I am cracking up so hard right now! My cat just wandered in to see if she could share in the joke.
Actually, when a post is reported, an email goes to all the moderators and admins. Then whoever gets here first deals as they see fit, depending on the urgency of the report. Often it is merely that someone hit "report" instead of "reply" or "quote". Sometimes it is just a minor thing that the mod who sees it first can edit or whatever. But often we all discuss it in the private staff forum as to the action needed. Mostly though, no action is needed, just a watchful eye.
It is all truly a team effort.
From the member who alerts us to a potential problem to the staff all working as a team.