The Front Porch Swing

[Blooie]

Me too. Upper at 25 and lower at 29. I never have any toothache at all.

Yeah, but think back to the last thing you ate that had sesame or poppy seeds on it - OUCH!

 

[bruceha2000]

Today is one of those days that everything just seems to be as it should be.

Someone posted baby clothes on a yard sale site and I arranged to come see them right away.. something unusual for us, I usually plan days ahead.

I got 26 pieces of clothing for $20 which is great because most were carter's blanket sleepers which are $8 and up, new.

Our cell service is a mess, so as we drive down the road Justin gets signal and his phone goes nuts with text messages that he did not receive earlier. We pull into a gas station so he can read them. A big red truck pulls in with a flat tire.. I notice the license plate says retired army veteran, so I watch them for a minute. I see a middle aged man with a limp get out, so I say "Honey, you need to see if you can help those folks". Now, this couple is black, we're white. Race isn't a huge issue to us, but we're in Alabama... there's still some hesitance in people. So he helps these folks, and people pass by and obviously stare a little, probably curious as to what's going on. I like that we're perhaps part of something greater, increasing neighborliness regardless of color, hopefully someone sees it and remembers that, rather than Ferguson on TV. Or just even that you should help out others, elderly, veterans especially.

Whatever.

The man's wife comes and looks at my kids in the car and we talk a bit, she gives Thomas some gummies.

Justin has replaced the tire, I air it up with our little portable compressor.

All said and done, the lady tries to give Justin money and he refuses. That's just how he is, he's a really REALLY good guy. Genuinely good.

She offers it to me, I turn it down several times, so she stuffs it in my hands (I've got my hands full with dirty diaper wipes from cleaning Justin's hands). I felt guilty, I didn't wanna take it, but she said "Don't tell me my money isn't good enough" and that was like.. well, I don't wanna insult her either. She said "Buy yourself some new clothes" and I realized we both looked kinda ragamuffin. We dont buy new clothes... ever.. not for us anyway.

I doubt we'll buy new clothes for us, though.. Justin said "You didnt take her money, did ya?" but it's not like she gave me much choice. I felt guilty taking it and I felt guilty not taking it. Turns out she gave me $50. Justin felt bad, saying it's way too much.

It was just one of those right place right time things. We had no plans of being there, 4 hours ago. They were just gonna put some fix-a-flat in the tire (there's no way they would've gotten far with that, that tire was messed up bad). All these church going folk driving by to go to church, just ignoring these folks. It drives me crazy how folks can sit in church and listen to a preacher and not notice the world around them where they can put the word of Jesus to use. They'll go on some missionary trip to God knows where, but ignore their fellows right next to them.

Anyhoo.

Justin is a good man.

I think I'll buy him a plum tree. That's what he's been wanting

(He also 'saved' a cat the other day. Poor thing got hit by a car on our street, he took it to the vet, but didn't make it. That man is a true angel. Not a bad bone in his body.)

You are good people Sietske. I'm with you on the money. We don't help other people because we expect or want to be paid. I help you when you need it, you help me when I need it. I have a "problem" with my neighbor across the road. If I do some little thing to help him out, he HAS to excessively compensate me but if he does something for me - NO won't take a thing. For instance I had my garden tractor with the snowblower on it out one day last winter so I went across the road and took a pass down his driveway and back out. He has a plow on his old not road worthy truck so he could have done it himself but it took all of 5 minutes. He INSISTED on giving me gas, tried to give me FIVE gallons! I didn't use a cup of gas at his place. Fortunately I had filled the tank pretty recently so there wasn't much room. Now this is the same guy who lives on disability and had taken me to the town sand pile in his other truck because we had wicked ice, I didn't know where the place was and couldn't carry much in my car anyway. Wouldn't take any money for gas and he probably used a gallon at least. Can I take 5 minutes to move a little snow for him?? NO!!!!!!!!!!

Consider your act as a "pay it forward" and use the money to buy that plum tree. Maybe some day you can give excess plums to people who need them and the money those people gave you becomes their "pay it forward". They just won't know it. But then you never know when your "pay it forward" provides you with something, that is how it works

TTmom, that's a nice story. It pays helping others, you never know when you might be the one needing help yourself. And planting a plum tree is fun. But ours still sin't giving any fruit, I mean come on, it's been in the ground for at least a month now.

