I understand completely how wrung out you feel. I've had a couple of FTT chicks. One was sick from the moment I fished her out of the shipping box. She had so many issues, her short life was nothing but pain and suffering. She would peep fast and loudly when trying to poop, and it tore up my emotions. I did everything I could to save her and at one week, I had to end her suffering, it was just too much for the both of us. But I'll always remember little "Sunny" and how hard she tried to survive. Their lives may be incredibley short, but they still leave us deeply affected.