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Psst, Ralphie? Woodpeckers don't have a "middle toe." (See? Two forward, two back) But somehow, a clenched talon doesn't quite convey the same message, does it?)

If you see any jackalopes, you have every right to take him to task about lying down on the job (well, come to think if it, he's a cat, they do that anyway) Maybe Ralphie could employ one to defend his home? On second thought, that might not be a good idea - zombieism seems to be contagious...

Suddenly, I realize why NFC has recently employed Bam Bam, the Battle Cat - everyone "in the know" is familiar with their efficiency at keeping homes and businesses jackalope-free.

. . . . Says the lady who is going to get gored by a jackalope any day now . . . .

I do it practically every morning, which is why the elixir of life (coffee) is so important to me.

Oh, yeah - I been done got over wonderin'.

It may be a bit late for that.

Use a claymore - more messy, but less stigma

Last time I checked, the only gulfs in New Jersey are gas stations.

I'm sure he'll insist the one that stands is a driver.

Golf? Sour?? Are we even on the same website???

Well, DUH!!

Like Paul Revere -"the chickadees are coming! The chickadees are coming!" How are you on a horse, Ralphie?

Well, if Ralphie didn't speak out, how would any of the rest of us know? Someone had to spread the word!

If they have any experience with zombie chickadees, they'll understand.

Zombie hawks do not bear thinking about . . . .

That's what he's worried about.