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That is really funny!
This is mine. although its really long
(its really old too lol)
Stargate SG-1 presents:
Evil Pilsburry Dough Boy
Well it was another normal day at the SGC. Jack was at his desk writing up some reports on the last 24 hours of off world events. While writing his last report on PXY887, an off world wormhole comes in sounding off the alarm. Heading to the gate room, He meets up with Teal'c.
When they get there they find B'all standing at the end of the gate ramp. Luckly it is only a holagram. B'all looks very mad from the passed encounter with Jack. Jack looking very perplexed,"What the 4ell do you want!". B'all,"Jack, you have under estimated my true power."
Jack,"Oh really!, and what would that be." B'all getting even more p1ssed,"Ha!", Then dissapears.
Daniel standing over head speaks on the intercom,"What was that about?"
Jack,"Dunno". Daniel,"But I don't think it is good!". Jack,"I don't think that for sure!"(with a smirk)-
Then turns away. Teal'c standing there, raises his eyebrow then says"indeed".
After that big talk with B'all Jack is getting prepared for the worst. Just incase, but he does not think
so. Sam comes into Jacks office,"I herd what happened.". Jack,"Yup". Sam,"So?". Jack,"So?"
Jack starting to fall asleep."Oh!, you mean that whole B'all thingy?. Yeah, Well it went well. Talking to a Goul'd. Yeah!". Sam looking confused,"Are you okay sir?".
Jack still falling asleep at the desk,"Yeah why?". Sam,"Well sir,(sigh)your elbow is in your lunch, and instead of writing with the lead end of the pencil you are using the eraser end."
Jack looking at his elbow,sighs then rubs his face and leaves. Going down the hallway heading to the brig to get shut eye runs into Daniel. Daniel all upset,"I think B'all was being serious."
Jack not really remembering,"Yeah, and why would you come to that conclusion"
Daniel," Well for one thing, B'all has attacked our planet before and tried to bring it to distruction!". Jack,"Yeah, well he tried and it didn't work!". Daniel,"Well he might just try it bigger and better this time". Jack with a smirk,"Well, I doubt that unless..(with a pause) He befriends all the Goul'd in the entire galaxy, won't that be a laugh!".
The alarm goes off again. Jack and Daniel head to the gate room. Guess who they see AGAIN!
B'all! Standing there in his Golden cape. With a smile from ear to ear says, "I know that you would not take me seriosley, but now you will". Even before Jack could say anything he dissapears from the room. Daniel freaked and Jack goin nutty. Jack,"Now I am getting p1ssed, He could give us a warning before he barges in like that!" Daniel,"He did!, but not for the barging part!"
3DAYS LATER
An unsispected worm whole comes in. Jack comes into the gate room.
Sam comes in after him. And all of a sudden a little dough person comes through the gate. Wearing a little scarf and hat.Waives at them. Evil dough boy,"I am eeeee-vellll".
Jack with a big smirk, starts to laugh. Sam,"Sir!, that is not funny". Teal'c and Daniel hearing the alarms run to get to the gate room. After Daniel and Teal'c noticing the yummy dough person. Daniel,"What the 4ell is that saposed to be?" Jack waiving his hands around. Daniel looks at Sam. Sam,"It looks like dinner!". Teal'c,"Indeed". Teal'c looking for his staff weapon, and gets it ready to fire. Sam,"Wait!, maybe it is friendly!". Sam looking at it says"Hello, What is your name, I..We will not hurt you" Evil dough boy, "eeeee-vellll!". Sam,"Well that answers that!"
Jack,"Keep your guns on him, he maybe dangerouse, or maybe he is my dinner, I have dibs first!". Sam,"Sir!". Jack,"I am not changing my mind, he is my dinner!" Sam,"No!, not that, the killing it part". Jack,"Yeah, why?". Sam,"the eating it or killing it..sir?". Jack,"I want to pick both, can I pick...both?". Sam,"NO!". Jack,"OH DARN IT!, I so wanted it to be both".
Sam"We have to be seriouse!". Jack,"WHAT!". Sam,"We can't kill it yet, we need to question it and see why it is here". Jack,"How many times do I have to say dinner!!!! DINNER!!!".
Sam,sigh. Jack,"You can question it, but only if it is under gaurd". Sam,"Thank you sir".
Jack going back to his office. The alarm goes off again. Jack,"OK, That dough boy would probably taste better cooked and used in spaghetti, GOD, I am so hungry". Heading to the gate room. B'all shows up again. B'all,"How is my little friend?". Jack,"Oh, that is where IT came from"
B'all,"Oh yes he is a very good friend of mine". B'all smirking. B'all,"He is also known as the EVIL
dough boy". Jack,"Know wonder IT kept using that word, every time It said it, thinking of IT being cooked in the oven ON HIGH!". B'all,"That would not be a good idea, you would not believe me anyway!". B'all with an evil smile. Jack,"Are you daring me?,what a joke!" B'all laughs and leaves.
