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She's not having issues with the kids, at this point it sounds like she is being criticized by her father in law, which couldn't feel good, because as a step parent you are always second guessing yourself in the first place. But you can't please everyone.
Concerning the FIL: It's...
Girl, I swear you are living my life. Seriously.
It's like yeah, I'm stressing myself out making the kids mind FOR MY HEALTH!!!
Reality is you care about them and you want them to be their best.