STOP.. Take a good long look in the mirror.

[202roosterlane]

Look you know me. All of you, some more than others. So tonight I’m going to say a few things and if you don’t like it, keep on scrolling and pass this by. You will not hurt my feelings.
Everyone has problems, some financial, family, health, neighbors, job, yaddda, yadda, yadda. (I have not said that since I wore a uniform.) BUT and it’s a big but and MY opinion, but WAKE UP……
LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Who are you? Is your life consumed with your problems and you are miserable? Have you let yourself be miserable? Are you blaming it on others or waiting for someone else to fix your life?
Even if your problems are all of the above, a million dollars would not fix it permanently. Sure all your bills would be paid, you’d help a few others, you’d take a vacation, whatever. But the very next day there WILL be a new problem in your life. That’s life.
Some problems can be fixed with your next paycheck but some problems may be out of your control and will take a little more time. And I am not just talking about money. You cannot let things consume you to the point you over look the amazing joys you do have in your life, and so many of us do.
Were you so wound up today that you over look a child that showed you a picture they made just for you? Did you forget to be grateful for the awesome supper on the table? Were you not grateful for the fact that you did get to wake up and you were blessed with one more day?
Do you spend time with your friend and co workers complaining about how exhausting and miserable your life is to the point you wonder why no one wants to be around you? Why are you alone this weekend? Why were you not invited to the super bowl party? Because you whine so much no one wants to be around you. Is it Saturday and you do not have to work and you say to yourself, “Man I am freakin bored!” Guess what????? YOUR BORING. If your bored, your boring. It is not other people’s responsibility to keep you amused. Walk away from the drama and and get a life. Don’t stop living because of your problems. Trust me they will be there in the morning. Breath…… If you go golfing, hiking, volunteering, paint a bedroom…….your problems will still be there, but you will give yourself a small breather, you may clear the fog in your head a tad, you may actually smile. Forget the monkey on your back.
If you can honestly say, “ I am so miserable and my problems are so large I just hate the world.” You are forgetting something.
Without a doubt, no matter how much a pain in the ***** you are being, someone loves you, someone wishes you would go shoot hoops, color in a coloring book with them, read them a story or go play golf.
Everyday even if for a short time, put your troubles behind you and give thanks for what you have been blessed with. WHAT YOU SAY??? You cannot think of anything because you are consumed with bills, bald tires, a crappy boss, and low pay? I guess it’s possible. I doubt it, but anything is possible.
Go to your bedroom…….stand in front of the mirror.
Do you like what you see?
Do you like what you have become?
Do you like what you have let control you?
Did you stop believing in yourself?
Then do something about it.
No one can fix your life but you. When you wake up in the morning and can honestly say, “I have nothing to look forward to, I have nothing to be grateful for, man my life sucks”….start slow….. have a cup of coffee and be grateful that you could afford it, brewed it, and it was awesome.
And when your crappy boss starts barking, just think back how wonderful that one cup of coffee was. How it made you go…..yummmmmmm.
You want to get that same feeling but better?????? It won’t make you problems go away…….. Perform a random act of kindness. No matter how small, no matter what that act, you will be consumed with an amazing amount of joy that you were able to bring a smile to another person face and for just a moment in time, you both forget the craziness of the world. Try this daily. Go crazy, try it twice a day and when your day really sucks, slip in a few extras. Then go home, praise God you have one, eat supper with your family, hug your kids, pay your electric bill and be thankful that this month you could. You are in control of your life. Be grateful, thankful and pat yourself on the back and remember tomorrow is a new day, your in control, and do the best with what you have. Wake up, smile, and say to yourself…. “Today will be better and I will try harder. Thank you Lord for blessing me with one more day.”

 

[HIS Paintbrush]

The real problem is when a man looks into the mirror and then walks away and forgets what he saw.

 

[Nitrous]

And guys only see the parts we like. We seriously just don't look at the bad parts. I will turn to the side, so I don't see the parts I don't want. Ignore the roundish belly and focus solely on the pecs, shoulders and arms.

HAPPINESS!

 

[HIS Paintbrush]

I meant internal things Nitrous, those aspects about our lives or thoughts that are revealed to us by our conscience through prayer. things that need to change inwardly that when we come to to terms with certain matters when we see what we look like and then we walk away and forget what needs to change or improve.

