to all premenopausal women!!! and their better halves

[Carols Clucks]

I am not married....so no hubby with stupid "helpful" comments.

But can I ask the rest of you ladies, I am almost 49, mom had me at at 39 and I can remember being 10-11 and having to run to the store for "products" for her. So I figure I would hit this menopausal point a bit after a lot of my friends. I used to get a few what I now realize were hot flashes and my cycle was all over the place, usually every 2-3 weeks!!! Yikes. So I was tired and crabby all the time.

Now..... It just stopped one cycle and waited 6 months. And shhhh, <whispering and knocking on wood> no more hot flashes, no more crabby.... Did I go through it and not realize it?

 

[Dunkopf]

That's what men should do. The problem is that most men aren't really wired that way.

Fortunately my DW is really sweet all the time and very sexy, so I don't have to act out of character. At one time I thought she was having problems from PMS. Then I discovered it had really been my MIL causing the problems. When she moved out my wife moved back in, figuratively speaking. I had big smiled the day my wife told me MIL was moving. Of course I was able to express feelings of deep sorrow.

 

[rebel-rousing-at-night]

My husband "You've gotten so big!"

He's my ex now and here's what he says "Laya you've lost too much weight.You're too skinny."

To any lurkers for info. I think it must be different for all women.

I tried to do all natural for about 2 yrs. My doctor had tried to put me on Premarin and I told him no way because those mares suffered too much. I began to suffer too much and did go on something just not Premarin. It helped just a little.

The mood swings have been tough. The worst for me has been the sweats and freezing day after day for weeks. It took everything out of me. It was all I could do to go to work. Lots of days I couldn't go to work. I'm my own boss so I wasn't fired.

I NEVER thought I would say this but I would have given anything to have my periods back. A few years ago I quit taking the hormone meds because of the possible side effects.

I had finally leveled off and was doing quite well when things at work changed tremendously. It all started back with a vengeance. it's not as bad now but stress seems to play a big role.

Beer heck...I need a bottle of Jack Daniels in the coop.

 

[True Grit]

Quote:
You might have. I think medically they say 12 months with no periods is menopause. I stopped for 3 or 4 months at 46 and then started up again for about a year. I'm 54 now and still get hot flashes that vary in intensity but they aren't usually too bad. Before I realized they were hot flashes I just had these moments where I felt unwell, kind of anxious and nauseous, then when the heat started I realized what they were. I started back lifting weights when I was about 45 so that when I hit menopause I be in shape and I still do but its really difficult to build muscle. I'm maintaining my strength pretty well but while I was doing leg presses I developed bursitis in my hips which is chronic now so I can't do legs anymore. Affects how far I walk, like no way I could do a 6 mile walk and not pay for it later. All in all I've been pretty lucky with symptoms but menopause does affect so many aspects of your physical self you don't even think about, muscle, joints,skin tone, appetite and metabolism, hair. Even if you don't have debilitating symptoms, it accelerates the aging process, to my mind. The only medication I have is estring, a ring that is inserted, so it is local estrogen, supposedly not systemic. I feel for anyone who has terrible symptoms.

 

[WisconsinChickenWhisperer]

My hormones have been messed up pretty much since I hit puberty. I was having hot flashes at 15 years old, and have had them off and on ever since. Had to go on BC in order to GET pregnant the first time. Female problems run in my family, and I am the only one out of 6 girls in my family that hasn't had to have a hysterectomy. Not sure if that's a good thing or not. Anyhoo........I have been premeno for 4 years now, I am 46. I , too, have problems with my period coming either every 2 weeks, or every 6-10 weeks. My moods are ok most of the time, but, when they swing, they REALLY swing! Mostly I am just tired, all the time. I get up in the morning, go like hell for 3 or 4 hours, then crash-I can drag my butt through the rest of my work day, take a nap when I get home, get up and get my chores done. No husband or kids or SO, so it's all on me to keep up around here, which is good I guess, at least I don't have anyone making stupid comments or complaining that I don't have the energy to scrub the toilet today. I just can't wait for this all to be over so I can get my energy back and go back to being able to do things like I used to. I feel like I'm 80 years old sometimes.

 

[debilorrah]

We are super stressed out right now because DH is unemployed and I broke down crying and he asked me "Is it time for that change thing now?" NO!!!

 

[welsummerchicks]

Re menopause is a natural state.

When symptoms are mild and liveable, it is a 'natural state'.

