I'm NEVer taking my kids anywhere ever again!

[JessHall]

My mom was at the Department of Building and Safety and she had set my then two year old brother on the counter next to her purse.
I guess she was really paying attention to the worker behind the counter because, after all the contractors and other men had noticed, she noticed my brother had pulled a tampon out of her purse and was pretending to smoke it like a cigar!

THEN, after her business at the counter was through, she sat them both down on a bench to tie my little sister's shoe (then three), and got into a conversation with some lady... Mom tied the right shoe, while Brianna untied the left, Mom tied the left while Bri untied the right, and they went on and on for quite some time before my mom caught on.
I think she had a bad day...
Your story is VERY funny.

Sounds like sweet girls. But I think for that other 1% of the time, you should have a video camera ready... may be worth it. lol

 

[Billy7871]

I have a thousand laughs for all the thousand times that I wanted to lock them in a closet until they were grown. Just thank God for each day. For each time like that write it down so you will be able to tell them about it later on. I do that and plan on giving the journal to my daughter when she has her children. And it never hurts to remember they will pick your nursing home

 

[arabookworm]

we were at a park once and there were no bathrooms, and my little brother (then 3) really needed to pee, so we told him to pee behind a bush. fast forward 3 months, we were at a different park, with bathrooms, and near where we were sitting there was a field where a bunch of teenagers were playing frisbee. my little brother wanders over to the middle of the field, drops his pants, and starts peeing, right in the middle of their frisbee game.

 

[M To The Maxx]

M mom told me a story of what I did when I was 2. We were at Orlando airport because we got back from Pennsylvania ( drove home to lutz) We had dinner at the airport hotel. We I went out to the balcony plants and dropped my pants and diaper and peed in the plants!!!!!! The people next to us said " Benn there done that" and my mom started laughing after she made me pick up my pants. THAT is a embarrasing story.

 

[Emzyyy]

LOL

Reminds me of what my mom told me too! My mom took me to a bluegrass concert. I think I was around 2 or 3? Anyway my brother and I did NOT want to sit still in those chairs. We would rather crawl underneath them.... So my mom takes her eyes off of me for a split second and I was off! I crawled underneath EVERY row of chairs underneath and crawled UP on stage! and got up and started walking around on stage! This lady who was singing was trying to ignore me ahaa. Anyway my mom had the guy from the radio station go get me off stage because she was that embarresed.

 

[miss_jayne]

totally great story Hen House. totally.

oh yes. i have an awesome one about my son that he loves to now tell everyone himself.

when he was about 4 we were at the clothing store, he went over to the molded bras and cupped them and yells out a word for the items that go inside, "B______ies!" oh yes. YELLED it. i was just standing there with my mouth gaped open because this child had apraxia and couldn't speak until he was four. what finally comes out????
B_____ ies. seriously??????? we don't even use this word in our house.

so i recover and we make our way over to the counter to pay for some unmentionables from the Meat Packing Dept. as it were and he then announces at top volume for the entire store to hear, "My mommy wears cheetah panties!"
okay, um, is it going to get any worse for me in the next moment? the entire store is just looking at me and the lady at the counter says, "Really? That is nice! Mommy wears nice panties! Does mommy need more panties?"
Well, you know i bought like ten pair right there to shut her up. That boy owes me a bazillion dollars i swear.

He totally tells complete strangers the story to this day. He's proud of it. The best is, we have no idea how he even learned these statements or the bra 'grope'.

we've let him live, but some days he's on thin ice i'll tell you! THIN ICE!!!!!! POT HEADS!


um, Maxxx, i totally believe this about you. totally. TOTALLY.

 

[Shelanie]

We were in Denny's eating breakfast and a hobo with long brown hair walked in to use the bathroom and my 3 year old started screaming "Jesus! Mom it's Jesus."

No amount of consoling him or telling him it's not Jesus worked. He just would not believe me. So we now joke about going to Denny's to talk to Jesus.

 

[GaNewChick]

Did you get the picture? (of her wet)

 

[Mrs. Turbo]

I have an embarrassing story......I use to be in the Army and ran into a girl that was in my old unit.....she is married with kids and so am I so we planned on getting together to catch up. The very first time my husband met my old army buddy and her husband was at a cookout at their house. My daughter was almost fully potty trained and I guess she really had to use the bathroom.....my husband was standing with a bunch of people talking when my daughter runs up to him and pulls her pants down and proceeds to take a crap in the yard. My husband was so embarrassed and didn't know what to do so he found 2 sticks and picked up the poo and tossed it over the fence in the neighbors yard...ROFL!!!
I love that story!

 

[Laurieks]

My husband's family has a huge reunion every August. His Uncle Shirl lost half a leg in the service, sometimes he'll unbuckle his prosthesis and ask a kid to pull on it to see what happens. They usually get a bit um, worried (ie. freaked out) when it comes off. When our son was 3 or 4, Shirl unbuckled his leg and told him to pull on it... when it came off he ran away with it and came right back for the other leg!

And another time... dad took kid to Toys R Us; dad has taught kid that Barbies are a bore... they walk into the Barbie aisle & he (the kid) yells "Not another Stinkin' Barbie!!!" The aisle full of moms & little girls ALL gave the dad serious stinkeye!