Guilt and sadness first cull

[Sally PB]

I can't say it any better than the others who have posted here. But yes, you did the right thing.

I will suggest burying your girl under a favorite flower bush or tree. Her body will nourish the soil and nearby plants. I did that with two (mean) cockerels I had to cull, and I thank them for their contribution to the soil.

 

[Brooks_]

I think the only thing to add is that sadness can be felt, but there is nothing to feel guilty about.

 

[crazychick87]

Thank you everyone. I’m feeling a little better. Still upset but less guilty. Watching her suffering was heart breaking
Thank you for all your kind words xx

 

[crazychick87]

Here’s to my beautiful nosy chicken. Always at my side getting under my feet and wanting to sit on a lap. Best pain in the bum ever

 

[humblehillsfarm]

It will pass. I botched my first and second cull as well, but I was killing for the purpose of butchering. The first one really traumatized me and I was snottty crying the entire time I was plucking the bird. Took me four days to eat it. However as time went on the feelings mellowed out.

I had a neighbor do cervical dislocation on one of my favorite pet hens. He did a perfect job and I cried for days over her, too, but the grief was for that of a pet. I would say your grief is twofold. Guilt over the mishap and of course, you loved her so much. You did the right thing. Time really does heal wounds and you had to learn at some point. Next time you’ll know to pull hard and quick.

 

[Sequel]

You did what was best for her even though it was painful for you. That is courage!

 

[humblehillsfarm]

You did what was best for her even though it was painful for you. That is courage!

Courage. I like that way of looking at it. Thank you.

 

[Sequel]

Courage. I like that way of looking at it. Thank you.m

You’re certainly welcome! I think after the snotty crying you can be sure you are neither a sociopath or a psychopath so there’s that too! I hope @crazychick87 feels better soon!

 

[crazychick87]

You’re certainly welcome! I think after the snotty crying you can be sure you are neither a sociopath or a psychopath so there’s that too! I hope @crazychick87 feels better soon!

I like that way of looking at it thank you!
I had looked into so much before we got our hens last year including culling, I always thought I couldn’t do it and I’d take them to the vets but seeing her like that I felt I had no choice, I felt it would be far worse to leave her suffering for my own selfishness really.
I thought I’d done it hard enough and I heard her neck go but she was huge and ended up doing it again very quickly. I think that was the hardest bit for me, thinking I’d not done it and her suffering more because of me. I’m not going to give away the others though as I felt this morning. We have 3 hens now, one has 4 chicks, another sat on a few eggs and that sent the third one into broody mode but I’m trying to break her out of it. I guess with the hen I culled she just had the sweetest nature of them all and not that it wouldn’t be hard if it was the others but we felt so bonded with her, she always wanted a lap to sit on, always followed me around etc. It just totally sucks! But she’s not suffering now which is, above all else, the most important thing I think.

 

[Brooks_]

But she’s not suffering now which is, above all else, the most important thing I think.

It is.