But only somewhat is menopause a 'natural state'. For many centuries, women very often did not live long enough to experience menopause, so menopause wasn't ever really put under the same sort of natural selection as other traits and growth patterns were.

If people usually die 15 years before menopause even starts, menopause doesn't evolve under any sort of natural selection pressures.

But basically, when symptoms disrupt work, family and socializing and a person feels sick 24/7 with head aches, shooting joint pains, exhaustion and gets sick with pneumonia because they are sweating so heavily(as I have done), that is not a 'natural state'.

The person is not having a 'normal menopause' when it is ruining their life.

When it is very severe and disruptive, I think there are 3-5 hormones that are affected, and instead of tailing off gradually in the normal way, they are changing in a very, very abnormal way.

In the same way, it is 'natural' for the skeleton to age, as it is for spinal disks to age and become more brittle, but when a 70 year old man has searing pain in his legs so that he can't even move around enough to keep his heart and lungs healthy, the arthritis is treated so that he can not destroy his health in other ways.

Similarly, 'pregnancy' is 'natural', but when a woman has eclampsia, or toxemia, it is treated.

Because it makes sense to do so.

Everyon decides for themselves at what point 'natural' becomes 'abnormal'. But if a person's thinking is so rigidly against treatment that they're risking their health or their life or their family in very fundamental ways, that's a problem.

By the way, when I say 'treatment' of Menopause, that doesn't mean 'hormones'. There are other classes of medication entirely that have proved effective for relieving menopause.

Sometimes changes in diet, weight loss, changes in exercise routines, yoga, for a given person something non medical may actually work fine for them.

or not. But even medical treatment does not necessarily mean hormones.

 

[saddina]

I think alot on this list shouldn't be sait to any woman....

 

[farmerlor]

Quote:
I am in total agreement Wellsummer which is why I said I LOVE my valium on some days BUT when I was first diagnosed with peri or pre menopause at the age of 35 my doctor immediately slapped scrips for an anti-depressant, premarin, and a sleeping pill. Said I'd need all of them to get through the next few years. What? In the first place I would never, ever, ever take Premarin. Secondly, alternative, more natural treatments weren't even discussed and I wasn't even having any trouble with insomnia why give me a scrip for it? I think too many doctors DO think of menopause as a disease to be treated with whatever pharmaceutical company is giving them the best samples that week and they might try to WAIT and see if the problems really do get severe enough to warrant meds.

 

[chkinut]

yeah, last year at my annual female appt, i talked to my Dr about the problems with "the change" i was having. he wrote me out a prescription for birth control pills but i researched it, AND my mom (who use to be a nurse and who also has a Dr. for a neighbor) told me NOT to go on them. that anyone over the age of 35 should NOT take them. and they can even be dangerous for young women if taken too long. so i decided not to take them. like i said previously, the st. johns, ginko and omega3s have REALLY helped. but just lastnight i came across this great site for premenopausal women and people there were saying how great SOY helps. and there's these shakes by a company called Revival and they say the really help a lot.....but a one month supply is 75 bucks....with one shake a day. i'm not saying i won't buy it, but not now, i want to try just drinking a couple cups of soy milk every day 1st and see if that helps.
and my best friend says stress just makes these symptoms even WORSE. i can believe that cuz my son just graduated high school last friday and he's been so cold and hateful to me. he moved out of the house about 6 weeks ago.....telling me what a horrible mother i am. and when i ask "what did i do matt? why do you think i'm so terrible?" he couldn't really answer, he never really can when asked...... when we took pictures after the graduation....it was me, matt (my son), and my X husband in the picture. matt was in the middle and his arm was around me, but instead of putting his hand on my shoulder (like most people do when they put their arms around each other for pictures etc) he had his hand in a fist and wouldn't even touch me with it. that spoke VOLUMES to me and made me go to the bathroom and cry. then, we couldn't even see the actual graduation (which was held in the gym) because we had to have TICKETS and i had NO idea! he doesn't even speak to me anymore. and my X came all the way from CO with his girlfriend and her son and they didn't have tickets either. we all had to watch it in the auditorium on a movie screen. so i cried in the auditorium about that too! the least he could've done was put the tickets in the mail box with a note on it. so dealing with your children being hateful is a terrible thing to go through no matter what your age, but when you're going through "the change" it just makes all your symptoms seems 10X worse. and as mothers (and fathers) we have all these wonderful, sweet memories of when they were young and loving and kind and wanted to please you and be with you,.......and then they turn into somebody that you feel you never knew....somebody totally different and it breaks your heart.