Kids and processing//death etc

[Kkaysue]

Hello. Looking for advice from people who’ve been doing this for a while with kids. My daughter is two and although she won’t be asking questions or understanding death for a couple years yet, I took it for granted that this would be a relatively easy concept but we processed our turkeys a couple of days ago and I find that I’m having a difficult time (I loved my boys) and realized how naive I was to think this would be an easy concept for a 3/4 year old Looking for advice, dos and donts. Thanks in advance. - Confused in AK

 

[NatJ]

My daughter is two and although she won’t be asking questions or understanding death for a couple years yet

You might be surprised at what things a child will understand at what age.

I remember reading the book "Little House in the Big Woods," by Laura Ingalls Wilder aloud, and having a rather precocious 2-year-old come to me afterward for advice on butchering a teddy bear. We ended up with a plastic knife, and discussions like, "after it's dead, you cut off the parts you don't want to eat. That would be the head and the feet and..." That child wasn't much interested in the killing, just the details of how an animal would be turned into food. But I'm sure the child was under 3, had been listening and understanding the story, and "butchered" that teddy bear regularly for quite a while. I don't think that child properly understood about death, but they definitely were interested in how an animal gets turned into food.

I took it for granted that this would be a relatively easy concept but we processed our turkeys a couple of days ago and I find that I’m having a difficult time (I loved my boys) and realized how naive I was to think this would be an easy concept for a 3/4 year old Looking for advice, dos and donts.

Since butchering doesn't bother me too much, I've been able to treat it like many other things, just one more part of the way life is. If I don't make a big deal about cleaning the coop or butchering chickens, a child will tend to assume the two things are equally important (or unimportant.)

I think my biggest tip would be to make it clear from the beginning, if the child shows any interest in the birds: "these cute little chicks will grow into big chickens, and then we will eat them and they will taste good." That means the child doesn't feel shocked or betrayed later, when it really happens. It's similar to many other discussions you might have with a child about what will happen-- "when these chicks grow up, they will lay eggs for us to eat" or "when this little plant grows into a big cabbage, we will eat it" or "first I put the cereal in the bowl, then I put in the milk, then you eat it" or "tomorrow we will go to the dentist, and he will look at your teeth." You just bring it up as it comes up, and they either discuss it or ignore it, depending on whether it interests them at the time.

If you read books aloud, you can choose some that include butchering animals as a normal thing, not a big deal.

I've had other times when a child wanted to watch the butchering, and thought it was really neat how the intestines wiggle and squiggle around (if you are fast enough about opening the animal up after it's dead, the internal organs may still be moving.)

I've also seen several children that were a bit curious, watched briefly, and then got bored and ran off to do something else. Among children who aren't upset, I think that is probably the most common reaction.

I've never dealt with a child who was very upset, but that may just be a coincidence.

 

[JacinLarkwell]

I think the younger you start, the better. For example, I didn't process birds until I was like 19. I was never there for anything more than looking at a pelt after a deer was skinned or helping make dinner from store meat. I struggle with the main act now. Once it's over, it's not as painful for me, but that quick act is the worst part for me.

And then I see other families that, while maybe the children are too young to safely help, they know that Mr. Rooster is going to become tomorrow's dinner. They make the connection and while occasionally they're upset because they liked that particular bird, they seem to handle it more matter of factly than emotionally like I do.

 

[Hedgeland Farms]

Like stated previously, start right away with explaining what the birds are for. When we got meat birds we talked abt how we were planning on processing the birds and when. My youngest is 7, so a bit older than yours, but I did find this worked well for us and he was excited abt eating the meat. We even called the birds little nuggets.

 

[NatJ]

I think the younger you start, the better. For example, I didn't process birds until I was like 19. I was never there for anything more than looking at a pelt after a deer was skinned or helping make dinner from store meat. I struggle with the main act now. Once it's over, it's not as painful for me, but that quick act is the worst part for me.

And then I see other families that, while maybe the children are too young to safely help, they know that Mr. Rooster is going to become tomorrow's dinner. They make the connection and while occasionally they're upset because they liked that particular bird, they seem to handle it more matter of factly than emotionally like I do.

Good point.

I was probably about 8 years old when my family got their first chickens (Cornish Cross, followed by layers the next year.) And my Mom made it very clear from day one that these chickens were going to be eaten.

 

[BirdsBeesTrees]

I was with my grandpa for the day, and he shot some pheasants for supper. I was in the pickup truck, but I saw him load the dead birds into the back. I was very young around 5 or 6, at the time I cried because I didn't know why my hero would kill those birds. He told me it was so he could have food to eat. Although I was sad it made the sting go away.

The first time I was involved in butchering I was around 11-12. My dad brought the birds to be processed to the picnic table already dead. I figured they were already dead, so it was no big deal.

My dad/uncles (and now husband) are deer hunters. We are overrun with deer, and they cause extensive damage to crops and vehicles when you hit them. I still find it sad, but necessary. Same with our cows and pigs we butcher.

It does help if you don't make pets out of butcher animals and after they are dead, you go in with the attitude of not wasting valuable food.

 

[sourland]

It does help if you don't make pets out of butcher animals and after they are dead, you go in with the attitude of not wasting valuable food.

This is how I was raised, and how we raised our kids. Pets were allowed, had names and lifetime rights. Everything else was for food - treated humanely, but their purpose was destined.

 

[Kkaysue]

Thank you so much for the responses! I see now that I got way too close to the turkeys. I’m so new to all this and wasn’t raised owning/processing or even hunting or anything. I also love just being really matter of fact with her right from the start! I guess I hadn’t thought of that, just telling her that even though they are super cute now, eventually they will be big and they will be food. Seriously, thanks for all the replies. I had really had myself worried

 

[sourland]

Thank you so much for the responses! I see now that I got way too close to the turkeys.

Turkeys are tough because they are so personable that it can be difficult trying not to like them. I could never raise/butcher pigs for similar reasons.

 

[TheOgdensmenagerie]

A little late to the convo but 100% agree with everyone else. As a kid my Grandparents raised cattle. They always had farm raised beef. While we never saw the processing because Grandpa took them to the butcher for all that, Grandpa was very open about where the beef came from and not to get attached. He would even make jokes at the dinner table "That's Rosie you're eating" -Maybe don't do that part lol

Well now that I have kids of my own, we have also raised our own cows and other farm animals. It is made clear to my kiddos that we love them while they are here, treat them well, and then they become food to feed our family. We have never had any issues.
Be prepared during random meals questions will be asked though. My oldest daughter will out of the blue ask questions like "Was this the Bull". She isn't bothered by it just curious. I'll answer something along the lines of "yes, it is, doesn't it taste amazing? I think we did such a good job raising him." and she agrees but most of the time asks if I can leave out the veggies

I wish you luck!