Wife is upset with me

[Powellcole5490]

So we picked up 7 Guinnea hens this last weekend. I wanted to get a dozen buy apparently they sold like hot cakes and we only got the left overs. But I was okay with it, so we picked up the 7 they had available and brought them to our little brooder. 6 of the guinneas seem great. They run run run all over the place. One never did. Just kind of stood there no matter what we did. Every know and then we would see them get a drink and that was about it. Never saw them eat a morsel.

I have been telling my wife to prepare herself to lose that one. I just did not see much hope for them no matter what we did. Well I just got a call at work from her and she is balling. Our daughter (year and a half old) was in the background balling too. I thought for sure something was terribly terribly wrong and I was going to need to rush home. Well, while something bad did happen I don't feel it warranted the response it received. The little guy/gal passed.

While I understand that is a sad thing to see and I know my wife is much more emotional than I am, any advice out there for how to get my wife to calm down and not get so attached to these animals? We are obviously new to the whole raising of animals, but man I was no expecting this. Not from a keet that barely showed any life ever. God help me if one of our chickens who have been with us for a few months gets taken out by a predator.....stay tuned. I'll let you know how that goes when it does....


Coleman

 

[LRH97]

Really sounds like a good life lesson. Raising animals is not always the happy wonderland it is sometimes made out to be. If you're in to poultry for a while, you're bound to suffer a predator attack or other deaths at some point. It's just a fact that we animal keepers have to face: the animals die. And it is disheartening. I've lost many birds I've really valued to predators and sometimes to sickness over the years. Almost half of the chicks that I received from an online hatchery arrived dead one year. Sometimes these things happen. However, we keep going because we have a love and a passion for animals and the hobby. Poultry keeping is extremely rewarding and like I said, if you plan to be in it long term, you will lose more birds over the years. It just happens and is something to be prepared for. But it shouldn't put you off of the hobby.

 

[MeepBeep]

I doubt you will be able to magically 'desensitize' her, people deal with death based on your life experiences and it's a learned behavior...

In general the more death you experience the more desensitized you get, it's not a hard fast rule but it seems to be the trend I have seen... I'm guessing if you do the chicken thing long enough she will 'numb' up a bit in time, but she also might remain the same, just being an emotional person... Unfortunately for you her reaction is bound to be passed off to your daughter, so you might have to intervene a bit and try to desensitize your daughter with the circle of life talks and showing less emotion...

 

[dekel18042]

Really sounds like a good life lesson. Raising animals is not always the happy wonderland it is sometimes made out to be. If you're in to poultry for a while, you're bound to suffer a predator attack or other deaths at some point. It's just a fact that we animal keepers have to face: the animals die. And it is disheartening. I've lost many birds I've really valued to predators and sometimes to sickness over the years. Almost half of the chicks that I received from an online hatchery arrived dead one year. Sometimes these things happen. However, we keep going because we have a love and a passion for animals and the hobby. Poultry keeping is extremely rewarding and like I said, if you plan to be in it long term, you will lose more birds over the years. It just happens and is something to be prepared for. But it shouldn't put you off of the hobby.

X2, you can tell your wife this happens. Not all babies make it. We had one of 18 that just died recently at four days old despite our best efforts. We've lost some of our favorite adults to predators. I overheated the brooder on one batch. If you never want to lose a pet, the only sure cure is to never have a pet.
Losing them is the downside of having and loving them. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but you pick yourself up and soldier on, trying to figure out how to make it not happen again.
Good luck. It sounds as if your daughter may have been reacting to her mother's distress more then to her own. Another good reason for her mother to try and stay calm.

 

[charid]

When I first got my birds I was head over heals. I got them trained and would call them home and they would crest the hill in a 6 wide wave. So cute like little dinosaurs. I read everything on what to expect, how to care for them, lots of contradictory info, sorting out what worked and didnt, preparing their coop, etc etc. The one thing I never thought about was dealing with the losses that naturally occur. Not all babies are strong or well. Not all adults are going to survive predators. I mourn whats lost and I look at the situation and ask myself, was this my fault? If I made an over sight I fix it. If I did all I possibly could to properly care for them, then I tip my hat to the way of nature. All animals must eat. My birds are prey. The strong survive and produce better results every year. This is the way of nature. Nature respects nature, even those that die allow other lives to live and so I cannot mourn too much. The death of the ill protect the flock in the end.