When I was a kid......

[Athaid]

Boy, you got me on this one. I'm tempted to think you're joking, but if you're not.....Hmmmmm.

It's okay I always pack a spare.

 

[BBQJOE]

It's okay I always pack a spare.

Well that's a good thing. Losing an eye to hot popcorn could be quite painful, and we'd have to change your handle to "Popeye".

 

[Athaid]

Well that's a good thing. Losing an eye to hot popcorn could be quite painful, and we'd have to change your handle to "Popeye".

Okay you got me

 

[BBQJOE]

But anyways, my Mom was always a barrel of laughs. If she wasn't that, then she was scaring the bejesus out of us.
I'll never forget my 8th birthday. She invited a bunch of my friends over and we played lots of games. We played the game where you try to drop clothes pins in the milk bottle, then we played pin the tail on my little brother. Boy could he scream, but we all laughed and laughed.
No one in the whole group had the guts to try when she wanted us to play bob for apples in the deep fryer.

But the thing I'll never forget was the pinata. She found one that looked just like my pet Beagle, Scramble.
Everybody took a whack or two at that pinata while wearing that dumb blind fold, but nobody could bust it. Turn after turn, it just hung there swinging. I finally got mad, and grabbed the bat from the kid wearing the blindfold.
I started thrashing the daylights out of that paper mache dog, while all the while my Mom was screaming at me yelling that that isn't how the game's played. She screamed if I didn't stop, it would be my very last birthday party!

I gave her an evil sneer and a wicked eye. I ran to the back of the garage, then came charging at that stupid pinata. I gave a scream at the top of my lungs, lunged into the air, wound up, and the bat came violently down, pummeling that dumb smiling beagle. It almost broke in half.

The horror of what came next startled everyone, my Mom laughed hysterically as well as maniacally. My little brother cried, little Jimmy wet his pants, and my buddy Rolf, who could handle anything, barfed chocolate cake and Neapolitan ice cream halfway across the room. I just stood there, aghast, wanting to cover my eyes as I saw what came out of the pinata.
My stomach got a little woozy, and my legs went weak, but I just stood there staring, while my Mom continued to laugh like a drunken idiot, much like many parents did at a kids birthday parties.

I began to wonder why. Why would she do this? What had I done to deserve such a horrendous ending to my birthday party, and who was going to clean up all the pee and puke?

My therapist still says this may one day go away. But it's now been 47 years, and I fear the memory is forever burned in my brain, and that it will haunt my dreams forever.






For you see, she filled the pinata with watered down ketchup.







Edit:
Come to think of it, I never did have another birthday party.

 

[BBQJOE]

Double post.

 

[Athaid]

.. I'll show myself out.

 

[BBQJOE]

When I was a kid, this was one of my biggest fears.





But it always seemed more like this...

 

[Peaches Lee]

When I was a kid, I used to eat hotdogs...........raw!

 

[BBQJOE]

When I was a kid, I used to eat hotdogs...........raw!

That's nothing, they're already cooked.

When I was a kid, my Mom used tabasco sauce instead of soap when we used "bad" words.

I used to hide in my closet with a large bottle, and taught myself how to drink the stuff. She'd punish me with the sauce, and I'd ask for more.