The Dave Leghorn Story~ A Murder Mystery of Epically Punny Proportions

[ozexpat]

All eyes are looking for the escapees

 

[Gargoyle]

BREAKING NEWS from YNN, The Yolk News Network:

Our informant reports that the Basque has struck a deal is cooperating with authorities and giving them important information on the jailbreak. He is expected to receive early parole if his information leads to apprehension of the fugitives.

However, he stands a risk of being labeled a squawker and a stool chicken, which would ruin his authority should he remain behind bars.

 

[Beekissed]

An unnamed witness to the hit and run on the Hick Co. officer earlier today has turned in this photo taken with her cell phone of the suspect. She also identified the driver as Goldie Lipnicky, younger sister of BUD and Dud Lipnicky, two individuals already associated with this complicated and unprecedented crime spree in Hick Co. Goldie Lipnicky has yet to be located for questioning in this incident but warrants have been issued for her arrest for hit and run at this time.

Escaped prisoners are still on the loose with several being spotted in many areas of Hick Co and even over in Bugscuffle Bottoms of Boone Co., with photos coming in from all points as the communities arise in vigilante style mobs to try and help the overworked and overstressed HIck Co. PD. Below are some of the photos sent in to the station via email, with some of the inmates seen simply fleeing across the countryside, while others attempt hiding in creative places, and still others just try wearing a disguise and blending in with the flock.






In coops all across Hick and Boone counties tonight there are some very frightened citizens as the communities lose confidence in the local police forces and known murderers, chicknappers, chick traffickers, fermented feed dealers and car thieves are running rampant across the countryside.




Many hens are keeping their young ones close to them and huddling down to wait out the emergency....



while the local roosters are meeting and forming search parties and flockhood watch details so that no coop is left unguarded. This reporter will keep you posted on the latest updates and of any recoveries of escaped prisoners. Until then, the police has requested that everyone stay incoops and under lock down until further notice and use the 911 emergency system if they suspect any new members in their flock are just escaped prisoners trying to blend in. ~United Press

 

[drumstick diva]

gee guys take a breather, I won't be able to sleep tonight - I'm so nervous my hair is standing on end.

 

[Beekissed]

Rest well, citizen. Hick County has brought in some reinforcements who will stand guard over the area to make sure the fields are safe. The National Guard provided some troops after the governor declared a state of emergency here in the capitol and Korean troops were also sent to augment those numbers, though they didn't seem to have the correct footwear along with them for patrolling the countryside.





While the other units take over, Officer Jake Sooner will take some much needed R&R while the department investigates his claims that the prison break happened while he was relieving himself and Lt. Spike was supposed to be guarding the prisoners. Lt. Spike claims he had a bathroom emergency as well and could not be held accountable for the incident.



Officer J. Sooner, canine unit from Boone Co. is shown here resting after a hard two days working in Hick County on this massive case and now an even more massive chickenhunt.


This surveillance picture at the jail would seem to suggest Officer Sooner was sleeping on the job immediately prior to the prison break and could be disciplined for this by the department pending further investigation.

Officer Sooner is pictured here in a photo from his earlier service days, along with his mentor and fellow officer, Captain G. Pyrenees. This photo seems to show the stark contrast between Sooner's earlier service record when he was a young go getter to his most recent performance where it clearly shows he has aged, become tired and may no longer be fit for service. Some in the community have suggest that Officer Sooner should be retired.



In the photo below, Lt. Spike is shown dealing with his own bathroom emergency at the time of the prison break, so it appears to be a question of miscommunication where two officers thought each other were on guard when in fact they were both in the restrooms at the same time. Department policy strictly forbids leaving a work detail alone and each officer is supposed to sign in and out on the rooster when leaving the site, so an investigation into the mishap is likely, with disciplinary action as a foregone conclusion.

 

[Gargoyle]

Some in the community have suggest that Officer Sooner should be retired.

The morning coffee crowd at the Hicksville Diner on the town square is having heated discussions about his retirement. Most are saying the sooner the better.

 

[ozexpat]

Following the shutdown of the Thai Chicken Mafia's smuggling operation, several key operatives were brought into custody

The rooster known as Pu Yai Bahn (big man around town) was arrested after leaving his jazzercise routine but before he got to his hair club appointment.

He quickly informed on the Indonesians. Interpol(try) has been asked to assist with coordinating a multi nation police task force

The head of the Indonesian smugglers, head roo, ayammata says on a tweet @alldarkmeat: We are #innocent.

AAP photo of Ayammata from 18 months ago

 

[Nutcase]

Hen’s Herald​

BREAKING NEWS!​

Yet another gruesome crime in the ever-growing chain of evil deeds! Mrs Bagawk-bagawk, former forensic scientist in the employ of the CSI, has been released from hospital after being admitted 48 hours ago due to insanity problems. She was driven to complete madness by the recent death of her close friend, Miss Bea. K but it appeared that the shock was finally wearing off, until she returned home to find her niece lying unconscious on the floor of the living room. Little Shelley appears to have suffered some kind of brain injury although there are no visible wounds. There has been some question as to whether or not Tom really committed this crime, because, as the CSI tells us, he is ‘currently indisposed’. Inspector Steele hinted at Mrs Bagawk-bagawk as the assailant, but nothing has been proven despite the fact that in her current state she is quite capable of performing rash deeds.

Shelley is being treated for shock and is currently in a stable condition. Her treatment is conducted at the Cluckingtown Hospital.





No actions have been taken against Mrs Bagawk-bagawk as yet but it would seem that she is an accomplice of the murderer. This morning she was spotted in the local parklands.

Mrs Bagawk-bagawk's passport picture:


Although she has not been taken in custody as yet, her passport has been confiscated.


The CSI and BPS (Poultry Board of Security) meets for a formal dinner after which a discussion will take place.





~Hen's Herald

 

[Nutcase]

Dr. Hoppington, professional forensic scientist and detective, has joined the case. However, she refuses to become involved or associated with the PBS. Hoppington disclosed the following information to the Hen's Herald:

"I wish to remain a freelance detective for as long as possible, although my exceptional skill and talent would make me a useful asset to any organisation. I have already uncovered several crucial clues and aspects of this case which have remained unnoticed by the CSI before now. I do not wish to disclose any more information."

 

[Beekissed]

That black rooster is stunning...but looks like the Rooster of Death! Definitely a bad guy...definitely..definitely (shades of rain man). Excellent additions to the story and I'm extremely glad Dr. Hoppington has made the scene as we were missing that level of expertise on the case, though I think the peacock added a certain elegance and class to the proceedings.

Can't wait to see what happens next!

Oh, and Officer Jake Sooner has tweeted this pic to the oldsters down at the diner...I believe the message went something like this "# ptttttthhhht, raspberries to you old farts#".