First this is just a funny after my Beautiful Wife got all over my back for deleting her EBay watched Item, it had ended!
And I do hope Im posting in the right place here.
The Guy's Rules
(I wish this was my own work)
We always hear "THE RULES" from the Female side. Now here are the Rules from the Male Side.
These are our Rules! Please do note that they are all numbered "1" on purpose!
1. Men are not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the Toilet seat. Your're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You dont ever hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday Sports. Its like the Full Moon or the Changing of the Tides.
Let it Be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think that way.
1. Crying is Blackmail
1. Ask us for what you want. Lets be clear on this one.
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
1. Yes and No are PERFECTLY acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to use with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Symppathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A Headache that lasts 17 months is a PROBLEM!
See a Doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In Fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like Victoia's Secret girl's, DONT expect us to act like Soap Opera guy's.
1. If you think your fat, you probably are.
Dont ask us.
1. If somthing we said can be interpreted 2 way's and 1 of the way's makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER ONE.
1. You can either ask us to do somthing or tell us want it done.
NOT BOTH
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (My favorite)
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example is a fruit, not ! a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing"
We will act like nothing is wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Baseball, the Shootgun News or Football.
1. You have enough Clothes.
1. You have to many shoes.
1. I am in shape.
ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank you reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really dont't mind that? It's like camping.
And I do hope Im posting in the right place here.
The Guy's Rules
(I wish this was my own work)
We always hear "THE RULES" from the Female side. Now here are the Rules from the Male Side.
These are our Rules! Please do note that they are all numbered "1" on purpose!
1. Men are not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the Toilet seat. Your're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You dont ever hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday Sports. Its like the Full Moon or the Changing of the Tides.
Let it Be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think that way.
1. Crying is Blackmail
1. Ask us for what you want. Lets be clear on this one.
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
1. Yes and No are PERFECTLY acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to use with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Symppathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A Headache that lasts 17 months is a PROBLEM!
See a Doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In Fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like Victoia's Secret girl's, DONT expect us to act like Soap Opera guy's.
1. If you think your fat, you probably are.
Dont ask us.
1. If somthing we said can be interpreted 2 way's and 1 of the way's makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER ONE.
1. You can either ask us to do somthing or tell us want it done.
NOT BOTH
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (My favorite)
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example is a fruit, not ! a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing"
We will act like nothing is wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Baseball, the Shootgun News or Football.
1. You have enough Clothes.
1. You have to many shoes.
1. I am in shape.
ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank you reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really dont't mind that? It's like camping.
