Rules for The Coop that the books don't tell you. My experience as a newbie.

[jackieo61028]

I'm new to this chicken biz so I'm just learning as I go. I'm mentally taking notes on what I need to paint on my Chicken Coop Rules sign.
1. Never wear flip flops when you have pretty pink toenails like mine.
2. Never go inside empty handed. They expect treats. They EXPECT treats.
3. Do the shuffle walking in because they WANT OUT.
4. If a chicken or two gets out, they WANT BACK IN. IMMEDIATELY. But go ahead and chase them around the coop 26 times. It's good for your heart.
5. Don't get too close to their faces. Sometimes they think eyelashes are worms. There isn't much going on up their in that little bird brain.
6. The chickens want to be fancy. They will steal your jewelry at all costs. So what if they have to take a finger off to get it? They may even fly at your chest like a ninja to get that diamond necklace. You won't see it coming. You WILL feel the aftermath. I'm adding a basket at the door to deposit all valuables. You'll get them back when you exit.

And today I'll add...
7. Don't bend over, I mean, unless you want poop on your back.

I'm sure there are many more I'll add as the days go on. Do you have any?

 

[N F C]

These are all great, they should be required reading, especially for anyone new to chickens, lol. A couple more based on my experience:

* There's nothing better than pooping right inside the door or the gate, forget all that other room in the coop or run
* Whatever one chicken is eating, it's always better than what another one is eating (even if they are the exact same thing)
* If you're the first chicken to find something, grab it, run with it and squawk loudly for attention so all the other girls will chase you in a game of keep away
* If it's shiny, it must be yummy
* All food is chicken food
* If someone has raked up a pile, it's meant to be kicked and scratched apart

 

[jackieo61028]

This happened to me a while back, but today I was reminded of it when I walked out to the coop to check on things.

Sooner or later you're going to walk up on a chicken laying on her side on the ground. You're heart may stop and you just might start crying. You may run to your husband screaming for him to go check her because you just can't handle it. You may walk to the coop behind him so you don't look directly at her. He bends down to touch her and RUINS her perfectly comfortable spot on the ground where she's enjoying a nice sun bath.

She screams, you scream, he screams (of course, it was a manly scream), all the girls scream.

It was scary. That's sure something I wish I had read in the book!!!

I got some pictures today, since I had already been through it and knew what was happening.



And then her friend joins her.....



ahhhhhhhh. This is the life.

 

[GitaBooks]

I think I needed that list when I got chickens. LOL!

1: Oh yeah, they go for the toes, the fingers, the eyes, and yes, they go for the lips as well!
2: How do you spell EXPECT? Oh yea, D. E. M. A. N. D.
3: If you have 40 chickens in one coop and try to walk through a door, you should practice walking through a flash flood first
4: You have 300 ft of fence with one opening. The chickens manage to slip out of that 1 ft opening, and yet they try to get back through every other foot besides that one
5: Thankfully, I have glasses. Still, I think they are considering how to get around them when they stare at my eyes the way they do
6: Have you ever heard trying 99 times and only once succeeding? Well, the chickens are sure those buttons will come off your shirt if they just keep trying
7: When I bend over at feeding time, the hens will all try to jump onto my back, as if that will get them food faster


Thanks for sharing!

 

[AmyPaperlady]

Love this thread, although funny- so, so true & you cannot find this stuff in books. 

Here's some more:

1-  Never give them treats on a paper plate - the plate will be considered part of the treat, they'll scratch, shred it and have food runs with the pieces, and a human trying to be the winner of the prize will be crawling where  " no woman or man should ever go".

2- Never use paper towels to clean the roosts, ramp or coop -  another food run with the humans.

3- Never use cotton balls, Q tips or kleenex to clean minor injuries - same results as above.

4- If yours are raised on sand, the sifter and waste bucket are the most interesting items of the day.  And the places you want to sift are the choice bathing areas - it's no fun to be sandblasted up close.

5- Always collect eggs from the left side of a broody hen, they peck to the right.

