Daughter broke up with boyfriend and I'm the one depressed!

[dixie86]

We have family stuff going on and I would have to take a rain check . I just miss her . Watched that girl grow up ! Hate being cut out of her life now .

 

[connie1966]

I know how you feel trust me but your son is right it's best for everyone in the long run

️

 

[Wisher1000]

I just wanted to interject an opposing view. My oldest son, aged 19, has been dating his girlfriend for nearly a year. I don't like her. I know how that sounds, no one will ever be good enough, mom's jealous, etc., but she is not what I have hopes for in a daughter-in-law. She is rude, childish, self centered, and not very pretty. She comes to my house, invited by him, and won't speak unless spoken to (and then, one word answers.) She eats my food, then complains about it, sits on my sofa, watching my TV, gets offended if my son doesn't wait on her hand and foot. She gets upset and yells at my other children if they happen to encroach on "her space" at our house. We like to joke around and play and sometimes towels or socks get thrown, not AT her, but about. Hey, they are teenage boys. When they decide to leave, usually because she says she wants to go, she gets up and walks out without saying bye, much less 'thank you.' I think she has loose morals and was never taught manners, much less graciousness. I do not think she is pretty, but my son does. I do not think she is nice or sweet, but my son does. I manage to be civil to her, but I feel I fall short of being warm. That in itself is odd because I am the type to embrace my children's friends and the children of my friends. I am hugged every time I am seen by most teenagers and love every minute of it. Except for this girl. I Just don't like her, I just don't trust her and I can't feel differently. I am normally a great judge of character and even tend to give the benefit of the doubt when I'm not immediately impressed, but this girl is bad news and I know it. When I try to soften toward her, rather than trying to meet me half way, I feel she attempts to take the upper hand and make me work for her approval. IT TICKS ME OFF! She is not in school and I suspect that she quit high school, although she says she is being home schooled. My son knows I don't like her. He also knows why. I have told him that I will be civil and that he may invite her here whenever he wants, as long as we are home and that she will be treated as his guest. I ask him occasionally if I am being standoffish or rude to her and he assures me I am not.

I lose sleep over the thought that he may one day marry her.

 

[Flock Master64]

I just wanted to interject an opposing view.  My oldest son, aged 19, has been dating his girlfriend for nearly a year.  I don't like her.  I know how that sounds, no one will ever be good enough, mom's jealous, etc., but she is not what I have hopes for in a daughter-in-law.  She is rude, childish, self centered, and not very pretty.  She comes to my house, invited by him, and won't speak unless spoken to (and then, one word answers.)  She eats my food, then complains about it, sits on my sofa, watching my TV, gets offended if my son doesn't wait on her hand and foot.  She gets upset and yells at my other children if they happen to encroach on "her space" at our house.  We like to joke around and play and sometimes towels or socks get thrown, not AT her, but about.  Hey, they are teenage boys.  When they decide to leave, usually because she says she wants to go, she gets up and walks out without saying bye, much less 'thank you.'  I think she has loose morals and was never taught manners, much less graciousness.  I do not think she is pretty, but my son does.  I do not think she is nice or sweet, but my son does.  I manage to be civil to her, but I feel I fall short of being warm.  That in itself is odd because I am the type to embrace my children's friends and the children of my friends.  I am hugged every time I am seen by most teenagers and love every minute of it.  Except for this girl.  I Just don't like her, I just don't trust her and I can't feel differently.  I am normally a great judge of character and even tend to give the benefit of the doubt when I'm not immediately impressed, but this girl is bad news and I know it.  When I try to soften toward her, rather than trying to meet me half way, I feel she attempts to take the upper hand and make me work for her approval.  IT TICKS ME OFF!  She is not in school and I suspect that she quit high school, although she says she is being home schooled.  My son knows I don't like her.  He also knows why.  I have told him that I will be civil and that he may invite her here whenever he wants, as long as we are home and that she will be treated as his guest.  I ask him occasionally if I am being standoffish or rude to her and he assures me I am not. 

I lose sleep over the thought that he may one day marry her.

your son is happy and that's what's most important. Right?

 

[Wisher1000]

Sure, that sounds logical, but when experience can see the train wreck coming, it is hard to consider the ride leading up to it as a pleasure.

 

[Flock Master64]

Sure, that sounds logical, but when experience can see the train wreck coming, it is hard to consider the ride leading up to it as a pleasure.

Yeah, I understand that.

 

[feelinglost]

Wisher 100,
I understand! It is the hardest thing in my opinion to sit back and let your kids make a decision that can affect them for the rest of their life. I am a lot like u in that I seem for the most part to get along with most of who my kids bring into their life. It's not easy to say the least and I have not liked any of my sons girlfriends up until now. At least so far lol. They haven't been dating long but she is sweet and loves to clean which is even better. I say try your best not to say much because I have found the more I complain about their girlfriend/boyfriend the worse it gets. I lose sleep over my daughter too she likes a boy that she dated for a week and he broke it off he doesn't know what he wants and he seems to be very much everywhere with the girls. The thing is she is in college so I don't see him often. But he seems like a no it all and my daughter knows I don't like him. So I have tried to get her to notice other boys and she says no this boy makes her happy. I am just waiting it out. Is this girl the same age as your son?

 

[connie1966]

Wow she sounds horrible this sucks but Just wait it out hopefully it won't last .. he needs to see it for himself he will eventually , just continue being civil to her for your sons sake that's all you can do

 

[Wisher1000]

Is this girl the same age as your son?

No, she is a bit younger, but much more "worldly" and "street wise."
I'm sure that is the majority of her appeal, if you know what I mean.....

Wow she sounds horrible this sucks but Just wait it out hopefully it won't last .. he needs to see it for himself he will eventually , just continue being civil to her for your sons sake that's all you can do

Yes, that is all I can do, for now. I know he will see her for what she is, or at least that she will show her true colors, eventually, but I hope it is not too late.

I would hate to be watching her raise my grandchild...............

 

[connie1966]

I really doubt it will last don't worry about it let it run its course be supportive so he doesn't see you as the bad guy be yourself he will see that's it's her the problem