Hey just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you today. Hope all goes smoothly and you make peace with it in your heart and don't have any sad feelings.
It would be extremely tuff for me as well. I watched a home stedder on line do it in a very calm gentel way. She held it soothed it til it was calm. Slit its throat and broke its neck. She teared up a bit but it is the circle of life. Good luck wish I could help in any way