After a few days of Sams questioning:
The only thing Sam got out of him is that he is evil but nothing else.
So now it is Jacks turn on his Questioning. Jack comes to the door and asks permission to come in. Walks in and sits down. On the other side of the table sits the dough boy. Jack,"So how you doin'?". Nothing comes out of dough boy, total silence. Jack,"So...,I herd you are evil". Silence from dough boy. Jack,"HELLO,Are there any lights on in that.. that brain of yours!?, what am I kiddin', you are made of dough!" Dough boy,"Do you see beyond my dough?". Jack,"NO!". Dough boy, silence. Jack, "I am sorry did I HURT your feelings!". One tear comes out of Dough boy.
One day later it goes on. And Nothin!
Another day.
The dough boy finally starts to show his colors and goes bonkers.
Jack talking to Teal'c. Jack,"HEY, T., how is it going?". Teal'c,"The little dough man is going fruity". Jack,"Really, What Flavor?". Teal'c,"I think it would have to be...cherry". Jack,"WOW,awsome pick T. I have been graving cherry jello or even pie". Jack with a wide grin.
Teal'c,"Indeed O'niell, I so have been craving PIE". Jack,"Want to join me in the cafeteria?". Teal'c fallowing behind.
The same day:
Jack trys again on this dough boy. Jack,"How are you little man?". Dough boy,"I hurd I was called fruity!?". Jack,"What flavor?". Dough boy,"I will kill you". Jack,"Well arn't you a real tart!"
Teal'c in the same room with them gets ready to shoot his staff weapon. Jack holding up his hand giving the sighn to Teal'c that it is ok. Jack,"Why". Dough boy,"Because that is what I do best, and you humans kill my kind every day for your consumption!". Jack,"You also taste good with butter!". Dough Boy,"B'all dispises you!". Jack,"Wow,cool!".
Jack noticing how annoying he is,decideds to ship him off world and bury the gate.
So that is what he does, Jack even takes him to the gate himself. With Teal'c there and armed gaurds. It should be a piece of pie,oh sorry cake. On the way to the other side the dough boy goes bazerk and attacks Jack. Teal'c fires his staff weapon. And the dough boy blows up into little mini mes. The only thing that can kill them now is a massive amount of butter. Will the base or the world have enough butter? For the conclusion, check back when I think of something.
The Conclusion:
Daniel and Sam finnaly get to the gate room, noticing it has been locked. Fear has sprung between them. They head to the floor ahead that looks over the gate room. Sam trying to talk on the intercom. Sam,"SIR!, What is happening!". Jack,"It seems that he has multiplied!". Sam,"What do I do?". Jack,"Why are you asking me?,you are better at that then I am!". Sam,"I will think of something!". Daniel,"Wait,Sam". Sam,"what!". Daniel,"Well I may have an idea!". Sam,"Well spit it out,we are running out of time!". Daniel,"I see that!". slight pause. Daniel,"Won't butter make them soggy?". Sam,"Yes,but only if they are cooked,see it is like putting bread in butter". Daniel,"Where do we find an oven?". Sam,"I don't know!".
Daniel talking on the intercom. Daniel,"Jack,Where can we find a big oven?". Jack,"Rippley's"
Daniel,"Do you also think they specialize in lots of butter too?". Jack,"Yes,I watched an episode of people doing butter sculpters!". Jack,"yeah,why,got any ideas?". Daniel,"Yes, Going to cook them then saturate them in loads of butter?". Jack,"THEN DO IT!". Daniel,"Ok Sam, lets get cookin' ". After all there hard work they finally get to test the product. Sam on the intercom.
Sam,"Ok sir, here it goes, It is going to get a little hot in there!". Jack,"Well I am glad I always bring sunscreen and sun glasses!". Teal'c"Indeed". Daniel,"5 4 3 2 HEAT!". Heats 350 degrees for one minute. Sam,"Did we burn them!?" Daniel,"The dough boy...boys or all the people?"
Sam,"What do you think?". Daniel on the intercom. Daniel,"Jack,Teal'c,If you can hear me, I am going to drown them in the butter!". Jack,"I am glad I am wearing my swiming suit!". Daniel"ok,hear it goes". slight pause. Daniel,"5 4 3 2 BUTTER!!!!". Jack,"Kind of wished I had some popcorn for this butter". Teal'c,"Indeed,I so want popcorn".
After all there hard work and efforts, The dough boy...boys are destroyed and saturated with butter. Jack,"Wow!,It worked". Teal'c,"What shall we do with all this melted butter?".
Jack,"Invite all the people from the movie theatres for REALLY butterey popcorn, YUM!".
Teal'c"Indeed".
