Rules for The Coop that the books don't tell you. My experience as a newbie.

Great stuff! I'm pretty sure I have a few with the potential to be "that one".

I have to add...
When you go to buy boots to wear in the coop, opt for the solid colored ones. Black with bright multicolor polka dots is probably not the best choice, even though I'm sure you'd look so, so cute doing your chicken chores in them. Polka dots are food, which means those ladies will be under foot the entire time you're there where they poop. A lot. You'll fall. It won't be pretty. Just go with black. Trust me.
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Why is it that they choose to squirt those chocolate pudding caecal poops right in front of your feet? Or they go around all of the well formed poops, but step in the pudding ones? Why is it that one hen laying an egg requires an audience and choral group of at least 3? Why is it that when raising up a new crop of young 'uns, the first ones to play in the nest box are the cockrels?
 
I have to add if you're dumb enough to get polish chickens and don't take the time to tame them down, be prepared for them to scream and fly right at your head every time you want to check for eggs, they're like pterodactyls.
 
Love this thread, although funny- so, so true & you cannot find this stuff in books.

Here's some more:

1- Never give them treats on a paper plate - the plate will be considered part of the treat, they'll scratch, shred it and have food runs with the pieces, and a human trying to be the winner of the prize will be crawling where " no woman or man should ever go".

2- Never use paper towels to clean the roosts, ramp or coop - another food run with the humans.

3- Never use cotton balls, Q tips or kleenex to clean minor injuries - same results as above.

4- If yours are raised on sand, the sifter and waste bucket are the most interesting items of the day. And the places you want to sift are the choice bathing areas - it's no fun to be sandblasted up close.

5- Always collect eggs from the left side of a broody hen, they peck to the right.

6- If the flock is in confined area and get startled, you must squat, cover your face face and hope no flying poop will hit you.
 
Great stuff! I'm pretty sure I have a few with the potential to be "that one".

I have to add...
When you go to buy boots to wear in the coop, opt for the solid colored ones. Black with bright multicolor polka dots is probably not the best choice, even though I'm sure you'd look so, so cute doing your chicken chores in them. Polka dots are food, which means those ladies will be under foot the entire time you're there where they poop. A lot. You'll fall. It won't be pretty. Just go with black. Trust me.
1f616.png
Actually, chickens think that ANYTHING that is on the floor in their coop is food.
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Love this thread, although funny- so, so true & you cannot find this stuff in books.

Here's some more:

1- Never give them treats on a paper plate - the plate will be considered part of the treat, they'll scratch, shred it and have food runs with the pieces, and a human trying to be the winner of the prize will be crawling where " no woman or man should ever go".

2- Never use paper towels to clean the roosts, ramp or coop - another food run with the humans.

3- Never use cotton balls, Q tips or kleenex to clean minor injuries - same results as above.

4- If yours are raised on sand, the sifter and waste bucket are the most interesting items of the day. And the places you want to sift are the choice bathing areas - it's no fun to be sandblasted up close.

5- Always collect eggs from the left side of a broody hen, they peck to the right.

6- If the flock is in confined area and get startled, you must squat, cover your face face and hope no flying poop will hit you.

So true! Especially the cover your face and hope for the best. When I let my chickens out in the morning half of them all come out at about the same time, and that is probably 20 chickens! It is like a tide of chickens flying and running and jumping past you and you do not want to be in the way!
 
Love this thread, although funny- so, so true & you cannot find this stuff in books.

Here's some more:

1- Never give them treats on a paper plate - the plate will be considered part of the treat, they'll scratch, shred it and have food runs with the pieces, and a human trying to be the winner of the prize will be crawling where " no woman or man should ever go".

2- Never use paper towels to clean the roosts, ramp or coop - another food run with the humans.

3- Never use cotton balls, Q tips or kleenex to clean minor injuries - same results as above.

4- If yours are raised on sand, the sifter and waste bucket are the most interesting items of the day. And the places you want to sift are the choice bathing areas - it's no fun to be sandblasted up close.

5- Always collect eggs from the left side of a broody hen, they peck to the right.

6- If the flock is in confined area and get startled, you must squat, cover your face face and hope no flying poop will hit you.
That's interesting...I never knew that. See, this is a very educational thread!
 

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