The Front Porch Swing

[Alice28]

No, it was a commercial for judge Judy and a woman in court said the guy got her that as a gift and the judge made that comment. Obviously it's a bad gift for someone who does t do anything in the kitchen, but I felt it was a good gift for a lot of people. I was just shocked by the response.

 

[Alice28]

I say, with the amount of useless stuff we buy these days, a gift that is needed and will be used on a daily basis is a lot better than some trinket. But I'm a man, what do I know.

I agree with you. Last year for Christmas my husband and I got a joint gift. We bought a new couch! I use it every day and love it!

 

[vehve]

I can see that to some people, that might be a similar gift as giving someone deodorant. Now that is a bad gift. One that should never be given, unless the person explicitly asks for it. And even then, it's still a bad gift. If a mother in law gives her daughter in law who hates cooking kitchen stuff as a gift, then I can see getting offended by it. But in that case, the gift comes with a hefty dose of judgement attached.

*Edit* After reading through this, I came to the conclusion that this is very bad English, but I hope my point comes across.

 

[enola]

Christmas tree stories.......... My dad died when I was 9. He left Moma with 7 children. You can imagine how tight money was. My Moma pinched pennies until they SCREAMED! But, Christmas was always very special for our family. We cut our trees off of the property we owned. Some of those trees were ugly. Most of them were white pines, so they were rather sparse, tall but very see-through! But, when my Moma got done stringing lights on the tree, starting with lights strung starting near the trunk and going round and round, that tree was beautifully lit up! What a joy to hang decorations on! When we were done hanging all the decorations on the limbs, Moma would put the tinsel over the tree. Such a sight to behold! A wonderful tradition. When my brother was dying from liver cancer, the doctors discharged him so he could come to Moma's and die in the house he grew up in. He lived for 5 more weeks. The family was by his side as much as possible. There were many conversations about Christmas's past, as his bed was in the living room that held so many Christmas trees. I found it simply amazing how many Christmas stories one family could hold in their minds.............. My Moma didn't put up any more Christmas trees in her house after that summer. Our family now gathers at my youngest brother's house............ A new tradition..........

 

[Wisher1000]

I think it depends on the person receiving the gift.

If you want a new fridge and DH buys it for you, great. He should know you well enough to know if it would be well received.

My DH is not really good at gifts, that's okay. If I want it, I buy it. If it is near a holiday, I tell him what I want and he will get it. I must tell him EXACTLY which one I want, how much it costs, which store has it, and when to buy it. Sigh, I can just do it myself. For years, he would ask me what I wanted for Christmas as he was headed out the door to do his Christmas shopping ... on Christmas EVE! I would tell him something only to be asked how much it costs and where would he be able to find it. I would tell him the store I saw it in or where I thought it could be found, only to get a call twenty minutes later saying it was not there and where else should he look? This would go on for a couple of hours and ending in him being mad and not being able to find it. It would start over. Then he would get mad at me because I wanted things that were sold out (on Christmas Eve.) I found it easier to just buy my own gifts as I see them and pull them out for him to give me. I get the best gifts that way. Last year, he gave me a GQF Sportsman Cabinet incubator and boy was he surprised!

I hate gift card exchanges, too. If I am going to get my MIL a $50 gift card and she is going to give me a $50 gift card, what's the point?

Give me a hug and we'll call it even.

 

[Alice28]

I think it depends on the person receiving the gift.

If you want a new fridge and DH buys it for you, great.  He should know you well enough to know if it would be well received. 

My DH is not really good at gifts, that's okay.  If I want it, I buy it.  If it is near a holiday, I tell him what I want and he will get it.  I must tell him EXACTLY which one I want, how much it costs, which store has it, and when to buy it.  Sigh, I can just do it myself.

I hate gift card exchanges, too.  If I am going to get my MIL a $50 gift card and she is going to give me a $50 gift card, what's the point?

Give me a hug and we'll call it even.

My husband is the same way. One year I needed new cloths (you might now like this

). I told him "I want money for Christmas and my birthday (3days after Xmas) so I can get some cloths. He got me a gift card to a store in the mall with poor quality cloths. He tried and I was thankful, but the next year I said "I need some new pants and I want money because then I can go to the thrift stores and find ones that are agood brand for a few dollars". I love thrift stores. I get almost all my clothes and my sons from thrift stores. My husband wouldn't get me anything if it was up to him. Not like he's mean, he just honestly wouldn't think about it. I know that it would hurt my feelings so I just remind him. I tell him even if it's just a card. My birthday and Christmas aren't very happy times with happy memories, so I don't do much, but I want something small.

But I love gift cards.... I definitely don't want a hug from my mother in law! Lol. But she would never give me one anyways. Haha.

 

[perchie.girl]

Ok guys, this is going to be a long one. I was hoping to get some of your guys opinions on this.... Here it goes.

