Sometimes we're born into the wrong family **long**

[sfw2]

I haven't posted on this thread, yet, mostly because I wasn't sure I have a right to. I was blessed with a surprisingly normal family. I just wanted to let those of you who have shared so much, here, know that I feel for you all. You've made me appreciate my parents even more, and I have a huge amount of respect for all of you, for making it through.

 

[kara_leigh]

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[Laurajean]

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Thank you. Supportive comments are always appreciated. Hope we aren't coming off as a pity party, I know we don't mean it that way, it's just so refreshing to find others in the same shoes who've had such similar experiences when we always thought "we were the only ones". I mean, I knew there were others, but to find each other here has been so interesting. And I'm genuinely thrilled for you that you have the good fortune of a great family, nothing wrong with that!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Thank you. Supportive comments are always appreciated. Hope we aren't coming off as a pity party, I know we don't mean it that way, it's just so refreshing to find others in the same shoes who've had such similar experiences when we always thought "we were the only ones". I mean, I knew there were others, but to find each other here has been so interesting. And I'm genuinely thrilled for you that you have the good fortune of a great family, nothing wrong with that!

AMEN!!!! It is REALLY nice to hear about the good ones. Honestly, for me, hearing about the good parents is really uplifting. I believe it give us hope for our own children.

Tonight I asked my son outright if I was anything like my mother. I was rewarded with confirmation I am nowhere in her hemisphere. I love my son and I am sooo glad to hear he loves me too and I don't cause him pain.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Thank you. Supportive comments are always appreciated. Hope we aren't coming off as a pity party, I know we don't mean it that way, it's just so refreshing to find others in the same shoes who've had such similar experiences when we always thought "we were the only ones". I mean, I knew there were others, but to find each other here has been so interesting. And I'm genuinely thrilled for you that you have the good fortune of a great family, nothing wrong with that!

AMEN!!!! It is REALLY nice to hear about the good ones. Honestly, for me, hearing about the good parents is really uplifting. I believe it give us hope for our own children.

Tonight I asked my son outright if I was anything like my mother. I was rewarded with confirmation I am nowhere in her hemisphere. I love my son and I am sooo glad to hear he loves me too and I don't cause him pain.

That's great Debi. I sure wish my mother was thoughtful enough to ASK how she was doing. THAT'S good parenting right there, asking, and then listening. And while I'm here discussing my mother's dysfunction, I've also been posting about how great my father is over on my Father's Day thread, so I'm not just parent bashing, really. (I know you know that Debi, I'm just speaking generally here). We have great family members, and yes, some of us have lousy ones too. I like discussing all aspects.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
AMEN!!!! It is REALLY nice to hear about the good ones. Honestly, for me, hearing about the good parents is really uplifting. I believe it give us hope for our own children.

Tonight I asked my son outright if I was anything like my mother. I was rewarded with confirmation I am nowhere in her hemisphere. I love my son and I am sooo glad to hear he loves me too and I don't cause him pain.

That's great Debi. I sure wish my mother was thoughtful enough to ASK how she was doing. THAT'S good parenting right there, asking, and then listening. And while I'm here discussing my mother's dysfunction, I've also been posting about how great my father is over on my Father's Day thread, so I'm not just parent bashing, really. (I know you know that Debi, I'm just speaking generally here). We have great family members, and yes, some of us have lousy ones too. I like discussing all aspects.

Me too and hearing from my son tonight did my heart good. Even knowing that I could even ask that question of him was really nice. I loved tghe answer.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
That's great Debi. I sure wish my mother was thoughtful enough to ASK how she was doing. THAT'S good parenting right there, asking, and then listening. And while I'm here discussing my mother's dysfunction, I've also been posting about how great my father is over on my Father's Day thread, so I'm not just parent bashing, really. (I know you know that Debi, I'm just speaking generally here). We have great family members, and yes, some of us have lousy ones too. I like discussing all aspects.

Me too and hearing from my son tonight did my heart good. Even knowing that I could even ask that question of him was really nice. I loved tghe answer.

 

[Barrdwing]

Quote:
That's great Debi. I sure wish my mother was thoughtful enough to ASK how she was doing. THAT'S good parenting right there, asking, and then listening. And while I'm here discussing my mother's dysfunction, I've also been posting about how great my father is over on my Father's Day thread, so I'm not just parent bashing, really. (I know you know that Debi, I'm just speaking generally here). We have great family members, and yes, some of us have lousy ones too. I like discussing all aspects.

This, right here, struck a chord. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my mom's behavior, and looking at her relationship with her own mother, and reading between the lines a lot. I'm pretty darned sure that my mom was just echoing the same attitude that her own mother demonstrated towards her. I also think my mom was overwhelmed by all of the work involved in raising kids, and was rebelling in her own way . . . against us. And when I try to imagine her taking a step back from her own issues and looking at her behavior objectively . . . I don't think she was capable of it. I think she truly had so much anxiety and issues with personal perfection that she couldn't begin to face the thought that she herself might be perpetuating the same painful pattern onto her own kids. It's really a shame.

Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if everyone was able to look at themselves objectively, make an honest assessment of their own actions? But it's scary, and it hurts to think that one's actions may have been harmful; easier to go with the established pattern, whatever it is. I think that's what keeps these harmful patterns going.

 

[whiteflare]

Hmmm..... I said the same thing in a way, but my input not needed?

Anyway, doesn't matter, just wanted to say some of your stories touched me.

 

[nop169]

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