Mother hen needs advice about cocky young roo

[Amanda]

My 17 year old son returned last night from a week away w/ my parents at a "wilderness ways" gathering. My parents told me they received many compliments on how helpful and nice my son is. So far today he has tested me to the point of me wanting to kick him out two times! He gets so stuborn (no clue where that comes from). After he gets some guiet time he does a good job of removing his head from his a$$, and says he is sorry. When do they stop pusing the limits? More importantly what can I do to keep from reacting like I'm going to explode? ugh!!!! he is a good kid and does not pull half of the crap I did as a kid, so I am thankful of that. I guess I just need new ideas on parenting this age. Thanks for reading.

 

[cookinmom]

I think they stop that mess at around 30....
It's called TESTOSTERONE! I feel for ya sister! It also might be called a week with the grandparents. He'll probably get back to his normal 17-yo self pretty soon. When mine gets like that I tell him, Boy, you're not gonna talk to me like that. I don't care how big you are, I'm still your mom, and you will show respect. He's a good kid so he calms down, like yours, and says sorry.

 

[rooster-red]

My 16 yo sounds very much like your son.
If he spends the weekend with Grandma or friends he comes back with a bit of an attitude just begging for an adjustment.
I've learned that instead of exploding on him if I lower my volume, enunciate every word clearly while looking him in the eye... it scares him way worse than if I go off on a tyrade.

He then pulls his head out of wherever and reality begins to set in quickly.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Shiver! Rooster-Red, that would scare me!!! Great idea!

I've heard from a number of preschooler parents that whispering to their children gets the kid's attention much faster than yelling. I wonder if you have the teenage equivalent.

 

[peepkeeper]

I have 3 grown kids, I've been through this. Remind yourself that this is temporary, pick your battles carefully, but when you do don't back down. Be careful to keep a hold on your temper while at the same time taking no nonsense. Once this passes, you don't want there to be bitter memories on anyone's side. You all will be fine.

 

[Amanda]

Thanks for the input. Sometimes I just need to know we are "normal". I had not thought about the g-parent visit/need time for adjustment. But I think that is it, even thou my rents are not easy on him, (they expect him to be helpful/polite, etc). I think he feels more independant n grown up when he is with them and is having a hard time adjusting when he is back w/ me. Both my rents have some health issues so he takes on an almost caregiver role when with them. The last two times he n I have been at my rents house he has behaved the same challenging way.
THANK YOU ALL for your input. I feel a better now that I feel like I have an insite to this. We do have a very good relationship when we are not butting heads. We have great communication, he feels comfortable talking about a lot of things, more than most kids. I think that makes it more frustrating when we fail at communication.

Amanda

 

[ozark hen]

We have raised five and sometimes I use to think it was God's way of getting us ready for them to leave the nest.

You have a very normal family. thank God he isn't into drugs or worse. He sounds very, very normal to me. Relax and stick to your guns. They will look for buttons to push, just don't over react if possible. Sometimes that is sooo hard. I like RoosterRed's method myself.