Clean Blonde Jokes!!!

[Cat09]

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!


March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"


April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!


May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!


June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.


July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!


August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.


September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???


October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.


November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!


December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

Which one is your favorite on this? Mine is October. I have actually tried that before, it seems impossible!

 

[kyla]

laughing my butt off now i want turkey and m&m's

 

[oldrooster]

Why did the Blonde think her neighbor's chickens where cold? They told her they had a capon (cape on)....

 

[Blooie]

So a blonde is attending a family reunion and realizes that she forgot the salad dressing she was asked to bring. She and her favorite aunt jump in the car and head for the store to get the dressing that the blonde had wanted to bring.
First store, they peruse the aisle and the blonde shakes her head. "Nope, they don't have it here." Back in the car.
Second store, again they look everywhere and the blonde says, "I can't believe I can't find that dressing!" Back in the car. This time the aunt stays put in the car and lets her niece do all the running around in the stores.
Third store. Fourth store. Fifth store.
Finally the aunt turns to her blonde niece and asks, "Okay, just what in the heck is this precise dressing you just HAVE to find?"
And the blonde flips her hair to the side and replies, "Oh, Auntie, it's soo good! Hubby and I had it went we went out dinner last week. It's called "house dressing."

What makes this bad joke worse is that it really happened. I love my niece dearly but you know those sunshades made to put in car windshields in the summer? Ever notice on the bottom that they say, "Remove sunshade before driving?" I think they started printing that on them when Shanna started driving.

 

[oldrooster]

Quote:
I knew a girl in high school wrecked about 18 cars in 2 and a half years. And her dad was stupid enough to keep buying them for her........

 

[SweetCitrine]

I know blonde means stupid but I'm smart and I have blonde hair I'm smart

 

[kyla]

Me too!!! I love my blonde hair...... <3

 

[SweetCitrine]

Me too!!! I love my blonde hair...... <3

Oh cool.............Congrats on the engagement!

 

[kyla]

Oh thank you this month we will be engaged for 4 months on the 17th

 

[sabri]

Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?" This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours." The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing." "OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing." "There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!" Another joke: Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

haha