6- If the flock is in confined area and get startled, you must squat, cover your face face and hope no flying poop will hit you.

Hm... My broody pecks me no matter which side I'm coming from. I guess she must be ambipeckstrous.

 

[Zerlog]

Here are some I learned from keeping chickens.
1. Chickens think scabs are treats
2. They will visciously destroy any small animal they see (frogs, mice, beetles, etc.)
3. They destroy any kind of garden they get into.
4. They will try to steal food from small children.
5. Chickens are SMART. they seem to know how to annoy you when you least expect it. (example: pooping on the main sidewalk or driveway, eating your favorite plants

)

These are the only ones I can think of now, but if I remember more, I will post them.

 

[GitaBooks]

Here are some I learned from keeping chickens.
1. Chickens think scabs are treats
2. They will visciously destroy any small animal they see (frogs, mice, beetles, etc.)
3. They destroy any kind of garden they get into.
4. They will try to steal food from small children.
5. Chickens are SMART. they seem to know how to annoy you when you least expect it. (example: pooping on the main sidewalk or driveway, eating your favorite plants

)

These are the only ones I can think of now, but if I remember more, I will post them.

Agreed!

If you get poison ivy and then handle chickens, the scabs will be gone very quickly. And chickens love food! They miss the food and grab your fingers regularly. And yes, chickens are smart, always when you don't want them to be.

 

[GitaBooks]

These are all great, they should be required reading, especially for anyone new to chickens, lol. A couple more based on my experience:

* There's nothing better than pooping right inside the door or the gate, forget all that other room in the coop or run
* Whatever one chicken is eating, it's always better than what another one is eating (even if they are the exact same thing)
* If you're the first chicken to find something, grab it, run with it and squawk loudly for attention so all the other girls will chase you in a game of keep away
* If it's shiny, it must be yummy
* All food is chicken food
* If someone has raked up a pile, it's meant to be kicked and scratched apart

They are all so true, but the one that I think is the funniest is certainly three. I always try to tell my chicks "if you don't scream the others won't steal it" but they do it anyways. Its like they are asking to have it stolen from them.

 

[Blooie]

Great thread! If I may add -

In every flock there will always be "that one".

*The one who hides when all the chickens are put away for the night, comes out an hour later, and begins to frantically pace the entire run trying to get in. That will also be the one who runs like
the devil is on her tail when you finally see her and try to catch her to put her back.
*The one who pulls sneak attacks from behind and nails the calf of your leg, then looks all innocent when you turn around.
*The one who insists on sleeping in the nest box, no matter how many times you go out after dark and put her up on the roost.
*The one who becomes "Attilla the Hen" and goes seriously broody, until you invest in a clutch of eggs for her - then she has no idea what you're talking about.
*The complainer - the one who screams at all the others for everything from standing in her spot at the feeder to breathing her air.
*The one who finds the space in the perimeter fence that a mouse couldn't get through, then ends up getting mad because the others are getting treats and she can't remember where she sneaked out.
*The one who loudly belts out her rendition of the "egg song" when one of the others lays at 6:00 am, but can't seem to remember how to lay an egg herself until she hears you mention "freezer camp". Then she'll churn out eggs faster than the chocolate assembly line in that famous I Love Lucy episode.
*The one you rescue and work weeks to save, but can't seem to show the slightest amount of gratitude when she's back to her old self!

And generally speaking, that one chicken will end up being your favorite!


Dear, sweet Gladys - "The One" at Oleo Acres.

 

[Zerlog]

Great stuff! I'm pretty sure I have a few with the potential to be "that one".

I have to add...
When you go to buy boots to wear in the coop, opt for the solid colored ones. Black with bright multicolor polka dots is probably not the best choice, even though I'm sure you'd look so, so cute doing your chicken chores in them. Polka dots are food, which means those ladies will be under foot the entire time you're there where they poop. A lot. You'll fall. It won't be pretty. Just go with black. Trust me.

Actually, chickens think that ANYTHING that is on the floor in their coop is food.