Wedding shower and wedding gifts

[PaulaSB12]

I have just been looking on another board at a question about wedding gift etiquette in which she was told it was expected thing to send household applience as a gift for a shower and formal china, silver or a more elaberate gift for the wedding. Is it me or does this sound greedy of the bride and groom? Over here you get a wedding gift why expect 2?

 

[RabbitMage]

I wouldn't attend a wedding/party where the bride and groom expected me to bring something, nor would I expect anything from my guests but their presence.

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
X2.
Personally, I say leave the elaborate gifts to immediate family. Friends should give something she'll USE. For the shower, give her a set of basic spices in pretty jars! I always see people recieving picture frames at weddings and go, "Really?"

They've JUST been married! Besides family photos, they have no PICTURES yet!

And for the wedding, pretty towels, maybe offer to help with setup at the church. Or a gift card.
That being said, it IS traditional to give a gift at the bridal shower.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Sounds like my sister-in-law registering at fancy CA stores that we don't have in northern Michigan.

Good reasonably priced wedding gifts:
Scented candles,
Set of dish towels
Fancy soaps
Gift certificate
Homemade canned goods-jams, salsas

 

[purr]

well shower gifts I usually give what I call a honeymoon basket : nice basket with a nice bottle of wine , 2 wine glasses,chocolates. Bubble bath , bath salts ,and some candles

If I know the bride well I get a beautifull white nightgown with matching robe

Wedding: I either give one of my paintings , The last wedding I went to the groom is going through law school so I painted a tall ship on the ocean for over his desk,they were very pleased.
If they are not the painting type I give money

Most people now are registered for the shower and the wedding. If you don't feel you should give a gift at a shower then don't attend. The shower's purpose is to prepare a bride for her wedding. Now that there are no such things as dowries

 

[Judy]

Agreed, unless this is your sister or a similar close relative, a gift is expected but it can be quite simple, a candle and holder or a few scented soaps or the like. Just a token.

 

[ebwy2]

wedding shower is a concept we don't have over here (baby showers on the other hand are starting to happen, but not very often).

over here, you turn up to any pre-wedding parties if you want to, with no obligation or expectation for you to give a gift then. And you give a gift for the wedding, allegedly to help the bride and groom set up their home (though these days most people already have most of that stuff) but the cost is down to your own choice. I've given gifts that cost me around £3 and gifts that cost me much more (I only have one brother, so felt obliged to spend as much as I could for him)
Most couples do have a wedding gift list, but since I generally can't afford anything on them I just get them what I think they will like. The most recent was a friend who I think of as a sort of cousin (not actually related), and she had a couple of cheap disney oven gloves and tea towels from me - I couldn't afford more, but she LOVES disney and has loads of mickey themed stuff so the gift was suited to her

baby showers are the same - we just haven't had them. People tend to give a gift to the new mother (for the baby) when the baby arrives, rather than beforehand.

 

[babymakes6]

I have given practical gifts-for my brother and a few CLOSE friends I like to give them a new washbasket filled with home-canned fruits, vegetables, meat, pie filling, and jelly. I top it off with tea towels, dishcloths, candles, etc. Doesn't cost me much, yet it saves them a ton of money! They ALL loved it.

 

[muddyhorse]

Generally around here immediate family will give wedding shower gifts. Friends will bring something to "fill the pantry" or "under the sink" food items or cleaning products usually this is for girls that have not lived on their own yet. I usually give a spice rack or steak knives. I do wedding cakes so for the wedding I usually do the cake for cost as my present. For my sisters wedding I did a 4 tier cake, "but what did you GET me"