r1leyl0u
Chirping
Hi all 
This group has always been so kind and supportive to me. I don’t have anyone to talk to and no one around me would understand my pain.
To start off, I’m a beginner chicken keeper and I’ve only hatched three clutches of eggs, so I’m definitely still learning.
My second clutch hatched two chicks, one born on my birthday (10/14) and the other hatched (10/15).
Naturally, I thought my birthday chick would be my favorite! However I quickly fell in love with her sister, a black copper maran / RIR mix.
Midnight was her name, named after a black hen my dad lost tragically as a kid and for the time she hatched. And Midnight was my baby and best friend.
She was always a bit slower to grow and a bit more cautious than her sister, but she loved people. She loved to be held by me, she loved to be on my shoulder, and she loved to be with a human. She had the most intelligent and curious olive green eyes.
On December 15th, I found her laying on her side like she was unable to get up. She was so weak and couldn’t really eat, so I immediately brought her to my bedroom and started feeding her egg yolk, Nutri Drench, and water. I did this for days until she was finally able to stand again.
My dad and I decided to rename her “Dawn” as he worried he’d cursed her with her name.
She gained energy quickly, showing interest in her crumbles again and always trying to walk off of my bed. Her poop went from watery and bloody to solid and a normal color again. We treated her for coccidiosis and eventually we thought she was on the road to recovery.
It was unnaturally warm and sunny on Christmas day, so I brought her to sit with me in the sun outside while my dad finished up working on their coop. I noticed she had less energy than before but I though that she was just basking in the sun and Vitamin D.
The next day, I realized I was wrong.
She wouldn’t drink or eat any water and she was back to how she was at first, exhausted and dozing off throughout the day.
I had to go to work, and I knew something was wrong but I naively thought I’d be able to get back home and spend a couple hours with her before bed after work. I thought I could nurse her back to health like I did more than a week prior.
I got home and went straight to my room to hold her in my arms and try to feed her more Nutri Drench and water. I knew something was seriously wrong and she couldn’t hold her head up.
I only held her and loved on her for a few minutes, stroking her neck feathers and talking softly to her, before I saw her open her eyes one last time and look up at me.
I knew then that she was saying her goodbyes and taking my face in for the last time. Then her eyes shut and they didn’t open again.
I held her for five more minutes before I called my dad in to confirm if she was really gone.
I knew she was. I knew she’d passed after her eyes finally closed. I just didn’t want to believe it.
My baby died in my arms after I only held her for a few minutes. I held her body for an additional 15 minutes. I wasn’t ready to let her go.
I wasn’t prepared for how quickly her body went into rigor mortis. Despite that, I still couldn’t believe she was gone.
Even after my dad had dug the hole and she was buried under the tulip poplar, I couldn’t believe it. I was and still am so scared she was buried alive. I was so scared she was just asleep. Maybe it hurt less to imagine she was just sleeping.
Ive always been incredibly sensitive especially when it comes to animals, and I never handled loss well. Every animal I lose hurts just as much as the one before, but also in such a unique way because I had a different bond and relationship with every animal I’ve loved.
She was my baby. She loved me the most, she always wanted to be held, she was the sweetest chicken I’d ever met and she was still growing in the most beautiful auburn red feathers from her RIR daddy.
She had so much life to live, only a little older than two months. She would have been a great momma and I was so excited for her chocolate brown eggs.
I got so attached to her, never anticipating an early loss, so I wasn’t prepared at all for the pain. I loved that girl more than I thought I’d ever be able to love to a chicken, and that’s coming from someone who manages to love every little creature I meet.
She wasn’t supposed to die. She was supposed to live out a long life and then eventually retire and pass away from old age. She was supposed to be my full-grown shoulder chicken.
I just want my girl back. We have more hatching eggs coming soon and I keep hoping and praying she’ll come back to me in a healthier form.
I can’t accept she’s gone.
If you’ve read this far, please tell me, does it get easier? Does it ever get easier to lose a chicken? Does the pain go away?
I feel so much guilt for not spending enough time with her on her final day. I feel so guilty for not saving her. I feel like I failed her. She was never just a chicken, she had a soul, a brain, thoughts, emotions, moods, a personality. I wish I could have saved her.
She was my girl.
Midnight/Dawn: 10/15/25-12/26/25
Thank you for listening and for hearing me. My parents and my siblings and boyfriend are all trying their hardest, but naturally they’re ready to move on before I am. They don’t understand how much I’m grieving, and even if they did they can’t really relate to me.
I’m not ready to move on from her. It’s only been two days, and it still hurts the same.
Please share chickens you’ve loved and lost, so I know who’s in her flock wherever her soul is resting now. I just don’t want to feel alone in this pain.
Thank you again if you’ve read all of my emotional ramblings. I miss her so much and I already feel a little better knowing I’m not the only one grieving what others think is “just a chicken”.
Baby Midnights first time on my shoulder
Day old Midnight under her brooder
Baby Midnight showing her sister there’s nothing to be scared of
Midnight starting to look like a big girl, and learning how to pose for a picture.
Midnights first day of recovery
Midnight getting the strength to stand on her own
She climbed all the way up to my shoulder to cuddle in my neck
Midnights first and last day in the warm sun. I took this picture because you could see some of her teal / blue coming in
My last picture of Midnight, taken soon after she passed so I didn’t forget how much I loved seeing the red coming in.
This group has always been so kind and supportive to me. I don’t have anyone to talk to and no one around me would understand my pain.To start off, I’m a beginner chicken keeper and I’ve only hatched three clutches of eggs, so I’m definitely still learning.
My second clutch hatched two chicks, one born on my birthday (10/14) and the other hatched (10/15).
