Gah!! My ex-husband is an idiot!

[smudge]

Wow no offense but he sounds like a real jerk. I mean come on her can't wear the bracelet she made for the 2 days he's visiting with her? Hopefully she had a good visit with her dad and she was happy. What are the colors of his home country?

She was happy... But yeah, just a reminder of how delightful a person he was to be around.

His home country's colors are primary colors: blue, yellow, and red.

And as a bonus/parting gesture he handed me the Discovery documents my lawyer submitted for our divorce trial back in 2011. Not that I need photocopies of my own financial documents when I have the originals. I suppose it's nice he didn't toss them in a dumpster so I could have my identity stolen, but... Seriously, there's still a bit of bitterness on my part over the legal fees - it was a really simple case, and going to trial over cause when I was willing to agree to constructive abandonment was utterly ridiculous. (It was granted on the basis of cruelty.)

I suppose it's better than the Christmas when he returned his wedding ring via DD's backpack.

 

[Mahlzeit]

It sounds like you two are better off with just each other and him not around. Just curious are you in nassau or suffolk?

 

[smudge]

It sounds like you two are better off with just each other and him not around. Just curious are you in nassau or suffolk?

Suffolk.

 

[Mahlzeit]

Us also

 

[onedoodle3]

My daughter's father called and left a voice mail message back in May saying he never wanted to see her again, as far as he was concerned, he didn't have a daughter, he didn't have a son (our DS is 20, DD is 10, she was 9 when the message was left), he didn't have any grandchildren and he hoped we all rotten in He**. DD heard the message. She had been trying to get in touch with him to ask him to come see her sing in the school talent show. She was so upset. Now she wants nothing to do with him and said when he dies, she will not go to his funeral. He has been emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive in the past. I have tried everything to keep some sort of relationship between him and her because I know she would have blamed me for keeping him away. He took care of it all on his own with the message he left. Haven't heard from him since June...which is another kettle of fish...

Anyway, I know how you feel. And the lies he tells her, she will figure them out on her own..She sounds like a smart kid with a great mommy! Good luck.

 

[Sjisty]

When my ex left me, he also left his children (ages 9 and 11). He turned his back on us all and never even tried to see them. He called maybe three times and talked to them on the phone in the first couple of months after he left. Then he left the state (probably so I couldn't find him to collect child support). When my son, who graduated high school with honors and became a Marine, died in 1999, we tracked him down. He showed up at the memorial service at the Marine base, which really upset my daughter. The Marine who was helping us get through everything later told me that he asked them two questions: Why he wasn't contacted by the Marines when my son died and how much was the life insurance? The Staff Sergeant told him that the reason he wasn't contacted is because every form that my son filled out, on the line where it asked for father's name he put "unknown," and as for the insurance, they told him to ask me. He never did. As soon as the 21-gun salute started, I heard a car start up and he was leaving, again walking out of his daughter's life.

Now, his fourth wife has tried to reach out to my daughter on Facebook. My beautiful daughter told them that he was only a sperm donor and her real "Daddy" was the man who I am currently married to. It's his loss. I wonder sometimes if he ever regrets throwing away his children. Anyway, they both rose out of the ashes of a deadbeat dad and became wonderful adults.

 

[nayeli]

Reminds me of my "sperm donor". He literally told my brother and sister that he never loved me as much as them, which I already knew cause he showed it my whole life... anyway he tried to turn my brother and sister on my mom and it worked for a while. Now none of us talk to him, not that he cares. He will be like woe is me then not even call or try to contact or apologize. He didn't even call me for my birthday, christmas, etc after my parents divorced ( I was 12 )

As a child of divorce, with a guy like that your child is better off without them! Don't talk bad about them in front of your child because that will just conflict your child and reflect poorly on you, trust me they will see him for what he is!

Other than that make him pay child support! Your daughter will suffer if you don't, you might be like well we get by okay, well then you can just put that support into her college fund! She is also his responsibility and he needs to pay!

 

[newturkeygirl]

I grew up with one of these dads that spent over 10 years fighting my mom for custody just to hurt her not because he wanted us. Always late to pick us up if he ever showed up. Constantly promising and never delivering. Emotionally abusive, constantly making promises he never kept, evading child support, you name it... Moral of the story, mom was all we ever needed. She remarried a great guy but even if it had just been her, we knew we were loved and that was all that mattered. We both turned out fine.

You daughter knows that you love her, you want her, are proud of her and are there for her. That's what counts.

Good job mom

Sounds like my childhood. Although my dad did cherish my little brother making it obvious that he didn't care or want anything to do with a daughter. Yeah, I tried to do everything to make him proud but I was too young to understand he would never be proud. Then one day when I was 13 I figured it all out, made my mom come pick me up from his house and never went or looked back. I'm a much better person without him. Since then I've been proving him wrong every chance I get. I was never smart enough and nothing I did was good enough, I actually thought I was a dumb person who wouldn't amount to anything because of his mind games. Since then I've gotten my hair license, owned a salon, gotten a bachelors degree and am working on an MBA. It feels good to overcome.

 

[marktoo]

This thread almost makes me ashamed to be male. However I'll not be changing gender anytime in the near future...or ever for that matter.

Growing up is hard enough with two loving parents or one absent for a legitimate reason, let alone with a Dad trying his best to throw a wrench in the works.

You should all be very proud, whatever your relationship to such a man, that you are thriving despite his best efforts to sabotage your life. Live a good life, be happy & success...always the best revenge. Well done!

 

[Shan30]

Sounds like my childhood. Although my dad did cherish my little brother making it obvious that he didn't care or want anything to do with a daughter. Yeah, I tried to do everything to make him proud but I was too young to understand he would never be proud. Then one day when I was 13 I figured it all out, made my mom come pick me up from his house and never went or looked back. I'm a much better person without him. Since then I've been proving him wrong every chance I get. I was never smart enough and nothing I did was good enough, I actually thought I was a dumb person who wouldn't amount to anything because of his mind games. Since then I've gotten my hair license, owned a salon, gotten a bachelors degree and am working on an MBA. It feels good to overcome.

Too weird you could almost be telling my story! Even now he still pulls this stuff. Putting my 30 year old brother through university as we speak and making sure I know about it. Doesn't it feel great to know that it just doesn't matter? Everything I have is mine because I made it so. No hand outs just hard work, commitment, hope and faith. Well and a great husband who does love me