Farm tractor accident

[Spookwriter]

"Man down."

I sit here tonight, and my heart is torn wide open.

I've read the kind words here my friends have posted,
and I thank you for that. It means a lot to me. It really does.
But as I, in my time, have posted to others, there are no
words tonight that can heal my heart or stop my tears.

And I know you mean well. But if it's all right with everyone,
I'm just going to set here and maybe share a few thoughts
on my mind. Pretty sure sleep is out of the question tonight.

I've thought a lot about my uncle today. I thought about my
family, other uncles, aunts, cousins. What a group we are.
Individually we're each one just a person. But together, together
we're a family.

And this weekend as we gather by the grave, we gather as a
family. For more time death has taken from us a much beloved
man. He was many things...a brother, a husband, a father, grand
father and an uncle. That's what he was in the family.

But for me, he was something like all that rolled into one.
He was the uncle I loved like a older brother...he lived with mom
and dad when I was born, until he grew up and married. That's
where I got my name from...we were Big Darrell and Little Darrell.
All my life, and I'm still Little Darrell. That's my name...Little Darrell.
And just as I loved him as a brother, in many ways that's how he
treated me...like a younger brother. And in a way, he became as
my father this year...the one I went to when I needed advice or
just to talk to.

He was the rock in my life.

He was the rock in a lot of the family's life.

His passing is going to leave a hole that can never be filled. He use
to think it was funny...when I was young, and some girl would get
his number from the phone book and call him, looking for me. He
taught me to shoot pool and play cards.

And tonight, I'm hurting deep.

Uncle Darrell...just a farmer. He wasn't famous. He wasn't rich.

And all day long, I've asked myself how do you measure a man's
life?

You can measure the legenth of a man's life ...a day to be born, a
day to die and if he's lucky, he lived somewhere in the dash between.

You can even measure his wealth ... if money is all you're counting.

But that's only time and money.

You can't measure the width, and depth of a mans life. The love he gave,
and received. The lives he touched.

And above all, the lives he changed.

And if you could add that all together...my uncle left this world a rich man.


Spook

 

[sumi]

Spook, I wish we could do more than just send cyber

. I felt sad, I really did, when I heard about your uncle's passing and I didn't even know him. I too send a silent prayer up that he'd not be taken from you so soon. But God had other plans. Strength to you and your family and everyone who's lives he touched... May God be with you all during this difficult time and give you peace and comfort. We'll be thinking of you. And sending cyber hugs.

 

[rrrmamma]

Spook, I just read of your uncle's passing. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. You will always carry the legacy he passed on to you. In your kindness and love for others, in the decisions you make. He will always be part of you. You have always helped me when I lost my mom, when I found out my only sibling was losing his battle with cancer. That is part of his gift to you. The ability to care and to teach. You are in my heart and mind tonight. Tears are cleansing. They help us begin to heal. It will be a long road for you. I am crying with you.
Deb

 

[Spookwriter]

Well, it's come to this.

Now family is all gathered. Drove in, flown in.
Gathered...much of my family does live close by.
Yet, some have escaped to other states.

It's time. A long and sad weekend in Spookland.

As I prepare to escort my mother this afternoon,
I wish with all my heart that this had not happened.

In the span of one short quick year, we've gathered
by the grave four times. An aunt, a cousin, my father,
and now Uncle Darrell.

Dad...Darrell....I'm running out of rocks.

And in saying that...this thing with Uncle Darrell is in its
own way, as hard as losing my Dad all over again.

My heart has that kind of pain.


Spook...who can't be Little Darrell anymore.

 

[3goodeggs]

I hate that I have no decent enough words. I hate that all I can send you is a little emoticon, but I would give you a hug in person if I were there.
The more we love the more it hurts. It is the price we pay for the love we gather.

So sorry for your pain.

 

[theoldchick]

So very sorry.

 

[Glenmar]

So very sorry.

 

[Lunachick]

 

[herfrds]

Sppok you have my deepest sympathy.

 

[newfoundland]

Dear Spookwriter, I am so sorry for your loss. You write, as always, so eloquently and lovingly of your uncle that we, who were not fortunate enough to know him, even so can recognise him for the exceptional person he was. All the times you shared, all the help he gave you, even just who he was have helped to mould and shape your life. I know exactly what you mean about 'rocks'. It is a scary thing to realise that you are now the oldest generation no longer sheltering under the wings of others. Now the family looks to you for answers and we never feel ready for that responsibility. I think of family as a forest of trees. We smaller trees have sheltered beneath the canopy of much larger, stronger, wiser trees. Now the old trees have fallen but we, the smaller trees don't feel ready to be the canopy, but we must. Now we shelter the even smaller trees beneath us, and bit by bit we grow taller and wiser. We cannot be the men our father's were for they were forged in a different furnace. Their life and times were different, harder, tougher, maybe more honest. But we can hold them in our hearts and remembering their example still receive the help they so readily gave us in life. Like me you have experienced the loss of dear family members and you will know that death does not end the relationship we have with our loved ones. My prayer for you is that as you lay your dearest uncle to rest, you draw comfort from the family around you, and remember that he will always be there to help and advise in your heart. Bless you all.