This is mine. although its really long
(its really old too lol)
Stargate SG-1 presents:
Evil Pilsburry Dough Boy
Well it was another normal day at the SGC. Jack was at his desk writing up some reports on the last 24 hours of off world events. While writing his last report on PXY887, an off world wormhole comes in sounding off the alarm. Heading to the gate room, He meets up with Teal'c.
When they get there they find B'all standing at the end of the gate ramp. Luckly it is only a holagram. B'all looks very mad from the passed encounter with Jack. Jack looking very perplexed,"What the 4ell do you want!". B'all,"Jack, you have under estimated my true power."
Jack,"Oh really!, and what would that be." B'all getting even more p1ssed,"Ha!", Then dissapears.
Daniel standing over head speaks on the intercom,"What was that about?"
Jack,"Dunno". Daniel,"But I don't think it is good!". Jack,"I don't think that for sure!"(with a smirk)-
Then turns away. Teal'c standing there, raises his eyebrow then says"indeed".
After that big talk with B'all Jack is getting prepared for the worst. Just incase, but he does not think
so. Sam comes into Jacks office,"I herd what happened.". Jack,"Yup". Sam,"So?". Jack,"So?"
Jack starting to fall asleep."Oh!, you mean that whole B'all thingy?. Yeah, Well it went well. Talking to a Goul'd. Yeah!". Sam looking confused,"Are you okay sir?".
Jack still falling asleep at the desk,"Yeah why?". Sam,"Well sir,(sigh)your elbow is in your lunch, and instead of writing with the lead end of the pencil you are using the eraser end."
Jack looking at his elbow,sighs then rubs his face and leaves. Going down the hallway heading to the brig to get shut eye runs into Daniel. Daniel all upset,"I think B'all was being serious."
Jack not really remembering,"Yeah, and why would you come to that conclusion"
Daniel," Well for one thing, B'all has attacked our planet before and tried to bring it to distruction!". Jack,"Yeah, well he tried and it didn't work!". Daniel,"Well he might just try it bigger and better this time". Jack with a smirk,"Well, I doubt that unless..(with a pause) He befriends all the Goul'd in the entire galaxy, won't that be a laugh!".
The alarm goes off again. Jack and Daniel head to the gate room. Guess who they see AGAIN!
B'all! Standing there in his Golden cape. With a smile from ear to ear says, "I know that you would not take me seriosley, but now you will". Even before Jack could say anything he dissapears from the room. Daniel freaked and Jack goin nutty. Jack,"Now I am getting p1ssed, He could give us a warning before he barges in like that!" Daniel,"He did!, but not for the barging part!"
3DAYS LATER
An unsispected worm whole comes in. Jack comes into the gate room.
Sam comes in after him. And all of a sudden a little dough person comes through the gate. Wearing a little scarf and hat.Waives at them. Evil dough boy,"I am eeeee-vellll".
Jack with a big smirk, starts to laugh. Sam,"Sir!, that is not funny". Teal'c and Daniel hearing the alarms run to get to the gate room. After Daniel and Teal'c noticing the yummy dough person. Daniel,"What the 4ell is that saposed to be?" Jack waiving his hands around. Daniel looks at Sam. Sam,"It looks like dinner!". Teal'c,"Indeed". Teal'c looking for his staff weapon, and gets it ready to fire. Sam,"Wait!, maybe it is friendly!". Sam looking at it says"Hello, What is your name, I..We will not hurt you" Evil dough boy, "eeeee-vellll!". Sam,"Well that answers that!"
Jack,"Keep your guns on him, he maybe dangerouse, or maybe he is my dinner, I have dibs first!". Sam,"Sir!". Jack,"I am not changing my mind, he is my dinner!" Sam,"No!, not that, the killing it part". Jack,"Yeah, why?". Sam,"the eating it or killing it..sir?". Jack,"I want to pick both, can I pick...both?". Sam,"NO!". Jack,"OH DARN IT!, I so wanted it to be both".
Sam"We have to be seriouse!". Jack,"WHAT!". Sam,"We can't kill it yet, we need to question it and see why it is here". Jack,"How many times do I have to say dinner!!!! DINNER!!!".
Sam,sigh. Jack,"You can question it, but only if it is under gaurd". Sam,"Thank you sir".
Jack going back to his office. The alarm goes off again. Jack,"OK, That dough boy would probably taste better cooked and used in spaghetti, GOD, I am so hungry". Heading to the gate room. B'all shows up again. B'all,"How is my little friend?". Jack,"Oh, that is where IT came from"
B'all,"Oh yes he is a very good friend of mine". B'all smirking. B'all,"He is also known as the EVIL
dough boy". Jack,"Know wonder IT kept using that word, every time It said it, thinking of IT being cooked in the oven ON HIGH!". B'all,"That would not be a good idea, you would not believe me anyway!". B'all with an evil smile. Jack,"Are you daring me?,what a joke!" B'all laughs and leaves.
