Am I being childish? OK I am, but how would you feel?

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

My MIL is old school farm girl. I am city chick, this is all new to me, but I am trying. The one thing they haven't had since MIL was a kid, is chickens. So DH say he wants to try and I agree. My kids are thrilled and very excited that we have an animal granma Doesn't have. Three days after we get ours one of the cousins turns up with ten chickens!

I was angry, I felt like they were stealing the thunder of a six year old. Petty but its how I felt. But, that is nothing compared to how I feel now when the cousin is making snide comments to us because two of our chickens died.

I just feel like this was going to be my kids experiment and learning opportunity and it has been largely taken away. We didn't get the chance to learn on our own without constant reminders of how they are doing better at it because their chicks didn't die and their coop is nicer than ours.....

Am I really just being petty, or are they?

 

[Robin L]

My best advise is just ignore them. I live VERY close to my ILs and after lots of "advice" and tears I learned just to ignore them. I dont think there is anyone here that has not lost some chicks (I know I have and Im no expert) I really hope this helps.

 

[LoneCowboy]

Maybe a little petty by the worlds views, but that's how you feel. I can TOTALLY understand that!

Get an incubator and hatch your own. Then rub their noses in it that you hatched your own.

Why did your chickens die? Everybody makes mistakes in the learning process. You will make yours and they will make theirs. Just make sure yours don't get publized to the family. Find the positives about your situation and build those up to your son so he feels good about it. But don't make it a family competion. It will lose is fun.

 

[Acre of Blessings]

I love my hubby's in-law's.

 

[Frogdogtimestwo]

I feel your pain about the situation...My in-laws are the same way. If we buy a new truck they buy bigger/better. We buy a house with acreage, same. We talk about getting back into horses they buy a colt (Oh and better leave it a stud) YIKES. "Cause that is how we did it when we were kids" and expect me to let the kids ride it, NOT. It has come down to the point that we no longer share in our joy of getting something new and keep it to ourselves. It took 2 months before the kids let it slip that we had chickens, now they are building a coop. I have come to the conclusion that they think we are brilliant with ideas and try really hard to smile and love them for the kind generous people they really can be and not think about all the stuff that drives us nuts about them or we will just resent them and miss all the good that comes with the bad. Hope you find a medium that works for you

 

[Davaroo]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

My MIL is old school farm girl. I am city chick, this is all new to me, but I am trying. The one thing they haven't had since MIL was a kid, is chickens. So DH say he wants to try and I agree. My kids are thrilled and very excited that we have an animal granma Doesn't have. Three days after we get ours one of the cousins turns up with ten chickens!

I was angry, I felt like they were stealing the thunder of a six year old. Petty but its how I felt. But, that is nothing compared to how I feel now when the cousin is making snide comments to us because two of our chickens died.

I just feel like this was going to be my kids experiment and learning opportunity and it has been largely taken away. We didn't get the chance to learn on our own without constant reminders of how they are doing better at it because their chicks didn't die and their coop is nicer than ours.....

Am I really just being petty, or are they?

It could be you spurred them, "inspired them" if you prefer. Often people do what another has done, only because it was brought into their view by the other.

Are you overly sensitive? Probably. It can be like that among families. Be grateful you have a family. Just be a good steward to your birds and stay the course.​

 

[DouglasPeeps]

Don't lose sight of why you started this in the first place. I would refocus on that. If you are focused on the negative, then your children will be as well. Don't let them steal your joy! Raising chicks/chickens is a wonderful experience. Someone will always have a better coop, better ways of raising chickens, etc., While suggestions are great, you need to find what works for your family. This is a precious time, don't waste it being focused on them.

If they weren't family, I would tell you to stay away from them but..........

If it makes you feel better I lost 14 chickens in the first 3 days of their arrival! But I now have 32 hens and about a third of them have just started to lay! The anticipation and joy of getting eggs is more fun then getting the chicks. So be encouraged and enjoy this time!

 

[TheMartianChick]

Ignore them...

If they haven't lost any (yet) then they have just gotten lucky. Chickens don't care about how "pretty" their coop is. It just needs to be safe and strong. If they got chickens just to keep pace with your family then, before long, the novelty of having chickens will wear off for them and they will be begging you to take them off of their hands. They'll probably throw in the coop for free!

 

[Robin L]

Quote:

 

[Judymae]

When we first moved out here to the country we thought and thought about buying a horse. We really wanted our 2 (at the time, now 3) kiddos to have the experience of raising and grooming and riding and all of that. Well we had to wait until we could financially afford to buy one. Plus we had to build some sort of shelter. My MIL came over one nite and said she would pay for half the barn if she could buy our nephew (her daughter's 2 yr old son) a horse and keep him HERE. Not buy our kids one but our nephew!! I told her if they wanted a horse then they could buy a house out in the country on some land or they could pay to stable it. But I would not allow them to keep a horse at our house when we couldn't afford to buy one. My SIL didn't want her son to have a horse I found out later. It was my MIL who wanted her 'other' grandson to have one first. It's been that way the whole time we've had kids. If we bought ours something then my MIL would buy the same thing or better for our nephew. Mind you, my SIL and BIL both work and have much nicer stuff than us. I'm a SAHM that clips coupons to survive. We really have to save up for major purchases. It use to really make me mad that she would just go buy stuff for the nephew. Now my MIL has passed away and our nephew doesn't get anything!!! My SIL and BIL can't even use their airconditioning or heat in their house because they are not used to paying their own bills and bought a house way over their needs because Mommy dearest was helping them too much. Now they suffer while we are doing better!!


So after that Loooooong story I just have to tell ya I totally understand!!