I have been friends with Melissa since High School, 30 + years. Her family life was a turmoil, Stepdad , alcoholism, drugs and that was her Mom & Step Dad. Her real dad had issues but he did love his kids. Her brother has been in and out of rehab since he was a kid.
Melissa married young and got pregnant, she had a daughter and son with John. They divorced, John refused to accept Daniel (son) as his own (the kid looked just like him!)
Melissa re-married, George, he loves her but is a lazy spoiled brat who's mommy has always paid all the bills his whole life. Melissa has always worked hard (2 or 3 jobs at a time)
Back in 2000, Daniel died, there is some controversy as to whether it was suicide or an accident (I know what I think) Sarah (daughter) was home with Daniel and found him.
Of course this devastated the family. Fast forward a couple of years, Melissa gets pregnant and has a son, Georgie.
She gets a great job and life goes ok for awhile, George goes through jobs like most people go through underwear, he is just plain lazy!
Anyway, Sarah is diagnosed with Bi-Polar , so she can't hold a job, is 24 years old and moves back home.
No one on this family has really dealt with Daniels death, in fact they really are all in denial about it and choose to think it was an accident (Daniel was almost 11 when this happened and they found him hanging from his closet)
So Sarah blames her mother for Daniels death and then in front of Georgie says he is just a replacement for Daniel!
Melissa comes to me on FB to talk about it. I tried as much as I could to do two things. First as hard as it was to get tough with Sarah and tell her in no uncertain terms to stay on her meds or leave, Second to contact my Cousin, she also has a Bi-Polar daughter and has done tons and tons of research on treatment, counseling and even has a website set up.
Melissa did neither. Sarah stayed and is sponging off her mom.
Second situation, Melissa has a horse, she has had for for 14 years, the whole situation is funny (in a weird way) this horse came from another friends sister, she could have been registered but the sister (sherri) never sent in the paperwork, Melissa paid $2500 for the horse. So the horse is 16 , not registered and not good for anything (never broke or anything) she is boarding this horse with our friend Penny. Penny has been trying to convince Melissa to get rid of the horse, she even GAVE Melissa a well broke horse. Melissa will not get rid of her, Penny has found countless really good homes where she could be a pet, Melissa backs out.
Now she is talking about breeding the unregistered horse! So the other night on FB she contacts me, says the time is close that she is supposed to (once again) get rid of the horse and she does not think she can.
I told her to let her go. She went on and on about how she had had her all these years and how hard it was, I told her that it would be even harder in another 16 years when she had to put her down. I told her how hard it was when I put down my old mare.
Then she proceeds to talk about keeping her and breeding her.
I tried to explain how bad the Horse Market is, her reply, well you have 5 mares you breed! Yes, I have a farm and my broodmares have babies to help offset their costs, but 1) My mares are all registered and I breed to the best stallions I can afford,in fact I re-invvest my tax refund every year in to breeding. 2) Even though my mares are registered, babies that I used to sell for $2500 at weaning are selling for $800 now.
I finally had enough and just laid it all out , I really did not mean to dump, but in my older age (47) I have become a realist and it is tearing me apart seeing her go through life busting her butt and not getting anywhere but also living in a bubble and not in the real world.
When she started talking about breeding this mare, I told her she was not being fair to Penny, this would be one more horse for Penny to take care of, even though she pays for feed & hay, Penny does not charge Melissa board. Penny does have a few other boarders that do pay.
I have just decided that when she comes on FB again, I will talk to her , but if she brings up the Horse or her family, I am going to tell her I just can't talk about that.
I am trying to "De-Clutter" my life and live with less-stress, I just do not need the drama.
Sorry so long, I just really needed to get this off my mind!
Melissa married young and got pregnant, she had a daughter and son with John. They divorced, John refused to accept Daniel (son) as his own (the kid looked just like him!)
Melissa re-married, George, he loves her but is a lazy spoiled brat who's mommy has always paid all the bills his whole life. Melissa has always worked hard (2 or 3 jobs at a time)
Back in 2000, Daniel died, there is some controversy as to whether it was suicide or an accident (I know what I think) Sarah (daughter) was home with Daniel and found him.
Of course this devastated the family. Fast forward a couple of years, Melissa gets pregnant and has a son, Georgie.
She gets a great job and life goes ok for awhile, George goes through jobs like most people go through underwear, he is just plain lazy!
Anyway, Sarah is diagnosed with Bi-Polar , so she can't hold a job, is 24 years old and moves back home.
No one on this family has really dealt with Daniels death, in fact they really are all in denial about it and choose to think it was an accident (Daniel was almost 11 when this happened and they found him hanging from his closet)
So Sarah blames her mother for Daniels death and then in front of Georgie says he is just a replacement for Daniel!
Melissa comes to me on FB to talk about it. I tried as much as I could to do two things. First as hard as it was to get tough with Sarah and tell her in no uncertain terms to stay on her meds or leave, Second to contact my Cousin, she also has a Bi-Polar daughter and has done tons and tons of research on treatment, counseling and even has a website set up.
Melissa did neither. Sarah stayed and is sponging off her mom.
Second situation, Melissa has a horse, she has had for for 14 years, the whole situation is funny (in a weird way) this horse came from another friends sister, she could have been registered but the sister (sherri) never sent in the paperwork, Melissa paid $2500 for the horse. So the horse is 16 , not registered and not good for anything (never broke or anything) she is boarding this horse with our friend Penny. Penny has been trying to convince Melissa to get rid of the horse, she even GAVE Melissa a well broke horse. Melissa will not get rid of her, Penny has found countless really good homes where she could be a pet, Melissa backs out.
Now she is talking about breeding the unregistered horse! So the other night on FB she contacts me, says the time is close that she is supposed to (once again) get rid of the horse and she does not think she can.
I told her to let her go. She went on and on about how she had had her all these years and how hard it was, I told her that it would be even harder in another 16 years when she had to put her down. I told her how hard it was when I put down my old mare.
Then she proceeds to talk about keeping her and breeding her.
I tried to explain how bad the Horse Market is, her reply, well you have 5 mares you breed! Yes, I have a farm and my broodmares have babies to help offset their costs, but 1) My mares are all registered and I breed to the best stallions I can afford,in fact I re-invvest my tax refund every year in to breeding. 2) Even though my mares are registered, babies that I used to sell for $2500 at weaning are selling for $800 now.
I finally had enough and just laid it all out , I really did not mean to dump, but in my older age (47) I have become a realist and it is tearing me apart seeing her go through life busting her butt and not getting anywhere but also living in a bubble and not in the real world.
When she started talking about breeding this mare, I told her she was not being fair to Penny, this would be one more horse for Penny to take care of, even though she pays for feed & hay, Penny does not charge Melissa board. Penny does have a few other boarders that do pay.
I have just decided that when she comes on FB again, I will talk to her , but if she brings up the Horse or her family, I am going to tell her I just can't talk about that.
I am trying to "De-Clutter" my life and live with less-stress, I just do not need the drama.
Sorry so long, I just really needed to get this off my mind!