Naturally, I thought my birthday chick would be my favorite! However I quickly fell in love with her sister, a black copper maran / RIR mix.
Midnight was her name, named after a black hen my dad lost tragically as a kid and for the time she hatched. And Midnight was my baby and best friend.
She was always a bit slower to grow and a bit more cautious than her sister, but she loved people. She loved to be held by me, she loved to be on my shoulder, and she loved to be with a human. She had the most intelligent and curious olive green eyes.
On December 15th, I found her laying on her side like she was unable to get up. She was so weak and couldn’t really eat, so I immediately brought her to my bedroom and started feeding her egg yolk, Nutri Drench, and water. I did this for days until she was finally able to stand again.
My dad and I decided to rename her “Dawn” as he worried he’d cursed her with her name.
She gained energy quickly, showing interest in her crumbles again and always trying to walk off of my bed. Her poop went from watery and bloody to solid and a normal color again. We treated her for coccidiosis and eventually we thought she was on the road to recovery.
It was unnaturally warm and sunny on Christmas day, so I brought her to sit with me in the sun outside while my dad finished up working on their coop. I noticed she had less energy than before but I though that she was just basking in the sun and Vitamin D.
The next day, I realized I was wrong.
She wouldn’t drink or eat any water and she was back to how she was at first, exhausted and dozing off throughout the day.
I had to go to work, and I knew something was wrong but I naively thought I’d be able to get back home and spend a couple hours with her before bed after work. I thought I could nurse her back to health like I did more than a week prior.
I got home and went straight to my room to hold her in my arms and try to feed her more Nutri Drench and water. I knew something was seriously wrong and she couldn’t hold her head up.
I only held her and loved on her for a few minutes, stroking her neck feathers and talking softly to her, before I saw her open her eyes one last time and look up at me.
I knew then that she was saying her goodbyes and taking my face in for the last time. Then her eyes shut and they didn’t open again.
I held her for five more minutes before I called my dad in to confirm if she was really gone.
I knew she was. I knew she’d passed after her eyes finally closed. I just didn’t want to believe it.
My baby died in my arms after I only held her for a few minutes. I held her body for an additional 15 minutes. I wasn’t ready to let her go.
I wasn’t prepared for how quickly her body went into rigor mortis. Despite that, I still couldn’t believe she was gone.
Even after my dad had dug the hole and she was buried under the tulip poplar, I couldn’t believe it. I was and still am so scared she was buried alive. I was so scared she was just asleep. Maybe it hurt less to imagine she was just sleeping.
Ive always been incredibly sensitive especially when it comes to animals, and I never handled loss well. Every animal I lose hurts just as much as the one before, but also in such a unique way because I had a different bond and relationship with every animal I’ve loved.
She was my baby. She loved me the most, she always wanted to be held, she was the sweetest chicken I’d ever met and she was still growing in the most beautiful auburn red feathers from her RIR daddy.
She had so much life to live, only a little older than two months. She would have been a great momma and I was so excited for her chocolate brown eggs.
I got so attached to her, never anticipating an early loss, so I wasn’t prepared at all for the pain. I loved that girl more than I thought I’d ever be able to love to a chicken, and that’s coming from someone who manages to love every little creature I meet.
She wasn’t supposed to die. She was supposed to live out a long life and then eventually retire and pass away from old age. She was supposed to be my full-grown shoulder chicken.
I just want my girl back. We have more hatching eggs coming soon and I keep hoping and praying she’ll come back to me in a healthier form.
I can’t accept she’s gone.
If you’ve read this far, please tell me, does it get easier? Does it ever get easier to lose a chicken? Does the pain go away?
I feel so much guilt for not spending enough time with her on her final day. I feel so guilty for not saving her. I feel like I failed her. She was never just a chicken, she had a soul, a brain, thoughts, emotions, moods, a personality. I wish I could have saved her.
She was my girl.
Midnight/Dawn: 10/15/25-12/26/25
Thank you for listening and for hearing me. My parents and my siblings and boyfriend are all trying their hardest, but naturally they’re ready to move on before I am. They don’t understand how much I’m grieving, and even if they did they can’t really relate to me.
I’m not ready to move on from her. It’s only been two days, and it still hurts the same.
Please share chickens you’ve loved and lost, so I know who’s in her flock wherever her soul is resting now. I just don’t want to feel alone in this pain.
Thank you again if you’ve read all of my emotional ramblings. I miss her so much and I already feel a little better knowing I’m not the only one grieving what others think is “just a chicken”.
Baby Midnights first time on my shoulder
Day old Midnight under her brooder
Baby Midnight showing her sister there’s nothing to be scared of
Midnight starting to look like a big girl, and learning how to pose for a picture.
Midnights first day of recovery
Midnight getting the strength to stand on her own
She climbed all the way up to my shoulder to cuddle in my neck
Midnights first and last day in the warm sun. I took this picture because you could see some of her teal / blue coming in
My last picture of Midnight, taken soon after she passed so I didn’t forget how much I loved seeing the red coming in.
Losing chickens is so hard, especially when they're your buddy and so young. 
You took great care of her-- you didn't fail her. My favorite girl died over a year ago even though she had great care. Your pictures are adorable btw.
I am so sorry for your loss. Midnight was a sweet beautiful girl and I am sure she knew how much she was loved. Your grief is strong now, but yes it will fade with time. Some chickens will be easier to lose than others, but all will hold a special place in your heart. We lost Onix, one of our first girls, almost 3 weeks ago to a reproductive infection. She was 5 and we knew she was sick for a couple of weeks, but I still cried hard when she died. Here is one of my favorite pictures of Onix(on the left) with her sister Holly when they were younger. Perhaps Onix is keeping Midnight company on the other side of the rainbow bridge
