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The issue with a pony too small for the OP to ride is that it may well soon learn how to give her daughter fits. This is why there are lots of 'rotten' small ponies. They seldom encounter someone small enough to ride them with the ability to make them do as they're told. Some ponies are...

I don't see why one size couldn't fit all in this case. The OP isn't wanting to do Grand Prix dressage or event every other weekend. Obviously she's going to be accommodating of what her child needs (since it's her horse!), so the horse/pony might be slower or quieter than she'd choose for...