My Mom Hates Me

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Chickenfan4life

Chickenfan4life

Crowing
7 Years
Aug 28, 2012
12,770
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Planet No
I have never had a really good relationship with my mom, ever since I had gotten past the age of 11, our relationship just got worse. My mom always seems to have the perfect hurtful words. Today was no different. I was just sitting at a desk, minding my own business, painting a model, and she comes in and sees some of my sister's trash on the floor. It's not my trash, and she knows that, but she yells at me! And I mean full-volume, real yelling! So I told her that it wasn't mine and I said "Why did you even have to come in here and start yelling? All you have to do is say 'there's trash on the floor' and I'll pick it up." and that was it! She started yelling even more, and then she told me that this was her house and that when I was old enough, she would pack my sh*t and kick my butt out the door. What did I do wrong? Even as I write this, y keyboard is soaked in tears. I am crying my eyes out! I don't understand. It's just unfair!
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Thanks for reading. Any hints on why she was acting that way towards me would be very appreciated.

Sincerely,
A Broken-Hearted Hannah.
 
She seems like such a nice person, and, in a way, she is. I mean, she is very nice with everyone, even me, sometimes. But she isn't always that way. And it's always me that she is mad at. I am so confused! Any ideas on what I am doing wrong?
 
I am going to answer with the first thing that crossed my mind: asking a bunch of chicken people for help with a woman none of us have ever met is probably not the most productive use of your time. I would encourage you to seek assistance from your church, school counselor, maybe ask your mom to go to counseling with you.

I do not want to discourage you from finding answers either. I just feel that a chicken forum is probably not the best place to seek advice in personal relationships. At least, not something this serious. Bullies at school, a little brother driving you mad, a cute guy asked you out and what do you wear, yeah we can help you with that stuff.
hugs.gif
 
Hugs, It's a hard part of life growing up.
I have no advice or insight.

Maybe you can try to go out've your way and say Mom, I love you. I don't wanna fight with you, give her a hug. She may be stressed out about something, children never know about.

As the old saying goes, "kill her with kindness" She may just need that.

I like the idea to seek assitance for the church or school counslers

It will get better, many hugs
 
(((Chickenfan))) First off, it's not your fault, you have done nothing wrong. Perhaps your mom isn't feeling well, or was just having a bad day. Perhaps she is feeling stress due to the holidays, and money issues. My suggestion is to straighten up your room, then go to your mom, and give her a hug, and tell her you love her. Ask if there is anything you can do to help out around the house. Maybe tomorrow sit down with her, and tell her she hurt your feelings, and is there anything you can work out to ease the stress she is apparently feeling. Remember, your mom loves you dearly, and doesn't intend to hurt you.
 
Sometimes a parent and child might have too similar a personality even when neither one can see it. They will butt heads no matter what and it can be very hurtful and frustrating for both. Not sure if thats your case but sorta try to look at it impersonally and maybe you will find this to be the case. I only say this because I have experienced it and eventually realized it and just knowing why we butt heads made things better.

I would also encourage you to talk to someone that knows you both. Sometimes you just need someone not in the middle of it all to give you a fresh perspective.
 
My mother was like that to a degree. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. Ever. She was unhappy in her own life, so she took it out on me. I did go to counseling, and it helped. My mother went for a while, but when the counselor told her most of the problems between us were of her own doing she immediately quit going.

One thing that really helped me was the mother of a friend of mine who I could go to when things were bad at home. See if you can find someone like that. I also did what I could to minimize both contact and interaction with my mother. The less contact the less conflict. I spent a lot of time in the library and on my horse. When she screamed at me, I tried not to respond. That was difficult when we both were living in the same house, but I did what I could. You might try it.

You can't change another person, and that includes your mother. The only thing you can change is yourself and how you react to her. Chances are, her negativity toward you has nothing whatever to do with you. You are just the target. I urge you to get counseling. Asking the school guidance counselor is a good start. You need to do that before she destroys your self esteem.
 
debiraymond said:
I am going to answer with the first thing that crossed my mind: asking a bunch of chicken people for help with a woman none of us have ever met is probably not the most productive use of your time. I would encourage you to seek assistance from your church, school counselor, maybe ask your mom to go to counseling with you.

I do not want to discourage you from finding answers either. I just feel that a chicken forum is probably not the best place to seek advice in personal relationships. At least, not something this serious. Bullies at school, a little brother driving you mad, a cute guy asked you out and what do you wear, yeah we can help you with that stuff.
hugs.gif
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Maybe, maybe not. When you ask questions from a group, any group, chances are at least some of the members have had similar experiences and have been there, done that. The things they did that helped them through a similar situation might help the OP. Your counseling suggestion is an excellent one. I would not be a bit surprised if mother refuses to go, though. Mine wouldn't but I went without her. It helped a lot. Until I went to counseling, I thought everything was all my fault. It was nice to find out it wasn't.
 
I think you should have a talk with your mom and tell her how you feel! right from the beginning tell her this is serious and she is not to get mad or yell.

Tell her you feel she hates you and that just may be the wake up call she needs. Pick a time when she is in a better mood though.
 
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