Neighbor's 30+yr old horse needs to be put down/long venting rant ....

[mudhen]

Our neighbors have three horses. Supposedly they are their 25 year old daughter's horses. She is currently without a job (again), still living at home and does absolutely nothing to help out.
She doesn't even care for her horses, nor pay for feed/shoes/vets, etc.
Short story long: Parents have been caring for the horses for years, and the oldest now 32 or 34 years old has been going downhill for a couple of weeks.
He developed an infection which the vet now says is eating away at the bone, time to put the creature down.
It was all scheduled for this past weekend, and the girl called the vet and cancelled it! She wants the parents to keep giving it bute to keep the horse 'comfortable'.
She's verbally abusive to the parents (a sad affair, they are cowered by her and hence can't get her to leave the house). DH and I went over and finally convinced her that the horse wasn't going to be comfortable much longer since it is already urinating blood from kidney damage from bute treatments for so long.
Now we've finally arranged for a trailer, the vet, and a crematorium tomorrow.
I'm hoping she will stay out of the way. Don't mistake her reaction as an emotional one. Her parents are emotional over the loss of the horse, they really love it. She just feels that animals and people should die without assistance.
I suppose parents have to be tolerant of their children, I certainly am glad sometimes that I never had any. Especially when I meet ungrateful brats like the one next door.
I'm sure this all doesn't make much sense to everyone. It's a much longer story with this girl taking advantage of her parents. We've known them for a little over five years and have watched her as she started college, graduated, and then went on an head-shaking path of refusing to work for anything, taking jobs and quitting, taking up wicca and almost burning her room down, etc, etc. too much to mention.
She's got her father wrapped around her little finger, which causes rows between him and her mother, and she knows it and almost enjoys watching what she can do to them.
It is so frustrating. They are really good people that have worked and scraped all their lives to finally retire here and she is bleeding them dry financialy.
Honestly, if she tries to interfere tomorrow and prolongs the horse's suffering one more day, I am going to have a hard time restraining myself.
And I'm not just butting in, both parents have asked me and DH for our help. We are close with them, almost like extended family, often having dinner at each other's houses (the daughter is hardly there coming home usually after midnight and sleeping in till all hours, then disappearing again).
OK. I'm done venting for now. THanks for listening, I'm pretty sure I don't make a lot of sense here, but I just had to share.
I'm hoping to keep the parents home tomorrow after the horse is put down and either I or DH will go take it to the crematorium. Neither of them should have to see their dear pet dragged out of the trailer. Certainly not a last image anyone would want of a beloved animal.

Thanks for listening....

 

[justusnak]

Oh jeesh. That just breaks my heart! Thank you for being such careing people. You and your DH are what I would call....GREAT NEIGHBORS! I just wish there was something that could be done about the daughter. Social services maybe? What a shame about that poor horse's suffering. Thanks for helping him to Rainbow Bridge.

 

[crtrlovr]

At the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy (and no, I'm not REALLY old...

what is with an almost entire generation that feels they're entitled to spend whatever income their PARENTS have, not bothering to bring in any of their own or even contribute "in kind" as in helping with laundry, yard chores, household cleanup, etc., not be "hindered" by following any house rules such as time to be in the house, having the courtesy to at least tell someone where you are going, and whether or not you'll be around for the next meal, ... ???

There is such a scourge of discourteous and thoughtless behavior not just from people who are related to each other, but think about it: just having coming through the Christmas season, was your last romp through the mall a delight, or did you suffer from being "mauled" at the mall? Rude people will literally shove you out of the way if you're not moving fast enough, an "excuse me" is as rare as the Hope diamond, and Heaven help you if stumble upon one of the roving gangs who literally dare you to slow their progress or make them separate to go around you!

*OMGoodness, I do sound like an old fart, don't I?* but really I'm not....

To be such a "common" thing, common courtesy is a rare jewel indeed...
Thank you, mudhen, for being there and caring for your neighbors. You sound like a jewel yourself. If you ever feel the need to move to western Kentucky, look me and my DH up.. we'd love to have you for a neighbor.

 

[mudhen]

Thanks, you are both sweethearts.
This morning we helped with putting the sweet old guy to rest. Aside from the daughter's being rude to her parents, all went smoothly and he went down quickly.
The mother asked me to drive her and her daughter to the crematorium out in College Park, MD, so I followed the trailer out there, our own little funeral procession.
I felt like Kissinger during the drive, playing peacemaker and mostly trying to get the daughter to understand where her parents are coming from. She is so hard headed, you know the type..."My mind is made up...don't confuse me with the facts." When we got back home this afternoon, the mom kept giving me hugs and was so appreciative.
I have to tell you two of the 'gems' she dropped on her mom during the drive:
a) she's moving to England, is going to get a 'heritage' passport (her grandmother was Polish) and that way she can get a job right away and be entitled to health care.

b) when she gets enough money put together,she is going to take the horse's cremated ashes and have them turned into a diamond....

yeah.

I'm just glad it went as well as it did overall and that he is at peace. I've been fighting a sinus infection the past few days, so I came home and zonked out for a couple of hours.
I'm sure they were all exhausted themselves, so I am going to make some cookies and take them over there in a bit.
Thank you for listening! I am so fortunate to have you as my BYC neighbors!

 

[skirbo]

You are a good and true friend.

And the parents should encourage their daughter to move to England (sorry England!) and then not pay for her to come back!

Sarah

 

[newchickenfamily]

Good for you mudhen! How lucky those people are to have neighbors like you. I'm glad you were able to help get the horse over the Rainbow Bridge.

As far as the daughter, the parents are enabling her and allowing themselves to be her doormat. I'm not that much older than her, but I would NEVER act that way toward my parents. EVER.

 

[buck-wild-chick]

That's a sad situation, I feel for the parents!

 

[Nikki28]

Wow... I have seen my share of classmates turning into "stay-at-home-losers" continuing to live at home while contributing nothing and demanding everything. It still amazes me to hear about it. I moved out at 18 and have loved being an adult and couldn't imagine treating my parents like that (mind you it would be a cold day in 'you know where' before they would put up with it. It was nice of you to help them and end the horses suffering the only thing I hope for is that she doesn't procreate.

 

[coffeelady3]

Quote:
...Sounds like this might not be such a bad thing!

 

[freemotion]

You are a wonderful friend. Putting a horse down is more difficult in many ways because of the logistics, and you took on the hardest parts.

I hope the parents do one more enabling thing: buy a one-way ticket out of the country for that little *#@&^$&!!!!!