Chuck Norris Jokes for Chicken Lovers

Is Chuck Norris the most awesome person ever?

  • Yes

    Votes: 9 34.6%

  • No

    Votes: 10 38.5%

  • Undecided

    Votes: 7 26.9%
  • Total voters
    26
  • Poll closed .
Date sort Score sort
  1. Chuck Norris doesnt water his grass, he tell it to water itself
  2. If there was a fight between Honey Bagger and Chuck Norris, The world would blow
  3. Chuck Norris had a brother, but he couldnt take more then one week of round house kicks
  4. Chuck Norris didnt train, he was born fighting
  5. Chuck Norris came out of his mothers womb a month early, he was too awesome to be kept in a jail like that
  6. Chuck Norris made the world, but handed it off to God
  7. Chuck Norris made the Grand Canyan, from just one stomp of the foot

 
trainfullachickens14 said:
I’ve got a bunch! Lemme know what you think.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep… he waits.
  • Chuck Norris has a Swiss Army Knife… but his has an arc welder, a lathe, a drillpress, and a plasma cutter.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting, because hunting implies the possibility of failure. He simply goes catching.
  • Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID… it is [email protected]
  • Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with the sun. It lasted about two minutes… before the sun went blind. The next day, Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa. This one lasted about three minutes… before Medusa turned to stone.
  • The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
  • When the President presses The Big Red Button, Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings.
  • Chuck Norris can speak Russian…… in Chinese.
  • Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The looser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
  • Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After three days of pain and agony… the rattlesnake died.
  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as “Giraffes.”
  • Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the Box Jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
  • Chuck Norris can stop on a dime and get a nickel back.
  • Chuck Norris is the only person in recorded history to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  • If you spell “Chuck Norris” in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  • Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands; and when he was born, the only one in the room who cried was the doctor. Don’t. Spank. Chuck. Norris.
  • Chuck Norris was the only Red-Shirt ever to survive Star Trek.
  • When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon, Chuck Norris was already there grilling burgers.
  • Chuck Norris can count to infinity… backwards.
  • Chuck Norris plays hacky-sack with bowling balls.
  • The world will not end on 12/21/2012 the world will end when Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Click to expand...
LOL
 

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