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No, no, you'll shoot yourself! (said to chicken who wandered into the house and was pecking the gun safe, lol)

"no no no no no no no no no run renn, run!!!" is something I yell at my neighbor as the chickens attempt to eat his riding lawn mower, lol.

Dad- AYA THE CHICKENS ARE EATING CORY AND PEANUT'S (two of our friends) LUNCH!!! Me- heeeeerrrrreeeechiiiick ckiiiiiiick chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. Chickens- mom! Mom! Mom! Food! Food! Food! Mom! Mom! Mom! "all 40+ chickens swarm me and follow me through the yard"

And yes, I got chicken crap IN MY FREAKIN MOUTH.

BLLLAAARGGGHH!!!!!! (one of my poultry horde chose the moment I broke into a sprint in the gravel driveway to run in front of me. This is the noise I made as my face acted like a human ditchwitch from the resulting epic face plant. :caf )

Lol

Neighbor: "how do I make he chickens move when I'm mowing?" me: "drive straight at em, yelling at the top of ur lungs. They'll either move, or we're having chicken salad for dinner. (the neighbor proceeded to slowly walk away, as I continued to read my issue of backyard poultry.)

"oh crap, bad backstab, bad, do NOT eat the paint off Mary's car!!!

Yup, I can't even trick my going in one dirt of the house and coming out the other. Idk how, I have four different ways to get out of that house, but they always low which one I'm going out. It's kinda creepy, lol, cause they all look up at me at the same time, lol.

Lol, same for mine. When I was little, I loved hide n seek. When I got bigger, we adapted it so we didn't look like babies to "extreme hide n seek". I can no linger hide OR tackle people because to find me, just follow the trail of assorted poultry. (the neighbors ducks and guineas assume im mom...

Yup lol,mine are also trained to come to "heeeerrrrreee chiiiiick chick chick chick" yelled like your yodelling. My BFF has a pic of me laying face down in the herd, completely covered in chickens cause I put feed on my back and called them XD.

LOL (hemorrhoid cream works, too)

"COME TO ME, MY CHICKEN MINIONS!!!!!" is what I yell whenever I come home, or go out the door. When I yell this, all 45 come running up and proceed to follow me around. It REALLY messes with my dads friends, lol.

LOL my chickens try to steal my moms cigarettes out of her hand, lol.

Me calling my dad from friends house, "daddy? Will you lock my children in a box?"

No dear, that is NOT food "is pecked in ear" Get outta tha way! Move you feathered patootie! "steps on chicken"

Hehehe, my neighbors grandson, who is my age, walked up to find me having a conversation with my hen while petting her. He patted me on the head. Shook his head, and went inside to see my brother,lol

"burton, Rodney, clorox, and every else with feathers, GET OUT OF THE BASEMENT NOW!!!!!!" y, I've gone crazy, lol

Time for lunch my chicken children!