, Big Al messing with us about when are we going to eat one. Today we're sitting inside and hear 2 shots very rapidly from somewhere in our yard! It startled all of us, even though we are accustomed to gun fire, b/c it was SO close! My husband goes for the shot gun b/c we seriously thought someone was trying to shoot us. I look outside and notice Big Al's truck. I tell husband who was here. We go running outside to see what in the Sam Hill was going on. Big Al is standing there holstering his pistol. He says," I know I probably scared the S$#T out of yall,and I'm soorry for that, but there was a varmit after your chickens! It's the same varmit y'all have been trying to exterminate, I saw it after your hens. I saw it in the {opened } coop and went after it. I missed it the first shot,and got it with the 2nd." He says this all matter of factly,but his hand was shaking. Shooting anything is not taken lightly here,so actually having to pursue the varmit kinda shook him up. We learned a valuable lesson about chicken ownership today. We have best enough friends who will shoot varmits who are getting our hens! You don't need any better kinds!

I heartily agree with you! My next door neighbor has taken pot-shots with his .22 at some loose dogs which have started to check out my property from outside the fence. My chickens range freely in the yard....

Before we got chickens, and even after we got our first batch of chickens, I could not understand why ANYONE would want to have a chicken as a PET. It wasn't until we got our new batch of chicks this spring and we ended up with Chicky Gaga the Polish Crested, Chipmunk the Easter Egger, and the rest that the pet chicken bug bit me. I realized I'd gone over to the "Dark Side" when I found myself pricing chicken diapers and saying things like, "You know, that cat tree makes an excellent roost..."

Just so we're clear, the chickens are still outdoor animals, but I do finally understand the appeal of indoor "pet" chickens.

I tend to let this or that particular chicken "sneak" into the house into the utility room where the dogs' dishes are set up. "Better watch out for Dooley - he doesn't like you eating his food!" (Dooley is a miniature dachshund who KNOWS chickens aren't allowed in the house. Especially not when they steal his kibble!)

my "friends" think i am insane to talk to my chickens like they are sentient creatures but they are! i talk, they talk back. just as simple as that

Yah, in addition to talking with my flock members - lord knows what they are saying but we DO hold "conversations." I also narrate for my flock members; how can one not? You can TELL what they're thinking: "Gimme gimme gimme!" and "HEY! Stop pulling on my tail-feathers!" and such like...

On another note: I woke up this morning to my chickens "screaming". I never knew chickens could do that. So I jumped up, dressed really fast, went running out the back door and found................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Henny Penny had laid an egg.....

Darn chickens scared me to death. I thought a hawk or something had somehow gotten into their pen! I told them to hush, it was just an egg!

Yes, the Egg Song is exactly the same as the Danger Call, just not quite as urgently. The Egg Song is more like bragging... "I laid the best egg EVER, Just laid the most perfect egg of any hen's, better than anybody else's egg." Ooops, there I go narrating for chickens again.

This is what everyone calls the egg song.

Yup. I can tell specific hens apart when they sing the Egg Song; Brenda is the loudest and sings it the longest of all the hens. I've been known to say - in the general direction of the coop - "Okay, Brenda, we GOT it - you laid an egg. Shut up about it already!"

I think its funny when I let some one look at my camera and they tell me I'm crazy because I have 50 pics of chickens!

I am quoting the above pretty "late" but there are over 1300 photos in my phone's camera, which I send to myself so I can post them on BYC or just share them with friends.


Whenever I see a chicken heading quickly somewhere, I announce "Chicken on a mission!" It's such a hoot to see 'em (especially the big, fluffy butt ladies) hurry somewhere. Must not miss a single bug somebody else (a chicken) has captured. .

Spiders used to creep me out, now I catch them for the chooks.

Not too many days ago, the contractor who does a lot of work on my house and property (general, all-around handy-man kind of contractor) was getting ready to paint window trim. Suddenly, he says to me, "Quick! Get me a chicken!"

Huh? What? Where? (Thinking one got into his work van again, or was checking out his paint bucket or something... But "get ME a chicken," whaat?.) Turns out he found a large spider in its web by the A/C in one window. I brought him a chicken and handed it up to him on his ladder. He accepts the chicken, calms it, and then holds it up to the spider web. SNAP! That chicken got that spider in a flash. He hands the chicken back to me because he didn't want to drop it too far.

He's around here several times a week (lots of projects on this Fixer-Upper I bought) and cracked me up when he heard The Egg Song. HE says what they're saying is "An egg fell out of my butt! An egg fell out of my butt!" And he says it in the same cadence as "Bok bok bok bok bok buh-GAWK!"