Cockatiel Issues

[Barcelona0910]

I have a problem with my boyfriend’s cockatiel. My boyfriend got himself a cockatiel during the pandemic and they have both created a strong bond. I met my boyfriend a year ago and we get a long so well. I got to meet his cute cockatiel, but from the beginning he didn’t like me. I have slowly tried to get on his good side by feeding him and giving him his favorite treats. He is not really friendly, and the only one the bird is friendly and wants to be with is my boyfriend. I basically gave up and have accepted the the bird will never like me, which is fine with me. I am trying to educate myself about birds (especially cockatiels) because I’m a dog person and I have never own a bird. However; I feel like their relationship it’s a it weird. It was cute in the beginning, but now It’s kind of getting in the way. My boyfriend is super sweet with his bird, which is very lovely. He keeps him out all day and spends his day cuddling the bird while he’s working or while watching tv. Super adorable! My problem is that when I’m with him he barely pays attention to me or talks to me to be cuddling with the bird. To be honest, I’m very low maintenance and do not need much to be happy. My problem is that i don’t see him as often because we both live in different cities, and when I go see him, I want us to have time for ourselves. But he spends more time cuddling or talking to his bird than what he spends with me. I understand that cockatiels need attention, and I don’t mind it. What I mind is he doesn’t spend time with me and when we can, he focuses his time on something else. The bird doesn’t even let me get near him and he gets aggressive with me. We have talked about one day moving in together, but all of this make me question if I really want to do it. I love my boyfriend, and I will never ask him to get rid of something he loves so much just as I would never get rid of my dog for ANYONE! I don’t know what to do. I do love my boyfriend and I understand how much his bird means to him. My bf tells me he hopes one day we get to get along with the bird, but I don’t think that will ever happen. Any tips on how to address this situation?!

 

[Pyxis]

I used to have a sun conure that, for whatever reason, just absolutely hated one of my exes. And I mean to the point that at one time, Larrikin (the conure) actually pretended that he was going to be friendly so that my boyfriend would pick him up. He then proceeded to climb onto my boyfriend's shoulder, acting friendly all the while - and then latched onto his neck.

So yeah. I was working on it, but I was willing to put my conure into his cage when my ex came over so that we could hang out. Just like if you had an aggressive dog, you'd work on the behavior, but you'd also put that dog away when people came over so they didn't have to deal with it. If your boyfriend isn't willing to do that, that's a whole other problem.

As for helping overcome the aggression, there are some things you can do. Your boyfriend is going to have to participate, it's not something you alone can 'fix'.

You can read this article that Bird Tricks wrote about this problem:

https://birdtricksstore.com/blogs/birdtricks-blog/the-one-person-bird

Maybe that's something you can send to your boyfriend and have him read.

Here's another resource on how to deal with this situation:

http://theparrotforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=1528

 

[Zoohtasim]

I have a problem with my boyfriend’s cockatiel. My boyfriend got himself a cockatiel during the pandemic and they have both created a strong bond. I met my boyfriend a year ago and we get a long so well. I got to meet his cute cockatiel, but from the beginning he didn’t like me. I have slowly tried to get on his good side by feeding him and giving him his favorite treats. He is not really friendly, and the only one the bird is friendly and wants to be with is my boyfriend. I basically gave up and have accepted the the bird will never like me, which is fine with me. I am trying to educate myself about birds (especially cockatiels) because I’m a dog person and I have never own a bird. However; I feel like their relationship it’s a it weird. It was cute in the beginning, but now It’s kind of getting in the way. My boyfriend is super sweet with his bird, which is very lovely. He keeps him out all day and spends his day cuddling the bird while he’s working or while watching tv. Super adorable! My problem is that when I’m with him he barely pays attention to me or talks to me to be cuddling with the bird. To be honest, I’m very low maintenance and do not need much to be happy. My problem is that i don’t see him as often because we both live in different cities, and when I go see him, I want us to have time for ourselves. But he spends more time cuddling or talking to his bird than what he spends with me. I understand that cockatiels need attention, and I don’t mind it. What I mind is he doesn’t spend time with me and when we can, he focuses his time on something else. The bird doesn’t even let me get near him and he gets aggressive with me. We have talked about one day moving in together, but all of this make me question if I really want to do it. I love my boyfriend, and I will never ask him to get rid of something he loves so much just as I would never get rid of my dog for ANYONE! I don’t know what to do. I do love my boyfriend and I understand how much his bird means to him. My bf tells me he hopes one day we get to get along with the bird, but I don’t think that will ever happen. Any tips on how to address this situation?!

Tell your bf about this situation. Tell him that he's unknowingly ignoring you. Tell him to help you get close to the bird. You alone cant do it as the prev reply said. And confront your bf about this one. Nothing should be kept inside your mind in a relationship. Be clear to him. Then together make the bird like you. Good luck

 

[Barcelona0910]

Tell your bf about this situation. Tell him that he's unknowingly ignoring you. Tell him to help you get close to the bird. You alone cant do it as the prev reply said. And confront your bf about this one. Nothing should be kept inside your mind in a relationship. Be clear to him. Then together make the bird like you. Good luck

Thank you so much for your kind response. I will definitely talk to him and see what happens.

 

[Barcelona0910]

I used to have a sun conure that, for whatever reason, just absolutely hated one of my exes. And I mean to the point that at one time, Larrikin (the conure) actually pretended that he was going to be friendly so that my boyfriend would pick him up. He then proceeded to climb onto my boyfriend's shoulder, acting friendly all the while - and then latched onto his neck.

So yeah. I was working on it, but I was willing to put my conure into his cage when my ex came over so that we could hang out. Just like if you had an aggressive dog, you'd work on the behavior, but you'd also put that dog away when people came over so they didn't have to deal with it. If your boyfriend isn't willing to do that, that's a whole other problem.

As for helping overcome the aggression, there are some things you can do. Your boyfriend is going to have to participate, it's not something you alone can 'fix'.

You can read this article that Bird Tricks wrote about this problem:

https://birdtricksstore.com/blogs/birdtricks-blog/the-one-person-bird

Maybe that's something you can send to your boyfriend and have him read.

Here's another resource on how to deal with this situation:

http://theparrotforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=1528

Thank you so much for your response and for the information you provided. I really do want to be more educated about cockatiels and you are right. If my bf is not willing to do something about it then we have a bigger problem.

 

[rayrose]

You need to move on to another boyfriend.

 

[Zoohtasim]

You need to move on to another boyfriend.

Not so fast, talking things out with him is better

 

[Zoohtasim]

You need to move on to another boyfriend.

A romantic partner isnt a game which you throw away even if the slightest bit of problem shows up

 

[Kiki]

You need to move on to another boyfriend.