House Divided by Religion

[Shared Acres]

PLEASE NOTE< I JUST READ THE FIRST POST< AFTER POSTING I SEE THIS MAY BE ALOT DEEPER.

My house hold is of different beliefs as well.

I think it's disrespectful not to celebrate Christmas or allow a tree but then to want you to celebrate his beliefs. I say if you want to celebrate one, you should celebrate them all equally and fairly.

My husband and I feel that children should be exposed to different religions and be allowed to choose at their own free will.

I'm kind of wondering if you should go some of these Saturday services. I don't know that much about his religion, but that sounds a bit extreme. I would see what is really going on and be open to it if it's all legit. HOWEVER, if you make an effort, he needs to do the same. Maybe alternate, one weekend you do his thing, the next he needs to stay home and help or spend time with you, etc.

 

[purr]

The question you have to ask yourself is do you want your children to see their father treating you a woman like you are not as important as he is because of your gender.Because they will perpetuate this behavior in their future.
I personally would show him where the door is and ask him to walk through it.
edited to say : scratch the ask I would be telling him to walk through it. I am a grown woman absolutely no person tells me what to do.

 

[ChikeeMomma]

Quote:
Glad to see that you have family to stay with! I don't think I can give you enough

. So here's more

 

[redhen]

I'm so proud of you! You did the RIGHT thing! You need to get those kids away from him..and fast. Do NOT let him take them anywhere! And like the others said... DONT underestimate his friends...they WILL help him out in any way that he needs.... keep your children close to you. I'm serious.
Go take any money out of your accounts.... you'll need it.
I dont know what else to tell you except STAY STRONG! And when you feel weak..remember what he said.. that he didnt know if he would sacrifice his child if asked....

 

[SunnyDawn]

When I read your first 2 posts from today I got tears in my eyes. I don't ven know you and I am so proud of you! As I read other's reactions I could tell they felt the same way. I wish more mothers put their children first before all else like you are doing. I just want to say BRAVO! That was a decision that had to be made but it is still a tough thing to have to do. The fact that he had to ask his friends what he should do speaks volumes about his character, none of it good I'm afraid. Good luck to you and your kids!!! Now you can start rebuilding their confidance and begin enjoying life again! I know it takes time but you've just shown how well equipped you are to succeed!!! Congratulations!

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

Everything is going smoothly so far. He's only been at the house once when I went over to pick up stuff. And then he was on his way out. So Ive just been going in and getting my stuff. I breed geckos, so I have 22 leopard geckos, eggs, and 2 crested geckos as well as a pet snake that I had to haul over here today. lol Im glad my grandma is cool with me having so many reptiles in her house. I also brought my cat over, she's due any day now. So I need to keep a close eye on her. I hope she doesnt get too stressed out from the move.

 

[chicken_china_mom]

I found your thread yesterday and read through all the comments, each and every one of them, and while I didn't comment last night, I am doing so today to say that I believe you are making the right choice in leaving. Your kids will be better off for it. I had many red flags go off as well as I read all of your posts. His behavior sounds very odd, and for someone to change so drastically, and so quickly, that just isn't normal. I'm curious to know though, what was his reaction when you left? Is he upset over it? Is he asking you to return home? How is he handling it? I would think that if he truly loved you and the kids, he would be calling and coming over to your grandmother's, begging you to come home. I am wondering if he didn't get a bad case of the 7 year itch, only it hit him a year later. Most infidelities that occur in a marriage tend to happen around the 7th year, and I really do suspect that his newfound "religion" is not the only new thing in his life. It just sounds too fishy. I honestly don't know all that much about Judaism, only what I've learned from others over the years in friendly discussions, but for him to try to force his religion on you, that is just wrong. I changed religions several years ago, decided Catholicism just wasn't fulfilling my spiritual needs, and while I have decided that being a Born Again Christian does, I don't force my beliefs on anyone. In fact, the way I look at it, I'm still evolving and changing spiritually, and I need to find my place before I could expect anyone else to consider what I believe. It just wouldn't be fair. I'm a single mother, but when my childrens' father and I were together, we were the same religion, though I attended church and he didn't. He's one of those people that attends church for baptisms, weddings, and funerals, and that's about it. I wouldn't say I am devout as I tend to nitpick everything and find a lot of stuff hard to swallow, but my belief in God is strong and I would never deny Him. However, if I should ever get into another relationship, and he had different beliefs, I wouldn't force my beliefs on him, and I wouldn't want his forced on me because it just isn't right, and it makes for bad blood in the relationship. I wish you all the luck in the world as you move forward and try to find your place. Keep us updated though, I'd love to know how he is reacting to the situation, it gives a lot of insight into his personality, and just how he feels about you. Big hugs to you and your kids.

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

When I told him I was leaving at first he didnt know what to say. He did get angry and as I was packing my stuff he got the phone and went outside in the back yard to call people. He talked to some friends, asked them for advice and what they thought about his behavior. He wanted to know if he was in any wrong I guess. Then asked them what he should do. He never really told me if he felt he was in a lot of wrong by his choices. When he came back in he asked me if I would like to talk. I asked him what was there to talk about? He gave me his answer. And his answer was that he wasnt sure if he would kill one of his children in the name of god if the senario ever arrised. So I was angry naturaly but I wasnt screaming at him or anything of that sort. I just made it blunt that I couldnt trust him any more.
He has broke a lot of promises to me and lied to me over the period of our relationship. He had lied to me earlier that day when he said he would be back from Ihop after breakfast with one of his buddies. But he didnt show up till past 8pm at night. Told me they where going to apply for a higher paying job but it turned out that was a lie, he never went to apply. And when he told me last year about this Messianic thing, he said he wouldnt let it change our life. He didnt keep that promise. And there's plenty other promises and things like that he hasnt kept. Either way I told him that there was only one thing that would make me stay and that was if he stoped talking to those people and going to the service he was attending at Angie's house. He wouldnt do that for me and our family so I left. He was sad I could tell he was. But obviously it didnt mean enough to him to do what was needed of him as a husband. I even offered to go to church with him in some other church. Heck we have a church right behind our property that we could easily walk to every day. Less then an acre away.
He wanted me to stay or atlease thats what he said he wanted. Im not sure any more. He hasnt called me, contacted me or anything. I went over to the house to get some stuff today and he was on his way out. He didnt argue with me or even really talk to me. He just kept getting ready to leave (getting dressed, doing his hair, brushing his teeth, etc) Im guessing he was getting ready to go to the service.

 

[PaulaJoAnne]

Quote:
This is so sad. He seems to not be in touch with real life. He has bought into a lie.
That, or there is someone else, and he knows that its only a matter of time before you find out for sure.
This group that he is apart of, truly has nothing to do with God, or who He is really is.
If they were, they would not be enabling him like this.

 

[chicken_china_mom]

Quote:
This is so sad. He seems to not be in touch with real life. He has bought into a lie.
That, or there is someone else, and he knows that its only a matter of time before you find out for sure.
This group that he is apart of, truly has nothing to do with God, or who He is really is.
If they were, they would not be enabling him like this.

I agree completely. He does seem to have lost touch with reality, and if those people truly were his friends, they wouldn't tell him to let his family leave. They would tell him to fight for what he loves. And how brainwashed is he that he can't react of his own accord when his wife says she is leaving him, but he has to call his friends and ask THEM what he should do? That just blows my mind. He is a fool, and he will realize it too little too late just how badlt he has messed up. I am sorry that your marriage is coming to such an end. I pray he wakes up sooner rather than later and realizes how bad these people are for him and just how much their influence has hurt him. It's just so sad.