Opa's place -Where an old rooster visits with friends

[Opa]

Not only are we dealing with Granny, Hope's stepfather has Alzheimer's so I am getting lots of experience dealing with aging parents. What is scary about the whole issue of aged care is in not too many years I will be the aging parent.

 

[rrrmamma]

Guess I need some encouragement this morning. My mother's doctor came in and suggested that she would probably not get better and that we should consider hospice. I haven't brought the subject up with Mom yet, but since Dad died in a hospice facility I know she is going to be scared and resistant. I have left a message for my brother. I think I need his help on this one. We are discussing in home hospice for awhile. I think these people do marvelous work and I really think it might be the way to go along with home health care. They try here at rehab to get her up and moving, but she is too weak and tires easily. I haven't seen much improvement and she sleeps most of the day. She won't eat much and even though I have offered to cook for her and bring it in she says not to bother. Sorry I am just venting and rambling here. You have all been so helpful to me. Thanks for listening.

 

[Opa]

rrrmamman, sorry to ready that your mother isn't doing well. The folks who work hospice have got to be some of the most caring compassionate people that it has been my privilege to know. Not only to the make the situation better and easier for the patient, they make it easier for the families as well. While oft times a hospice facility is the only option, in my experience the home hospice is easier for the patient. Death is something none of us are ever ready to face, these wonderful people make the journey easier.

You should definitely get your brother's help, this is something you shouldn't face alone. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[un-named543]

Guess I need some encouragement this morning. My mother's doctor came in and suggested that she would probably not get better and that we should consider hospice. I haven't brought the subject up with Mom yet, but since Dad died in a hospice facility I know she is going to be scared and resistant. I have left a message for my brother. I think I need his help on this one. We are discussing in home hospice for awhile. I think these people do marvelous work and I really think it might be the way to go along with home health care. They try here at rehab to get her up and moving, but she is too weak and tires easily. I haven't seen much improvement and she sleeps most of the day. She won't eat much and even though I have offered to cook for her and bring it in she says not to bother. Sorry I am just venting and rambling here. You have all been so helpful to me. Thanks for listening.

Here is a stupid question; if you choose in home hospice, do you have to actually tell her how dire the situation is? Can't she just know the folks are around to help with daily cares and medication; gradually she will figure out she isn't getting better which may lead her to open up and talk about it....I guess which is better, being upfront and slamming an elderly person with fear but able to deal with it or doing the process gradually..... ?
I'm sorry for what you are going through. It is never an easy situation. (hugs)

 

[Chic-n-farmer]

Guess I need some encouragement this morning. My mother's doctor came in and suggested that she would probably not get better and that we should consider hospice. I haven't brought the subject up with Mom yet, but since Dad died in a hospice facility I know she is going to be scared and resistant. I have left a message for my brother. I think I need his help on this one. We are discussing in home hospice for awhile. I think these people do marvelous work and I really think it might be the way to go along with home health care. They try here at rehab to get her up and moving, but she is too weak and tires easily. I haven't seen much improvement and she sleeps most of the day. She won't eat much and even though I have offered to cook for her and bring it in she says not to bother. Sorry I am just venting and rambling here. You have all been so helpful to me. Thanks for listening.

I am so very sorry.

Your mom is blessed to have you.

 

[1muttsfan]

rrrmamma, it is so sad to have to deal with such a difficult time for your mother. How fortunate for her that you were able to go out to help her. When my own Grannie was beyond home living, I tried to visit as often as possible and do things that she could no longer do for herself. She especially loved having a pedicure and I was happy to do it for her. You will remember the things you do with for now after time has gone by and the sorrow is less.

Opa you are truly a kind person, as I watch my parents now becoming old I often think about when the day comes that we will have to make difficult decisions for them. Your words are so helpful.

 

[EweSheep]

I, too, have that fear of losing my father and mother, who they are in their late 60's and early 70's. Dad takes care of himself better, knowing he has limited time on earth. Mom told me the other day that she will not live long enough for my daughter to graduate from high school, maybe eighth grade. It is a very sobering thought that I don't want to know. My daughter is very close to her Grandpa and I will make every bit of the time valueable for her, having good memories if and when he passes on.

I hope they will never had to go that route of hospice care. More like a quick merciful death, both of them are diabetics and risk of heart failure, instead of cancer that my Mom's parents had to endure in hospice.

My experience (as well as my mother's) were positive. They are very caring people and would go out of their way to make one comfortable. More so than those assistant living centers, which some are good and some are bad. I think it is up to us to do "investigative" research on each and every facilities.

If I was to die, I would rather die quickly at home or event rather being a vegetable. Most of the time the Dr Kevorkian method seems so good when you know your life is not what it used to be.

 

[chickencrazymamahen]

My thoughts and prayers with everyone on here who is dealing with aging parents. Our everyday struggles as caregivers in all these different situations are emotionally as well as physically exhausting. For myself personally, I know that each morning when I see the shade go up at mom's place a large sigh is released that, yes, we have another day. And yet as the quality of those days dwindle more and more, sometimes I wonder why. A life lived of 93 years is an achievement in itself; but, know as her memory, sight and hearing are abandoning her and fearfulness is her new companion, I have to continue to wonder why. Most all of her life friends are done gone or are in mental decline to a point that they don't know anyone so her world is a much smaller place. She still has a sister and 2 brothers, but trips to see each other have ended for some and are dwindling with others. Some relatives and friends she doesn't remember at all; sometime's even my father who has been gone 22 years.

But, the memories and time we have now are so precious because I know not when it will end and that emptiness of her absence will engulf my life, that each day is special, very special. Reminding myself of that seems to be the hard part on the days I really want to be grumpy or doing something else.

Love and hugs to everyone! And thanks to all of you who have listened to my concerns and prayed for us and kept us in your thoughts.

Blessings,
Shirley

 

[NotAFarm]

Shirley

 

[rrrmamma]

They brougt Mom home today,a full day earlier than I expected. Got a call at 8:30 that she would be home at 2:30. They delivered the hospital bed and equipment at 10 and I spent the morning rearranging furniture to accomodate the equipment..I just fell into bed at 10 completely exhausted mentally and physically. It is worth it to see how happy she is being home. I can only hope I made the right decision for her. Thanks for all your support and prayers.
Deb