 

[HIS Paintbrush]

Those ugly aspects about us are meant to be revealed. If we never had a mirror to look at, we'd still have our conscience, our internal compass of God's law placed in the heart of every man or woman. But like you say nitrous we only want the world to see the beautiful aspect of our lives. The things inwardly that are repulsive to our creator we hide and try to get the world to be more accepting. pecs shoulders and arms and flat belly will decay with the rest our body, but the soul will live through all of eternity, could be good for a person or could be bad. Trust me, better to spend a lot of time in front of that mirror of eternity. When you stare at that temporary image, there's a reason you feel hollow when you look at yourself in the eyes.

 

[202roosterlane]

Well maybe some. I think some people let themselves become so overwhelmed with their problems they lose sight of all the wonderful people around them, the things they do have. I have learned from personal experience that you do what you can, make a goal for the future, appreciate daily.

There was a time in my life... I know right, Not Miss Think Positive as my Soldiers used to say, I just sat down and thought can my life get any worse? The last two years of my career I buried 30 soldiers. I worried about retirement and money. All four of my adult kids need something, move in money for apartments, down payments on a house, Help with sales tax on a car, college tuition. My 2 acres needed constant raking, mowing, fertilizer. My car needed tires but I could not figure out when I was gonna make the time to get them, pay for them and take care of the families of the deceased soldiers. As a Casualty notification Officer, after we buried one of our beloved soldiers, the families needed help with legal paper work, the needed to get ID cards, insurance go to the social security office, etc. All the things they did not understand as well as grieve. So I was responsible to help them through the process. I belonged to them for one year, day or night 24/7. And I still had to squeeze in my regular Army responsibilities because the other soldiers still needed me to pay, feed, clothe and train them.

When I went home, I still had to be Mom, Grandma, wife. I still had to put a smile on my face. There were times I needed to explode and just cry. And I did, quietly behind a closed door. And after the 28th soldier died, I put in my for my retirement and said no more. In the next 3 months to come I buried 2 more. That was it. Those were my Commander, my Supply NCO, my friends.... I needed time to grieve to but when was I going to squeeze that time in. For those 2 years, I over looked all of the good, I did not realized people were there for me and concerned for me. I missed out on a lot that if I would have just took a breath, took time to grieve, walked away for a weekend and regrouped maybe it could have been handle differently. There was no more left to give and I was not sure I had given enough and felt worthless.

It was until someone said, You buried Soldiers with honor and respect then you helped their families though the worst thing that could have ever happen to them. Wait....... I did, didn't I. Did I do it to the best of my ability? She said, I think you forgot about YOU. She said she thought I lost sight of my life because of every thing happening at once. None of which I wanted to fess up to because I am a person who likes to keep it scheduled, get it done, motivate others, organize the training, run the meetings. So how do I continue to serve others and myself and be happy and healthy. Physically and mentally. She said to do what I do best, make a new Standard operational procedure, in a sense. Time to regroup and take a good look in the mirror.


All of which was very hard to hear, and to imagine. Could this be done? Could I wake up in the morning and it would all be roses? Would it take time or could I just say, "This is how it gonna be done." and life would perfect. Nope it took about 8 months. It got worse before it got better. The anxiety of not being there helping Soldiers in my retirement made me feel useless. But something happened.....

My sister and I were walking down town and a homeless person walked up to me and said, " Any chance I could have a cigarette?" I froze, what to do, what to do, what to do....... wait have I lost my mind.
I smiled and said sure and then he felt embarrassed to ask if I had a light. No he really did. So I gave him a light and I said, I know whatcha mean, sometimes you just need a good smoke to get your day started. You have a good day. He had a big smile on his face and said thank you so much. And that was it. He did not ask for money. He was not imposing. My heart filled with joy at that because of something I did made someone smile. Something so small... But he was happy. I WAS HAPPY.

Wait, random acts of kindness. I know I have always done them but I overlooked the fact how much they meant to others and how good it felt to me. Is it crazy that it changed my outlook on my life? I started spending more quality time with my family, started appreciating the little things more, Every chance I got I tried to be polite, patience with others. One day I help a lady in a motorized buggy get an item off a high shelf, gave a pregnant woman my seat, Held a door open for someone in the rain, helped a elderly man load his groceries in his truck when he was obviously in no condition to be shopping alone. How did this help me with bills, kids, housework? Some how it just reminded me that those problems would always be there. That there was a better way to handle life's lemons. There is so much good in my life that everything else became small and manageable. I am just like you. I am still waiting on the lottery LOL But now it just fun waiting and laughing about it. Laughing a lot. I hope some of this makes sense. If I can clear my fog, I know anyone can. If you know someone who has not smiled in days and you can see the weight of the world on their shoulders try using a kind word, a pat of encouragement, something. What ever just feels right. You might never know if it helped, but they will..... people still tease me, " You are always so nice and have such a big heart" . I just say thank you. I just wanted it to match my big butt. bahahahahaha

Thank goodness for spell check..