I was at a friends house when a commercial came on. In the commercial a woman said that a man bought her a stove and a refrigerator as a gift. Another woman looked horrified and made some comment like "I would have gotten rid of him then" or something to that effect. Anyways, my friend turned to me and said "well that is a pretty horrible gift." I completely disagreed. I said I would be thrilled if I got a new stove or refrigerator as a gift. We went back and fourth on this for a bit. I said maybe if it was a bad one or if it was in bad condition I wouldn't be happy, but if I went to the store and said "I love this stove or this fridge" and my husband got it for me for my birthday or Christmas I would be thrilled and I still thought its a great gift. We went back and forth a bit more and then I said how it's such a practical gift. My friend responded with "that's why it's a bad gift!"

obviously we weren't going to agree. Now to be fare, my friend is old enough to be my mom and was raised in a different generation, but I still think it would be a great gift and something I would use every day. I was just wondering what you guys thought. My friend said that it shouldn't be given as a gift and could be bought another time. We know my thought. Anyways, chime in if you would like. I was just smoked by her response and it's been bugging me.

Not enough data.... It really depends on the relationship between the man and the woman weather its a good gift or not. But it Certainly would be a personal gift for me.... Therefore I would have to be in a long term relationship to get a gift like that from a man. And because of the nature of my house it would have to be an in person selection process.

No gift is a bad gift.... But if its used to manipulate you for some reason... its a bad situation. I would refuse it in that case even if it were the exact ones I wanted.

So the best opinion I could give on the subject.... It depends.

deb

 

[perchie.girl]

No, it was a commercial for judge Judy and a woman in court said the guy got her that as a gift and the judge made that comment. Obviously it's a bad gift for someone who does t do anything in the kitchen, but I felt it was a good gift for a lot of people. I was just shocked by the response.

Ah that explains it.... Um the question that is...

deb

 

[dpenning]

Ok guys, this is going to be a long one. I was hoping to get some of your guys opinions on this.... Here it goes.

I was at a friends house when a commercial came on. In the commercial a woman said that a man bought her a stove and a refrigerator as a gift. Another woman looked horrified and made some comment like "I would have gotten rid of him then" or something to that effect. Anyways, my friend turned to me and said "well that is a pretty horrible gift." I completely disagreed. I said I would be thrilled if I got a new stove or refrigerator as a gift. We went back and fourth on this for a bit. I said maybe if it was a bad one or if it was in bad condition I wouldn't be happy, but if I went to the store and said "I love this stove or this fridge" and my husband got it for me for my birthday or Christmas I would be thrilled and I still thought its a great gift. We went back and forth a bit more and then I said how it's such a practical gift. My friend responded with "that's why it's a bad gift!"

obviously we weren't going to agree. Now to be fare, my friend is old enough to be my mom and was raised in a different generation, but I still think it would be a great gift and something I would use every day. I was just wondering what you guys thought. My friend said that it shouldn't be given as a gift and could be bought another time. We know my thought. Anyways, chime in if you would like. I was just smoked by her response and it's been bugging me.

I think it depends on a few things. Knowing the person on the receiving end and whether they are practical or sentimental as well as where you are in your life. DH and I are both very practical people and there are very few times we have a true "need" vs want at a gift giving time. If we did we would be thrilled to receive that needed item as a gift. We really don't exchange gifts though because there is very little we need. At this point in our lives if there is something we really want we get it, if it is a big ticket item we would discuss it first.

Now a different recipient, someone you know is very sentimental about gift exchange opportunities, puts a great deal of thought and consideration into gifts, even if they are small, older person at a stage in life where they are financially comfortable, a practical gift would likely be less appreciated than someone who is young and just starting out in life.

Point is it is going to be different for everyone and you have to know your recipient.

 

[tntchix]

Ok guys, this is going to be a long one. I was hoping to get some of your guys opinions on this.... Here it goes.

I was at a friends house when a commercial came on. In the commercial a woman said that a man bought her a stove and a refrigerator as a gift. Another woman looked horrified and made some comment like "I would have gotten rid of him then" or something to that effect. Anyways, my friend turned to me and said "well that is a pretty horrible gift." I completely disagreed. I said I would be thrilled if I got a new stove or refrigerator as a gift. We went back and fourth on this for a bit. I said maybe if it was a bad one or if it was in bad condition I wouldn't be happy, but if I went to the store and said "I love this stove or this fridge" and my husband got it for me for my birthday or Christmas I would be thrilled and I still thought its a great gift. We went back and forth a bit more and then I said how it's such a practical gift. My friend responded with "that's why it's a bad gift!"

obviously we weren't going to agree. Now to be fare, my friend is old enough to be my mom and was raised in a different generation, but I still think it would be a great gift and something I would use every day. I was just wondering what you guys thought. My friend said that it shouldn't be given as a gift and could be bought another time. We know my thought. Anyways, chime in if you would like. I was just smoked by her response and it's been bugging me.

I would love a new appliance if it was needed, if just an upgrade, not so much. I make my own jewelry so no bling for me. I got a vacuum one year and was over the moon because the piece of junk I had didn't pick up anything. That said, I explained exactly what I wanted. DH is not good at gifting, he gets stuck thinking I will want a repeat for a few years.

Some want to be surprised, some don't. Some are afraid to ask for what they want and just graciously accept any gift without ever gently sharing they would want something different. I fall somewhere in between.

Take for example, my mom always wants us to have something to open so we tell her about some gift we want but would never buy ourselves to make her happy. I would rather not exchange but that's not going to happen.

...my 2 cents...