Daughter broke up with boyfriend and I'm the one depressed!

[Am I mad 66]

And thank you for sharing with me. Do I need that on off button right now! X

 

[Bleanna]

Well I am not doing good this morning. Should have stayed off social media. Looks like the ex gave flowers to a "new" girl yesterday. I just don't understand how he could be so cruel. A week ago he was telling my daughter how much she meant to him and how much he loved her. He always brought her flowers and told her these things. He was always so good to her. She isn't eating, looks like she has lost 10 pounds. She was tiny to begin with. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to confront him and ask how he could do this. Help!!!!

 

[connie1966]

Wow i envy your situation i would just hate him and move on! You cant confront him as much as you would like too this is something we have no control over and one thing mommy cant fix

you would just make things worse! I beleive everything happens for a reason you thought you knew him but you didnt he is showing you who he is beleive him!! Just be there for your daughter dont waste time snd energy on him hes so not worth it! She will get passed this! Someone amazing will cone into yout lives one day worthy of your love

 

[Am I mad 66]

Why are we beating ourselves up like this? Social media is of no help to us at all, except to rub salt in the wound (says me who was on it about 1/2 dozen times yesterday. I think Connie is right and much as you are tempted (which I've also been), it would serve no purpose other than to have him stick a finger up at you and ask what it is to do with you anyway?

This is so so hard, but what would your daughter think if you contacted him? Probably horrified. I think mine would be and my elder daughter tells me firmly to keep out of it (easy for her to say as she's not the Mum).

I'm trying hard today to put things back into perspective. Feel a wee bit better than yesterday although was up for 2 hours during the night. Must stay away from social media. Try for 1 day at a time and see what your record can be.

X

 

[connie1966]

Your daughter is right , if my daughter knew i contacted him omg she would lose it on me! Imagine if your parents got involved in your love life, they need to live and learn its their lives their expeariences their lessons we can empathize but its not our problem not outr responsibility

 

[Am I mad 66]

Having a rubbish night. Sent him a message saying to have a good wend with kids and no reply, although its been read. Feeling very tearfull and crying buckets. Need to give myself a shake and stop feeling so sorry for myself, left out of all his family chat and not ale to like or comment on our grandchildren's photos. At least we get to see them. Some grandparents don't even get any contact with theirs.

Going to bed x

 

[connie1966]

It hurts for sure .. Try not to ever msg him again though your only hurting yourself..

 

[anngel]

So glad I found this. I need help( with tears in my eyes). No one understands and the people I try to confide in belittles my feelings. I'm a teacher and this young lady became my favorite student. My son had to come to my school for whatever reason. They met, started dating and I was so pleased. Their relationship changed the entire dynamics of the favorite student relationship. She became daughter-in-law ( term of endearment). She also had so many problems with her mom, so I became the sounding board, advice giver and mediator for her and her mom. I love this girl for my son. I thought about her well being as much as his. She was apart of the family. We would text each other everyday. Like a mother-in-law talking to her daughter. People didn't understand that either. Well my son broke up with her, I was hurt, she was devastated and depressed. I told my son he was making a mistake and he was going to regret it. I helped her everyday, she waited for him for so long and I did too. She started to move on but still wanted him. I wanted him to come back to her too. Eventually, this other young man steps into her life. But she was confused. My son tried to make it work again I was so happy. She tried too, but realized the other young man was who she wanted. My son was hurt. But, he's doing better than me. I have to pretend that I'm alright. Because people don't understand. He's not dating at all. But he's coping. But angry. I'm devastated. Secretly crying all the time. Someone else is going to have the opportunity to love our angel. I've lost a family member. It kills me to even think that she's happy with another young man or family. Even though I know she deserves every bit of happiness she finds. She says she still wants me in her life. I truly want her to be happy she deserves it. But I want her with my son and in my family. I can't bare her texting me or calling me about her happiness with another young man, which is selfish on my end. I secretly blame my son and I try so hard not to have ill feelings towards him for waiting so late to rekindle. Sometimes,I also feel angry towards her and her mom for even thinking I'm perfectly fine with this. Even though I pretend to be. I feel it's best to cut all ties with her for my healing process. I hinted around about this. But her mom ask me not to. She has also ask me not to. But, I know that her calls and text will become less the more she becomes closer to the other young man. Honestly they already have. My son is now so upset with her because she chose the other young man he doesn't want to hear her name. She's no longer his girlfriend and is now leaving as my daughter. My emotions are so mixed up. I want her talking to me as my sons girlfriend. I need help I'm so sad. She's slowly cutting ties with our family. But she doesn't want to admit that she is. I have to let go, so we all can heal. It's so hard and it's out of my control. There is nothing I can do about it. Lesson learned.

 

[seminolewind]

I know it's very hard to let go of someone you have deep feelings for. But maybe we need to think about what's best for your son and the ex girlfriend. The best thing for your son is to support him . Obviously something wasn't working and nobody outside of your son will know the whole story, just what they are told. Your son is doing what's right for him. Support him in that.

As much as you were attached to the girlfriend, it may be best to distance yourself from her. She may need that to get on with her life and stop hoping that your son will come back. I know it's heartbreaking for you, but doing what's best for them may not be what's best for your feelings.

 

[anngel]

She has moved on with another young man. I truly want her and my son to be happy young people with or without each (more with, but can't have everything)other. But, she wants me to stay in her life. I'm disappointed that it's not my son. The reality is that the relationship I have with her is changing. She doesn't want to admit it. But, I'm facing it even though it's hurting to do so. I need to break ties so I can heal. Not let it slowly dissipate and in the meantime listen to her discuss someone else that's not my son. But she doesn't want to face reality that our communication is already changing. It hurts but I except it.