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I'd tell the old grouch that if I couldn't have chickens, I'd get emus. See how she likes looking over her fence at a bird that can look her in the eye. Tell her if she's concerned about Avian flu to stay current on her flu shots. Seriously, what are they going to do to you if you keep your...

I'd tell the old biddy that I don't allow my chickens to carry anything, as extra work inhibits their egg-laying. I'd further tell her that if she didn't straighten her act up, I was going to request the council to re-zone my neighborhood IDIOT-FREE and she'd be having to move.