Daughter broke up with boyfriend and I'm the one depressed!

[connie1966]

Yes you need to cut ties with her and let go and bill it has nothing to do with self esteem we are moms who got attached who loved these kids as our own they became our family and its hard to one day wake up and never see then hear from them talk to them etc.. In time we will get over it to a certain extent but its hard its a. Process

 

[Am I mad 66]

Poor you Anngel. I feel for you and can only say that time will help and that gradual separation which is inevitable.

**edited by Staff**

 

[DuckLady]

I cleaned up a few posts. If your disappeared, it's because we need to get back on track and stop arguing about intents and meanings.

 

[connie1966]

Wow i read my first post here and i have come a long way, i have not cried since new years eve! Its a miracle! Lol I dream a lot about him though .. Anyway it will get better just takes time, took me 1 1/2 years and took him telling me off to snap out of it ! Still love him still miss him but its not a constant .. I was consumed by it , its not a way to live.. doesnt benefit anyone, life is too short to be miserable on a daily basis life goes on we need to accept what we cannot change and chose to be happy , all i got from this was depression anxiety and for a boy who in the end told me off so badly i cant even read it again i wil literally go mental it was just too much for my brains so cruel so harsh it killed me , so i just dont want you guys to do like me , let this go it is what it is all the praying snooping crying wont change the reality of the situation.. Its over take care of you and your family

 

[cwrite]

I cleaned up a few posts. If your disappeared, it's because we need to get back on track and stop arguing about intents and meanings.

Thank you!

 

[No easy answer]

I am going through a similar situation with my daughter, and was just wondering how you are doing as well as your daughter. I Guess I'm hoping for light at the end of the tunnel. My daughter was engaged for 5 months to a man she had been with for 3years. While I had always been apprehensive towards their union, over time I grew to love him and accept him as my future son. Not an easy thing for me. He was there for every holiday, birthday and family event. We traveled 900 miles to watch him graduate him army ranger training and helped him move to his next base. We visited him there and he traveled up to see her and spent many weekends at our home an hour away, so there was a investment on all sides. While his family never reached out to our daughter, mine was anxious to meet him and gave him many gifts as well. We had every reason to believe all was well and the future set. They broke up three months ago but after much back and forth it's done for sure and I am so sad. My daughter cries all the time and we support as best as we can, he has never called us (husband or me) and we don't expect it either. At this point it's wedding deposit money lost and we want to move on......then comes a reminder, an old card around her condo, dog tags he gave her, LinkedIn notification that he's getting out of the military and looking for a job and then BAM! It's like being blindsided and I'm sad all over again. How can I help her out of this pit when I'm just as effected. I miss him being around and I KNOW he wasn't the best thing for my daughter. What's wrong with me??

Please tell me there's light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[connie1966]

Hey! Are you asking anyone in particular!?

 

[No easy answer]

At this point, I guess I'm asking everyone. I can't believe I'm so affected. I feel so stupid. I wasn't in the relationship. Why am I crying and sad? Everyone says I'm too close to the situation and can't see straight. I just want to get over it so I can help my daughter. Why can't i?

Well, it's been a few hours since I wrote the comments above and in the meanwhile I have gone back and read past posts on all this. You are all amazing. I don't feel nearly as alone in this. No one understands and that's been kind of a surprise to me, I'm so glad I found this forum cuz I can use the compassion about right now!

 

[connie1966]

Hey! Yup nobody can understand dont even bother trying to explain! Its hard to beleive but it will hurt less, but i still miss him

theres nothing you can do really.. Just take it day by day

 

[connie1966]

Its sad for sure, just try not to show your daughter your so affected it will just nake it harder for her, hust be there for her listen to her and be supportive , thats all a mom can really do. Some things unfortunatly moms cant fix ..she has to get through this on her own time her own way and learn and grow and get stronger, and eventually she will get passed this and meet who she is meant to be with and live happily ever after.