 

[chickened]

Very true. Thank you

Look you know me. All of you, some more than others. So tonight I’m going to say a few things and if you don’t like it, keep on scrolling and pass this by. You will not hurt my feelings.
Everyone has problems, some financial, family, health, neighbors, job, yaddda, yadda, yadda. (I have not said that since I wore a uniform.) BUT and it’s a big but and MY opinion, but WAKE UP……
LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Who are you? Is your life consumed with your problems and you are miserable? Have you let yourself be miserable? Are you blaming it on others or waiting for someone else to fix your life?
Even if your problems are all of the above, a million dollars would not fix it permanently. Sure all your bills would be paid, you’d help a few others, you’d take a vacation, whatever. But the very next day there WILL be a new problem in your life. That’s life.
Some problems can be fixed with your next paycheck but some problems may be out of your control and will take a little more time. And I am not just talking about money. You cannot let things consume you to the point you over look the amazing joys you do have in your life, and so many of us do.
Were you so wound up today that you over look a child that showed you a picture they made just for you? Did you forget to be grateful for the awesome supper on the table? Were you not grateful for the fact that you did get to wake up and you were blessed with one more day?
Do you spend time with your friend and co workers complaining about how exhausting and miserable your life is to the point you wonder why no one wants to be around you? Why are you alone this weekend? Why were you not invited to the super bowl party? Because you whine so much no one wants to be around you. Is it Saturday and you do not have to work and you say to yourself, “Man I am freakin bored!” Guess what????? YOUR BORING. If your bored, your boring. It is not other people’s responsibility to keep you amused. Walk away from the drama and and get a life. Don’t stop living because of your problems. Trust me they will be there in the morning. Breath…… If you go golfing, hiking, volunteering, paint a bedroom…….your problems will still be there, but you will give yourself a small breather, you may clear the fog in your head a tad, you may actually smile. Forget the monkey on your back.
If you can honestly say, “ I am so miserable and my problems are so large I just hate the world.” You are forgetting something.
Without a doubt, no matter how much a pain in the ***** you are being, someone loves you, someone wishes you would go shoot hoops, color in a coloring book with them, read them a story or go play golf.
Everyday even if for a short time, put your troubles behind you and give thanks for what you have been blessed with. WHAT YOU SAY??? You cannot think of anything because you are consumed with bills, bald tires, a crappy boss, and low pay? I guess it’s possible. I doubt it, but anything is possible.
Go to your bedroom…….stand in front of the mirror.
Do you like what you see?
Do you like what you have become?
Do you like what you have let control you?
Did you stop believing in yourself?
Then do something about it.
No one can fix your life but you. When you wake up in the morning and can honestly say, “I have nothing to look forward to, I have nothing to be grateful for, man my life sucks”….start slow….. have a cup of coffee and be grateful that you could afford it, brewed it, and it was awesome.
And when your crappy boss starts barking, just think back how wonderful that one cup of coffee was. How it made you go…..yummmmmmm.
You want to get that same feeling but better?????? It won’t make you problems go away…….. Perform a random act of kindness. No matter how small, no matter what that act, you will be consumed with an amazing amount of joy that you were able to bring a smile to another person face and for just a moment in time, you both forget the craziness of the world. Try this daily. Go crazy, try it twice a day and when your day really sucks, slip in a few extras. Then go home, praise God you have one, eat supper with your family, hug your kids, pay your electric bill and be thankful that this month you could. You are in control of your life. Be grateful, thankful and pat yourself on the back and remember tomorrow is a new day, your in control, and do the best with what you have. Wake up, smile, and say to yourself…. “Today will be better and I will try harder. Thank you Lord for blessing me with one more day.”

 

[HIS Paintbrush]

Well it's better to be positive than negative but sometimes it can be like fixing up the outside of a house while the foundation is collapsing, the wiring is corroded, and paint is falling off the walls on the inside. Of course this all depends on intent or motive of the heart. I agree on laying down you life for others and serving, because truly that is what satisfies man inwardly, contrary to what makes sense. It's more logical to live to please yourself and make gain in as many aspects as possible. Roosterlane, you have a long list which tells me you do acknowledge everything that is a disappointment, even clothed with positive reinforcement. Positivity runs out if you are the source. This is not a put down, i want you to know that. Truthfully our sufferings are tiny when measured from a world wide standpoint, but this American viewpoint of suffering is all most of us know. You can run out of yourself but you can't run out of Christ when He is the source. Many thank the Lord as a habit or something we just say here in America, but few truly have a real relationship with the Creator because for that to take place sin has to be mentioned, and then after that the payment has to be acknowledged. Few people want to face that and they just assume God is just pleased if they are nice to people or positive towards others. You can have joy in suffering and you can have peace in turmoil, but only through what God came to earth and accomplished and no longer counting your own life dear to you, but stepping into the price that was paid for you. God bless

