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I spend more time with my kids! Everyone who has learned to cope after living like this needs some kind of outlet for all that unused love and affection. I also tend to spend a lot of time talking to God and soaking up the beauty of these mountains. Sometimes you just have to let go! I...

Quote: I imagine there are many, many like us out there. You know, it took me until this year (I am 42) to realize my mother's role in all this. I had always pictured her as being a victim, right along with us kids. My eyes were opened this year and I now know she was an enabler and a...

I didn't walk away...I ran! I got married to a bum just to get out. Had a child, divorced and had to move back...this was much, much worse. Had to live with the parents for 2 times during my adult life...once right after the divorce and once during going to nursing school. When I moved out...

Oh, they know. They just feel like they have every right to do so, as their father did before them and his father did also. To them, its a man's right to do anything they want and everyone else can just suck it up. Even when living in a world of people who do not do these things as good...

I feel your pain! My father was like this, my grandfathers on both sides was like this and one of my brothers sounds just like your brother, except without the religion. I know you feel some distress over these kids but you can't help them right now. Maybe down the road, maybe never, but just...

Some of you have got to be thinking the same thing I am, but I'll not be the first to say it!

Children who are being abused usually do all they can to get out of the home as soon as they reach majority age. They would pretty much have to be choosing to remain at home at the age of 25. The kind of abuse that could control someone of that age would be pretty obvious to an outsider, right...

Mental and verbal abuse, for some reason, isn't seen as serious a problem as it should be. I agree, Deb 1! Especially by the people doing it and the people who enable them to do it. My mother's pat answer to all the hell she and her children went through (and are still going through) is...

I homeschooled some years, as well, but it had nothing to do with controlling my kids. Rather it had to do with controlling the quality of education at the time. Our school system at the time was woefully inadequate for my children's intellect and individual preferences for teaching methods...

I simply LOVE hearing good "big family" stories! Since our story was, and is, so despairing, I grew up wishing we were the Waltons. Thanks for the uplifting note, Carla!

Yep, one of the first things a person like this does is isolate from the family. They may give a thousand reasons, but its really another way to control the environment around their victims. Sad, so very sad but I've seen it in my family, in a hundred families with which I come in contact...

As a nurse, I can tell you that one of the first things we look for in a home where there are deeply seated control issues is a big family. Its possible that this "great father" that everyone sees on the outside, has been very authoritative in his home. Sounds like he has been controlling...