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- #131
Oh man I am sorry you are going through this. I have tried reading this whole thread. As a "disabled" person myself I feel I might have some interesting commentary to add. When I was younger no one ever thought that my life would amount to much of anything. They thought that I was cognitively impaired and that I was going to be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life. They were wrong. Currently, I can walk, talk, drive a car, I am applying to colleges , in other words I can function at the level of a normal adult. You never would have guessed that if you met me when I was younger. Speaking for myself as well as working with a varieties of disabled adults and children , most of the time we can understand a lot more than you think we can. We just have difficulty communicating that with you. It is like being locked somewhere and not being able to get out. It causes both sides immense frustration and sometimes, especially among younger people, it causes us to lash out.
It took me longer to learn how to control my disability enough that I could start functioning normally. It was a slow, painstaking process, but once I caught on I made rapid improvements. I have seen other people do the same thing. Sometimes we surprise you. I am so sorry sometimes life gives us all more than we can handle. I am glad you are considering all your options.
Another common misconception among people is that you have to feel sorry for someone with a disability. The fact is that most people I have met don't want anyone to feel sorry for them. They are just trying to live there lives like everyone else. Treat them exactly like you would want to be treated.
I hope this provides some helpful insight for everyone on or looking on this thread.
I hope things get better for you in the future. I commend you for doing such a great job with everything on your plate.
Thank you for your lovely mail - I am so glad that you diagnosis was wrong and that you are living a really good and happy life.
Sadly for Danny it is very different. Danny is very brain damaged indeed and will never be able to do any of the things that you are able to do. I certainly do think that he gets frustrated. He doesnt; easily communicate and I am more than sure that is why his dad and I are the brunt of his outbursts ( Not so different from a "normal" young person! ) Danny functions at a very young age but he does make his likes and dislikes known!
You are right when you say folk who are disabled - and those who care for them do not want or need folk to "feel sorry for them" - often they just need encouragement like any other person trying to get through lifes ups and downs. Everyone needs a helping hand sometimes too whether disabled or not.
At the moment we ar trying to secure full time residential care for our boy. He will enjoy that with other young folk like himself. He enjoys daycare and restbite care very much indeed. It is good for him to have fresh faces and new friends. We are more than happy with that as DH and I are not young anymore and we have to think on the longterm for our boy. He is not a child anymore he is a Man of 26yrs now though in many ways he will always remain a child. Some say they grow old but never grow up! I guess they are really like Peter pan in many ways!
He will always be a baby and yet he will always now be an adult! So far we have not heard anything more from our social worker and so we are no nearer at the moment.
Oes
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