Things you never said until you had chickens.......

[de kippendame]

These are great!! I can't stop laughing!!

Some things we say around here:
"Bernadette, Sweet Pea is in that box right now! Just go in an empty one and quit griping about it!!"

"If that darn Black Beard doesn't end up shootin' out some eggs, that little **** is goin' in the stew pot!!!"--He/she is totally psycho toward humans!

My sons, "KEVIN!!!! QUIT TACKLING YOUR GIRLS!!!"--they are 6 & 8...we have not discussed what the "tackling" actually is...they think it is Kevin's way of letting the girls know who their protector is.

My sons, "MOM!!! Buford(one of the babies) just tackled his Mama!!"

"Looks like it's time to poke Jamima's butt again"---she has been retaining fluid.

"It is a MOLE, you can't eat it!"

"Seriously, Periwinkle, we get it!! You laid an egg, enough gloating already!!"

When having to reach under their roost at night to get the fan out of the window in case it rains, "Alright, nobody poop, I'll only be a minute!!"

And as many have already said, every farm with any amount of outbuildings is analyzed as "Oooo, you could fit tons of chickens in there!!!" Or driving by houses wondering if they want to sell their shed so we can convert it into another coop!

 

[Zonoma]

I have a mottled d'uccle that rides around on my shoulder like a parrot. People always look at me funny when I tell them, "Blue never poops on me. She's a polite bird! She gets down to poop."

I suppose I look ridiculous standing on the backporch yelling "ROMEO!" at the top of my lungs until the roo brings the girls home.

 

[kenchirole]

"Honey, why is the hen sneezing?"

 

[galanie]

Would you hold my cock and pullet, please....
from an old joke... but still funny when you  ask an unsuspecting soul.... 

 

[galanie]

I have a mottled d'uccle that rides around on my shoulder like a parrot. People always look at me funny when I tell them, "Blue never poops on me. She's a polite bird! She gets down to poop."

I suppose I look ridiculous standing on the backporch yelling "ROMEO!" at the top of my lungs until the roo brings the girls home.

I have an EE that does that. But she's not so polite as yours so her shoulder time is limited.

 

[das Huhnchen]

When husband is retiring for the evening, and he's forgotten to lock up the hen house, he'll frantically call, "Mein Huhnchens!".
We're not German.

 

[kteel]

This post is really funny. I guess I am seeing what is going to happen to me later. I've had chicks for 10 days and already

"Turn that light on so I can look at their butts"
"Get down from there and get back in the brooder"
"Aren't you feathering out so nice"

 

[scriptkiddie]

Heard this one this morning.
Dad! We have a FART EGG!!!!

 

[Roxannemc]

I have a stinker!!!

My package isnt here yet ? OHH NO.! My EGGS , 3 more are coming, please watch for them

Dont throw those watermelon rinds in the trash ...the chickens!!

Gotta get a nest box made their combs are turning red!

That late? Dang now i gotta walk to the coop in the pitch dark to close it.

Cant be gone all day!.... gotta turn my eggs
Lock down.....NO ... cant leave at ALL now!.

Ok while im gone dont forget to add water to the bators. Where? In the closet with my clothes, of course
Oh and dont forget 6;30am Sat morning go open the coop door. Yes i know you would like to sleep in. Next weekend

Dont forget to check the bators every hour or 2 for humidity.Dont they have commercials in overtime games?

Sure I know you want to go meet your friends and you CAN but after 10 pm when the chicken stuff is done.
Controls my whole life? Oh i wouldnt say THAT!

 

[Roxannemc]

My older son to me in our weekly phone call ;
"How is the 'Tyson' chicken farm doing?"
To him;
Guess what? I have 40 more eggs incubation.!..dead silence... (then I hear the faint sound of the guys in white coats getting in their truck)