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I dont think you are going to get something that fits all your requirements..... you will probably be able to get 2 out of 3 or 2 from 4 of your wishes..... choose the top 2 attributes and then decide on a breed..... You will probably find that mutts will be your best option...... get 4 or 5...

Barred rocks and wyandottes are too big and slow.... You would want to have some sort of game chicken.... Semi feral chickens aren't going to lay eggs where you want them to.... unless you want to go egg hunting each day.