Here it is freshly planted.

And now:


Absolutely no progress. These fruit trees really are not for the impatient gardeners

Probably those lousy Finnish variety plums. Here they bear fruit the second week after planting, even mid winter!

Did your chickens help dig the hole? I found that mine increase the planting time by a good 2 hours.

Nice looking snow rails

We got good weather today and I'm painting mine out in the workshop prior to installation. The paint can said it has to be 65 F to 90 F (18C to 32C), not always easy to get in October in Vermont!.

Story form my boss- he swears it is true and he overheard the whole thing while he and his wife were having lunch in a restaurant. Here is the condensed version of the conversation one booth over:
High School Senior - Man, I graduate in a couple of months. I don't know what to do with my life.
Mother - Well, Julio seems like a nice boy. Go to the dance with him and get pregnant. Then he will marry you and take care of everything.
High School Senior - No, he plans to go to college and says that he isn't going to marry anyone until he graduates with a degree.
Mother - well, isn't there another boy that you can marry?
Grandma - Don't worry if they won't marry you. Just go on assistance. Free money and you don't have to work.
High School Senior - I don't know if I can live on what they give you for assistance.
Grandma - No problem, just have more kids with other daddies. That what I did.
Mother - Yah, me too.

I felt like an oddity there, I was married, never been divorced and no kids from other daddies.

And that is why some people are against having "government assistance" programs of any type. One bad apple as they say.

Oh, I dunno - getting pregnant with me was deliberately done so Ma and Dad could get married! Dad had a form of Leukemia and in 1950 that was a death sentence. But they were young and in love and both of their parents said "NO!" They knew he wouldn't survive long. So, presto - me! That was in the day where if you got "in the family way" you married and that's what Ma and Dad counted on! He lived 4 more years and they added my amazing sister to our little family.

Well you ARE the exception (to almost everything

) Blooie.

My teeth were bad - I mean really, really BAD. I am totally, absolutely, irrevocably, pants-wetting terrified of the dentist. I take anti-anxiety meds to go with Ken for his appointments - just to sit in the waiting room, for goodness sake. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, got a couple of prescriptions, and made my first dental appointment since 1973, the year Kenny was born. This was 2 years ago. All I had left in my mouth were 7 very bad bottom teeth. I've had my upper denture since I was 23 years old. He was able to save the bottom teeth and I'll be getting a partial next spring. After the work was done, he recommended sugarless gum. He said that when we are out and about, chewing gum after eating or when my mouth feels dry increases saliva and bathes my teeth in a natural and essential "rinse" until I can brush. He told me not to pop gum in my mouth and keep gnawing it like a cow chewing a cud - instead when we get back into the car to leave the restaurant I should do a quick floss with one of those little floss picks, pop a piece of gum into my mouth, and chew it until the flavor fades, then get rid of the gum. The problem was that none of the sugarless gums are the kind that don't stick to dental work. So we compromised. I use a sugared, non-sticking gum, but as soon as I toss the gum I drink some water. Since I'm not about to go for a repeat of the "Dental summer of 2012" if he told me to chew barbed wire after eating I'd carry a roll of it in the car! So far every checkup (and yes, I do that now 2x a year....I take an anti-anxiety pill at night and two about an hour before I leave for the office) has been really good. Easy cleanings, and we are getting ready to make a replacement upper plate for the one I've had in my mouth for 41 years and get my partial done. Wanted to do implantse, but the bones have deteriorated so badly from dental neglect that I'd have to have surgery to build that up. No thanks!

My grandmother said "take care of your teeth, you don't want dentures". Given your later post, I can see why you didn't!

Blooie, sounds like a great dentist. And Ken was a sport for doing that for you.

I'm 28 years old, and have not had a single cavity in my life. One wisdom tooth was removed when I was about 16-17, I kept having these horrible migraines due to it. I did grind my teeth a bit at one point, but I had my teeth sanded to better shape and that took care of that.

Sometimes you just get the right "tooth" genes. My Dad has, I think, 1 filling. He will be 86 in 2 weeks. My mother had a mouthful of fillings, crowns, etc. I have 4 fillings, all lower molars, my older sister also has few fillings. My younger sister "got" my Mother's teeth. She had fillings in her baby teeth. She had fillings in her adult teeth by the age of 16. She has crowns and bridges. I expect she will be looking at dentures later in life (56 now). All three of us went to the same dentist, brushed our teeth, etc. One drew the short straw.