After a few days of Sams questioning:
The only thing Sam got out of him is that he is evil but nothing else.
So now it is Jacks turn on his Questioning. Jack comes to the door and asks permission to come in. Walks in and sits down. On the other side of the table sits the dough boy. Jack,"So how you doin'?". Nothing comes out of dough boy, total silence. Jack,"So...,I herd you are evil". Silence from dough boy. Jack,"HELLO,Are there any lights on in that.. that brain of yours!?, what am I kiddin', you are made of dough!" Dough boy,"Do you see beyond my dough?". Jack,"NO!". Dough boy, silence. Jack, "I am sorry did I HURT your feelings!". One tear comes out of Dough boy.
One day later it goes on. And Nothin!
Another day.
The dough boy finally starts to show his colors and goes bonkers.
Jack talking to Teal'c. Jack,"HEY, T., how is it going?". Teal'c,"The little dough man is going fruity". Jack,"Really, What Flavor?". Teal'c,"I think it would have to be...cherry". Jack,"WOW,awsome pick T. I have been graving cherry jello or even pie". Jack with a wide grin.
Teal'c,"Indeed O'niell, I so have been craving PIE". Jack,"Want to join me in the cafeteria?". Teal'c fallowing behind.
The same day:
Jack trys again on this dough boy. Jack,"How are you little man?". Dough boy,"I hurd I was called fruity!?". Jack,"What flavor?". Dough boy,"I will kill you". Jack,"Well arn't you a real tart!"
Teal'c in the same room with them gets ready to shoot his staff weapon. Jack holding up his hand giving the sighn to Teal'c that it is ok. Jack,"Why". Dough boy,"Because that is what I do best, and you humans kill my kind every day for your consumption!". Jack,"You also taste good with butter!". Dough Boy,"B'all dispises you!". Jack,"Wow,cool!".
Jack noticing how annoying he is,decideds to ship him off world and bury the gate.
So that is what he does, Jack even takes him to the gate himself. With Teal'c there and armed gaurds. It should be a piece of pie,oh sorry cake. On the way to the other side the dough boy goes bazerk and attacks Jack. Teal'c fires his staff weapon. And the dough boy blows up into little mini mes. The only thing that can kill them now is a massive amount of butter. Will the base or the world have enough butter? For the conclusion, check back when I think of something.
The Conclusion:
Daniel and Sam finnaly get to the gate room, noticing it has been locked. Fear has sprung between them. They head to the floor ahead that looks over the gate room. Sam trying to talk on the intercom. Sam,"SIR!, What is happening!". Jack,"It seems that he has multiplied!". Sam,"What do I do?". Jack,"Why are you asking me?,you are better at that then I am!". Sam,"I will think of something!". Daniel,"Wait,Sam". Sam,"what!". Daniel,"Well I may have an idea!". Sam,"Well spit it out,we are running out of time!". Daniel,"I see that!". slight pause. Daniel,"Won't butter make them soggy?". Sam,"Yes,but only if they are cooked,see it is like putting bread in butter". Daniel,"Where do we find an oven?". Sam,"I don't know!".
Daniel talking on the intercom. Daniel,"Jack,Where can we find a big oven?". Jack,"Rippley's"
Daniel,"Do you also think they specialize in lots of butter too?". Jack,"Yes,I watched an episode of people doing butter sculpters!". Jack,"yeah,why,got any ideas?". Daniel,"Yes, Going to cook them then saturate them in loads of butter?". Jack,"THEN DO IT!". Daniel,"Ok Sam, lets get cookin' ". After all there hard work they finally get to test the product. Sam on the intercom.
Sam,"Ok sir, here it goes, It is going to get a little hot in there!". Jack,"Well I am glad I always bring sunscreen and sun glasses!". Teal'c"Indeed". Daniel,"5 4 3 2 HEAT!". Heats 350 degrees for one minute. Sam,"Did we burn them!?" Daniel,"The dough boy...boys or all the people?"
Sam,"What do you think?". Daniel on the intercom. Daniel,"Jack,Teal'c,If you can hear me, I am going to drown them in the butter!". Jack,"I am glad I am wearing my swiming suit!". Daniel"ok,hear it goes". slight pause. Daniel,"5 4 3 2 BUTTER!!!!". Jack,"Kind of wished I had some popcorn for this butter". Teal'c,"Indeed,I so want popcorn".
After all there hard work and efforts, The dough boy...boys are destroyed and saturated with butter. Jack,"Wow!,It worked". Teal'c,"What shall we do with all this melted butter?".
Jack,"Invite all the people from the movie theatres for REALLY butterey popcorn, YUM!".
Teal'c"Indeed".
That was HILARIOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was the Pillsbury Doughboy for Halloween one year. Very funny joke!
I thought he actuually died at first, lol.
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