After raising some laying hens, and realizing what nifty animal chickens were, I decided that I either had to stop eating chicken or start raising my own meat birds, because what I heard about the living conditions and slaughtering conditions of most of the meat we purchase in grocery stores is pretty horrifying. So, last summer I purchased 35 day old Freedom Rangers. My theory was that if I purchased enough chicks, I wouldn't be able to tell them appart and/or name them and would be able to hold myself a bit more distant from them since the goal was to butcher them myself. I did have to keep myself from standing and watching them play when they were little, and there is enough variation in Freedom Rangers that I was still able to tell some of them appart and get to know some personality differences between them, which made it a bit more difficult. However, I think it is healthy to have a respectful relatioship with what ends up on your family's table.
While the actual killing was the worst part for me, the butchering wasn't really bad at all.
I actually find that I enjoy eating the chickens I've raised and processed more than I enjoy store purchased chicken. I think it is because I don't want anything to be wasted or unappreciated. This is in part because I want every chicken I serve my family to be absolutly delicious, because I want to convince my husband that this was a worth while enterprise, and something he's willing to let me do again. (we had a dramatic summer which included having to evacuate our property for 9 days due to the Waldo Canyon fire with 43 chickens, 2 dogs, a cat and three children and he has said "never again" to meat chickens) So I hunt out great chicken recipies, I pay attention to every part of the process, so the chicken is perfectly done. I then make things like pot pies or chicken soups with what is left from the Sunday dinner roast chicken and have stock frozen in 2 cup baggies for all our other cooking. So when I'm eating them, I have not only the pride and enjoyment of a tasty meal, I have the pride of knowing I DID THIS! I raised these chickens, I kept them safe from the fire, I treated them with gentleness and respect and I had the courage to do something emotionally difficult in order to feed my family a healthier, more ethical product.