 

[202roosterlane]

I understand and appreciate your comments. I may have not been clear in my intent for the ramblings. I just wanted to say an uplifting message, or a word of encouragement. Not all people believe in God, or do but do not practice. So I did not want to single anyone out. My personal life with God is mine and I like to stay out of politics and religion, though it warms my heart to here others- if they want to talk about it. I will never be the person who speaks ill of another for their beliefs. That's just one more thing to add to their heavy shoulders and would be truly ugly of me. If someone would like to post something, feel free. This is not a Regulus rambling thread but if you would like to say I thank God every day, say it, but if you just need to share something, need a ear, your BYC friends are here for you too.

I have been retired 2 years now and I am very happy with the ways things have come together. Life is good and this I hope for all of you. So today I was wondering if you want to share. First name 5 things that are truly the most troublesome things that are weighing on your shoulders. Then name 10 amazing things in your life. 1And put a * beside the one you just realized you wrote and have not appreciated in a long time because of the fog. You will be amazed. You don't have to literally do them on here.. But if you do them at home, do it in front of the mirror. Life is hard, we all know this, but it has some pretty awesome moments too. Today I hope your fog lifts more than yesterday and your troubles are fewer. 202

 

[HHandbasket]

I really like your posts and comments! Well-said.

For the last 2+ years, I have been one of those people. My husband and I were literally eaten alive in the recession and literally lost everything tangible, including our jobs and health insurance. We lost our home. We lost our cars. We lost our income. (For 2011, we made 1/4 of what we made in 2007 and 2008.) Last year was an awful year for us, and I do not think I went an entire day the whole year without crying about something devastating, one thing after another... no job, no income, faced homelessness, cars broke down, no money to fix them... it was a rough time.

I was the queen of "O Woe Is Me!" Even *I* hated being around me!

But at the end of 2011, I knew my life would never get any better unless *I* did something to make it better. After deep reflection, I realized, I don't WANT my old life back. Do I miss the money? Yep. Do I miss the good, reliable vehicles we had? Yep. Do I miss having the money to fix things when the break? Yep Do I miss having health insurance? Yep. Do I miss having the money to fly my husband's kids out here for the summer every year? Yep. Do I miss having a big, roomy house with plenty of space for everything? Yep.

Do I miss living in the city, fighting traffic, being afraid of the meth-heads and gang bangers that hung out in my neighborhood? Do I miss the cat-fighting that comes with working in an office fulla back-biting women (of which I was one, don't get me wrong, I ain't just pointing the finger at others)?

NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!

If we had not "suffered" such devastating losses in 2009 and 2010 and 2011, we would never, ever have found this beautiful home we now have. It's small, but we are living in the beautiful Sierra Nevada mountains on a ranch, assisting on the ranch and working off portions of our rent and utilities. We have a big yard and good landlords/neighbors who have given us permission to open up the fencing and expand back as far as we want to grow food and raise our chickens, as if it were our own home. I would never have found my wonderful friend, Linda (gryeyes on here), and we never would have started raising chickens or growing as much of our own food as we did in 2010 and again this year (moved in the middle of planting season last year so only had a very tiny garden at the end of summer/early fall with a few tomatoes and some greens/spinach/bok choy).

Our debts and our problems haven't gone anywhere, but we do what we can. A month ago, a woman who is also in a bad situation with her finances and who lives near us called to see if we had any eggs, as she didn't have anything to eat. I opened up my freezer, and while we didn't have much, we had some leftover chicken we'd processed, several dozen eggs, several bags of frozen vegetables of varying kinds, a couple of pork chops, and I had a bunch of canned goods. I packed it all up into a bag, and when she came over to get the eggs, I gave her the whole thing. It felt really, really good to be able to be there for another person.

That's how we get through our days... it feels good to just do, to just be, and to just appreciate where we live and what we have.

About the only thing I truly, truly miss about living in the city is being close to my sons and grandkids, but life is what it is and we are living in a beautiful, idyllic mountain paradise that is quiet, peaceful, and we can see all the stars at night. We have deer that come up to our back fence every morning and graze while looking directly at us. When our grandson comes to visit, he gets to see that! Up close and in person... something that won't happen too frequently living there in town.

It's also very nice to live in wine country. Mmmm, zinfandel. LOL!