Psst, Ralphie? Woodpeckers don't have a "middle toe."
(See? Two forward, two back) But somehow, a clenched talon doesn't quite convey the same message, does it?)
If you see any jackalopes, you have every right to take him to task about lying down on the job (well, come to think if it, he's a cat, they do that anyway)
Maybe Ralphie could employ one to defend his home?
On second thought, that might not be a good idea - zombieism seems to be contagious...
Suddenly, I realize why NFC has recently employed Bam Bam, the Battle Cat - everyone "in the know" is familiar with their efficiency at keeping homes and businesses jackalope-free.