Gutless worm....

[shelleyd2008]

Jesse has 2 accounts on Facebook. One is the one that I friended originally, he doesn't use that one since his email account was hacked. It was just a string of luck that he happened to check into that one the other day. We talk with each other through his new account...that one has pictures of him on it, so I check that one a lot.

I was talking to a friend of mine today, and she said something about how he said on his facebook page that he was adopted. I've not seen this on the account I check, so it must have been on the other account. So I checked it...

This is what it said:
Hi my name is Jesse i do what i do and what i want to do im very nice but sometimes just cant take....the pain. Im Adopted from my mom i havent seen her since i was 6 im 13. What makes some cry makes me burst out with anger if you knew me you would regret ever meeting me but thus meeting me you wil have gained a great friend. Im lonely, Craving the lust of power as the feeling of pain never goes away my heart sickenes and bleeds for my life back but my old life will never be the same


My poor baby

 

[redhen]

Is he in any therapy Shelley? He does sound like a hurting kiddo.

Were you able to call him yet? Or do you still feel like you want to wait?

 

[shelleyd2008]

Quote:
He said he takes meds for ADHD and bipolar, I would assume that he sees a therapist as well. I haven't called yet, I almost did earlier, but when I talked to him on FB he said he was 'busy'

 

[burquechick]

Maybe, if you call him, you can tell him why you really gave him up? That you love him and have thought of him all these years, but you wanted a better life for him than the one you could provide. You could tell him that you never gave up looking for him, and always knew that you would find him. I don't know. Maybe you should ask a counselor to help you prepare? That might help. I really don't want to be giving you the wrong advice.

 

[Jaguaress]

1. You're not a gutless worm.
2. He wants you to call him and you know he does, plus have the go ahead from everyone involved? Then you have to call him, no matter how uncomfortable you are.
3. Once you call him, you'll wonder why you didn't sooner.
4. Pick up the phone and call. It doesn't have to be perfect; nothing is.

Good luck.

 

[Boyd]

Shelly, I wish I was closer so I could help more

 

[chickenbarn-gal]

Call him! Now is the time that your son needs you the most. He NEEDS you. He LOVES you too. Get over that first step.... You can do it!

 

[shelleyd2008]

Quote:
Technically you are, he's in Three Rivers

 

[Souperchicken]

This story touched my heart. So sad... I hope I say this the right way, but it sounds like your son needs to know you love him and care for him even though you couldn't take care of him at the time. He needs to know he is in the best place right now. It is common for children who are old enough to remember being taken away to fantasize about their bio-parents and long to be with them. If it is too hard to say, write him a note about how you feel about him. I hope I'm not off base for suggesting this. I think it is important that you have contact with him. He was older when he was taken away and therefore can remember you and has bonded with you - there will always be a connection. Much more I want to say but I'm afraid it may not come out right or the way I mean it.
I hope you son finds a way to heal. Such a hard situation.

 

[mylittlechickpea]

He might be "busy" now, but if you call, I'm certain he will make the time. I talked to my biological dad on the phone for the first time a couple years ago. I was busy at the time, and about to get home from work, but I didn't want to be bothered from my mom or brother on the phone and so drove to an empty parking lot instead to keep talking. I can't remember what we talked about now, but it was about two hours we were on the phone. We kind of got our stories starightened out a little bit.

He and my mother were divorced while she was pregnant with me. I guess 24 years ago he was into some pretty bad things, and so that's what I heard all my life growing up. That I was better not having him come around, and he was a druggie and a drunk. Abusive. Good for nothing..

Well I'm glad I made the call. If he was truely as bad off as my family made him out to be, well he has straightened out pretty well. And is a great father to my half sister, a very kind, loving, and understanding man. I wish he and my mother had not been so bitter during mine and my brothers unbringing. I think my brother and I would have turned out better. Our step-dad was a great dad. Though since he and my mothers divorce a few years ago I am now the only one who talks to him

Anyways. We're not here for my issues

Pick up the phone and tell that boy that you love him!