 

[vehve]

Tt, hows the dental healthcare in Holland? How about a quick trip? KLM could have some cheap flights...

Bruce, no help digging from the chickens. They've tried afterwards though.

 

[Tomtommom]

Dental care is pretty similar in the US as it is in Holland, just more coddling with numbing folks up in the US. It's because of the commercial nature of health care in the US, if a dentist doesn't do everything so the customer feels as little as possible, they'll just go to the next person. There are dozens of dentists in close proximitity. In Holland there tends to be only one of everything in a given area. In the US you will see four gas stations back to back for competition, while in Holland they wont build a second gas station if there's already one. Healthcare works like that too.

The gas station thing I recall being one of those things that struck me as really odd. You could have 2-3 right next to eachother... so pointless

Space is far too precious for that in Holland.


Bruce, elderly folks are like that. I had this sweet ol' lady next door and I'd make cinnamon rolls for Sunday breakfast and make WAY too many (really, two dozen? ... LOL). So I'd send the kid next door with a plate. The next day she'd have send her daughter to the store to go buy toys and clothes and candy for the kids.

It's like goodness, don't worry about it! I had way too many...

I give eggs to my neighbors too. Younger folks will take 'em, say thanks and that's it. All I expect, ya know? They're just sitting around getting old.


The teeth thing... antibiotics as a kid can severally affect dental health. Dentist told my mom that. My little brother was a sickly thing and his teeth are a mess. It doesn't help he became a baker as a teen... the flour in the air will stick to your teeth so it's the same effect as eating all day. He didn't go for years and years either. Thank goodness a dentist took him on as a charity case and fixed him up. He's 29 now.. I think they saved his teeth. But it wasn't pretty for a while.

I had quite a bit of antibiotics as a kid, but not as much as my brother though. My front teeth look just fine. Thanks to orthodontics I've got a nice smile. Just dont look at all the fillings in my molars

 

[bruceha2000]

Bruce, elderly folks are like that. I had this sweet ol' lady next door and I'd make cinnamon rolls for Sunday breakfast and make WAY too many (really, two dozen? ... LOL). So I'd send the kid next door with a plate. The next day she'd have send her daughter to the store to go buy toys and clothes and candy for the kids.

It's like goodness, don't worry about it! I had way too many...

I give eggs to my neighbors too. Younger folks will take 'em, say thanks and that's it. All I expect, ya know? They're just sitting around getting old.

elderly folks are like that.

Perhaps, but this guy is 2 years younger than me! It is just a "thing" with him. He can't accept uncompensated help but he won't give anything BUT uncompensated help. I told him I'm going to stop helping him if he insists on compensating me for piddly little things. I keep telling him "I help you when you need it and you help me when I need it. There is no "pay" for that sort of thing, it is how the world works when it works well".

 

[Tomtommom]

elderly folks are like that.

Perhaps, but this guy is 2 years younger than me! It is just a "thing" with him. He can't accept uncompensated help but he won't give anything BUT uncompensated help. I told him I'm going to stop helping him if he insists on compensating me for piddly little things. I keep telling him "I help you when you need it and you help me when I need it. There is no "pay" for that sort of thing, it is how the world works when it works well".

Hah, I must've misread it. I thought I read that he was an old man.

No offense

 

[Tomtommom]

You just put that money in a jar or something and hang on to it. And when there's a time he needs something, you use that money. Leave it on his porch anonymously. Groceries or something.

 

[lazy gardener]

Bruce, this guy has a serious issue with self worth. He NEEDS to be on the giving end to compensate for some feeling of insecurity or an inferiority complex. My guess is that he needs a lot of validation. Perhaps if you give him a lot of verbal validation, you can help him get past this issue to a point of more trust for good reciprocation in relationships. Or, you could just realize that that's the way he is, and accept his need to be the giver in all situations. There are worse types of neighbors to have!!!!

 

[Wisher1000]

Good point!

 

[tntchix]

Sometimes, people (me) realize how much of a "taker" they are and decide to turn it around or maybe they are finally in a position to give more than their share. That is where I stand right now. I was a spoiled, rotten brat and consumer growing up and once I realized how little I really need, I now use that money to help people whether they like it or not.

just my 2cents