I am so bummed... Quick update pg6 5/29 and pg 7 post 67

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Barnyard

Barnyard

Addicted to Quack
12 Years
Aug 5, 2007
3,571
17
221
Southwest Georgia
I think I am going to puke.....

Ok....almost a year ago my nephew got married (big mistake). He started dating this girl and the family was just furious. Not, me, but his parents and grandmother (my mom). I knew that it was just something that he needed to work through on his on. I tried my best not to be judgemental. Anway.....he moved in with this girl after a big fight and couldn't take his boxer, Bruiser, with him. So,. me being the big softie that I am, told him that I would keep him until they could find a place where they could have Bruiser. Well him and the "wife" started having some issues, and needless to say after 6 months they got a divorce. During this time I still have Bruiser. He moves back home to mom and dad, and still can not take Bruiser home.

My kids and I have grown very attached to Bruiser. After him being here for a year he has became part if my family. I am just a basket case right now. My nephew has a new girlfriend and he is moving in with her......this one the family loves to pieces
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Anyway...... He wants Bruiser back
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My stomach is in knots. I can not stand the thought of him coming to pick Brusier up. I just want to take him and run away. I know he is afterall his dog, but I am not dealing with this very well right now. My yorkie is in the hospital because he started having seizers yesterday and they can't get them to stop. Now my nephew wants Brusier.....UGH!! I just want to crawl under a rock and cry, cry, cry. I need help getting through this..... I don't know what to do
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Sorry to bend your ear's..... I just needed to rant.
 
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I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I can think of a couple of things you could try if you wanted to.

Approach 1 - From the Heart: Simply tell him you've fallen in love with Bruiser and really want to keep him. Be honest about what you're going through with the potential loss of your Yorkie (so sorry!!) and let him know if he could please let you keep Bruiser it would really help you cope.

Approach 2 - Practical for Everyone: Since he is starting a "new" life with a new girlfriend, maybe they would like to choose another dog together - make it "their" dog instead of taking Bruiser away from the place he sees as home. Offer to help your nephew find a rescue dog or puppy, and you could even pay for part of the adoption fee as a "housewarming" gift to the couple. This way two dogs get a good home. (And if this relationship doesn't work out, Bruiser won't be caught in the middle)

Approach 3 - Hard nosed: Tell him you'll give Bruiser back once he has paid you for the food, medical care, etc. you're out taking care of his dog for the past year. Let him know if he cannot or will not repay you, you'll keep Bruiser payment in full and continue to give him a loving home.

I know you're in a tough spot, and I wish you the best whatever you decide.
 
I feel your pain. We have had two of our sons dogs for years and every time one of them mentions it is his dog my husband looks at them and says you can have him back if you repay me the vet bills. He knows they aren't going to do it and there is no way we would give up either dog. After you have them awhile you become attached and they are another family member.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.
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Susan
 
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I would urge against this one - it would be flat out legally wrong. If you had no contract for such at the onset of this arrangement you cannot try to enforce one now after the fact.

I think you should consider being honest and tell him that you and your kids have grown very attached to him and visa-versa. And the separating him now would be quite stressful for all concerned and could he find it in his heart to gift the dog to you and your kids. And in return, you'd help pay for a new puppy for him.
 
ugh - the worst.

we were in that situation... my sister and her family took on 'too much dog' for them. poor dog was left to lay on the dining room floor - they did NOT take care of him. when we got him he couldnt even really run - and could not keep up with his littermate - our dog. fast forward A YEAR after i had trained him, got him back into shape, turned him into what could pass (on some days) as a working dog. they showed up with their middle child screaming that she wanted HER dog back.

are you kidding me?

the look on my face said it all and fortunately my sister could tell they were out of line (and i could tell even she had planned on driving him right on home that day). we kept him but i know there is still some resentment.

and now i have two of her cats.

nice.

family is hard. what is legal may not be the right thing. you should be honest with the nephew. but dont make them mistake i did and said 'yes' a second time.
 
Thanks everybody.....

My nephew and I are really close and we have a awesome relationship. I don't want any hard feelings. He loves this dog just as much as we do. He know's how we all feel about Bruiser, but in the same since....I did agree to give him back when the time came. Not knowing that it would be a year though. I haven't had to take Bruiser to the vet.... he was up to date on his shots when I got him. If anything my nephew may owe me for the dog food that I have been buying. He started out really good and was buying it for Bruiser, but after awhile he stopped. I know what the right things is.....but my heart sure don't want to hear it. I worry about my kids. They love this dog. He sleeps with them at night. This is really going to be hard for all of us. Oh and his girlfriend and her kids are crazy about Bruiser.
 
The right thing is just to keep the dog. I think from a legal standpoint he is yours anyway. After all, the dog was essentially abandoned on your doorstep. Tell nephew to suck it up, be a man, take responsibility for his actions for once, and be grateful that the dog has a good home with people who love him. If it weren't for you, the dog would heve ended up at the pound and in all probability would have been killed. As it is, he can visit Bruiser whenever he wants. There is a country & western song sung by George Jones that says something about living and dying by the choices we make. Maybe you should get it for your nephew.
 
Quote:
I would urge against this one - it would be flat out legally wrong. If you had no contract for such at the onset of this arrangement you cannot try to enforce one now after the fact.

I think you should consider being honest and tell him that you and your kids have grown very attached to him and visa-versa. And the separating him now would be quite stressful for all concerned and could he find it in his heart to gift the dog to you and your kids. And in return, you'd help pay for a new puppy for him.

well, if nothing else works diplomatically - I'd say the legal issue is for him to figure out on his own!
 
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I have talked to my nephew since I posted and he wants to come and get Bruiser today. He is so excited, how do I take that away from him. I told him it was going to be hard for me to let Bruiser go. He said, "you knew I was going to get him".....well no crap, but not a year later..... I have no worries about Bruiser. I know he will adjust. He is a awesome dog....he loves everybody. It is just going to be hard for me to adjust to him being gone. Where is that rock??? I'll take it now......
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