Giving Kids "the talk" (Warning - Holiday Spoilers)

[Fudgie]

Well technically we are lying to our kids from day one. However, I was quite creative in my approach. If asked I never really said yes or no. I put it back on them to figure out. I said things like what makes you think that, or how do you think presents get under the tree. How can we go to grammas and when we get home, presents are under the tree(I ALWAYS forgot something before we left for grammas and unloaded the presents when i went back in to get the forgotten thing). Once we sprinkled reindeer food outside on the snow and when we returned it was gone. (the dogs loved the reindeer food) When they found out and out said MOM are you Santa, I said yes. My eldest said to me "mom let's not tell Heather and i can be santa's helper." worked for me!

After they found out about Santa, then it was What about the Easter bunny, what about the tooth fairy. OH MAN!!!!

Of course the Easter bunny and Santa still come with the coolest stuff!!!

 

[luvmychicknkids]

My kids have never believed in them.....we told them they existed but in such a playful way they always knew and just played along. It is something kids at school do discuss. However, if you have a kid who TRULY believes, having someone at school saying "nuh uh" isn't going to change that. They will go home and ask and mom and dad will assure them that kid is just mean and probably won't get any cool stuff.

 

[chickabator]

My kids have never believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny,ect. I told them from the get go. It soulnds like your cousin and I are alot a like. I don't believe in telling them a lie. I want then to know what the true reason for the Holliday that we celebrate is. Now for the other part. My great neice when she was little believed so much that her dad even went to the extreams of putting her bike on the roof and making foot prints and hoof prints in the yard. They told her that since they didn't have a chimney that Santa left it on the roof. She flipped out. It was so funny watching her. It broke her heart the next Christmas when her dad lost his job and they did not have to money to buy her the special thing she was wanting they had to tell her there was no Santa. She believed so much that she told them they were lying to her when they said that Santa wasn't real and broke down and cried for 3-4 days. She told them that she would never forgive them and to this day now that she is 18 she still remembers that and still has not forgiven them for letting her believe that there was a Santa. Honestly this is the truth.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
No not all of us. I never taught the kids that Santa was real. I taught them the Christian meaning (Jesus birth) of Christmas and that Santa was a really fun story to enjoy. We enjoyed all the cartoon specials and sang Heat Miser till we were blue in the face. They got presents from us and were thankful for God blessing us with the means to get them. They also were taught that if we had a smaller Christmas it wasn't because they were bad or God loved them any less. Both kids were told by other kids in kindergarten there was no Santa. It didn't phase my daughter. My son asked me and I told him "have I ever said there was? (he answered no) What is Christmas about? "( his answer Jesus' birthday) Then I reminded him we can still enjoy all the cartoons and stories as long as we remember what it truly is about. And I told him not to spoil it for other kids.

There is always a kid who loves to ruin it for others. Or just learned the truth and has to spread the word. Or wants to verify it with others. It doesn't matter whether they were always taught about Santa or always taught there was no Santa they will talk about it. I wouldn't be upset at the cousins kids for talking about it as it is a normal part of growing up. And yes your kids will talk about it as well when their time comes.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

In regards to the comment about the rooster "kissing" the hen... I always told my little brother that the rooster was "hugging" the hen (because his wings were spread out over her and it kind of made sense visually). He's a mentally healthy 20-year-old male now; didn't have any issues learning the "facts of life" so to speak.

Sooo...I don't think you'll have to worry.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
I like that. Good way to tell without going into detail.

 

[byrandom]

I do not have children, so take what I type with a grain of salt...

I think that letting the children believe in Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and what have you is harmless. It is just an added ingredient to make life fun for the kids and the adults. I see no problem letting kids believe in fictional characters.. at least for a little while.. I, personally, can't wait to dress up like Santa Claus..

My parents encouraged us to believe in Santa Claus, even after we knew that there wasn't one. We would open the presents from the family on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day there would be a few "special" presents from "Santa Claus". I don't feel like they lied to me...

I enjoy it all!

 

[Judy]

I felt betrayed when I was told the truth, and was not comfortable telling stories to my son. It has to do with trust, not religion, IMHO. He learned the stories AS stories, and was warned that other kids believed them for a while. Have no idea whether this caused problems -- never got any complaints. But I suspect his best friends were also not deceived.

 

[patandchickens]

I think a middle ground is often possible. I tell the kids "a lot of people believe that Santa Claus comes and..." or "nobody's ever seen the Easter Bunny but it's nice to think that he...", which combined with the obvious fact that presents and a basket of jellybeans DO appear seems to satisfy our kids, at least for now. I'm not going to lie and swear they're real; but I don't see anything wrong with a pleasant fiction. (e.t.a. - Santa and the E.B. both leave notes for my kids. I make no attempt to seriously disguise my handwriting. The kids love it, and I don't see anything wrong with that and am just certain the kids don't/won't either)

I am sure eventually the older one (now not quite 5) will ask "so, IS there an actual Santa Claus" and I will answer "there's no one person who is Santa Claus, but people enjoy pretending there is, and when people give other people presents for Christmas morning they are kind of all being Santa Claus, right?"

I don't see that a nod to Santa or the Easter Bunny is necessarily incompatible with observing those things as proper religious holidays. (I was raised very, very Catholic, though my beliefs have changed since then). You can perfectly well emphasize the real point of Christmas and Easter in family activities, but at the same time recognize that there is this cultural construct of a Santa Claus who brings presents or a Easter Bunny or whatever, and enjoy that too, for what it is.

You don't have to swear that something is completely true and real to enjoy it

And what's so terrible about giving someone a nice little gift that makes them happy, or a half-surprise treat once a year?

Announcing to other peoples' children that there is no Santa Claus is just meanspirited and egocentric and obnoxious, I'm sorry

JMO,

Pat

 

[farmerlor]

I come from a family of story tellers, no we're not liars, we like to tell stories. Some are true-like the story I tell my children about Hannibal crossing the alps to fight the Romans, some are complete fantasy-like the stories I told my daughter about the super powers she had and some are a combination of the two. It makes life fun and interesting and fosters imagination. Santa is just another story that makes life fun for kids.