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LOL

This is 100% not me. I drive a tractor trailer for a huge paint company so I get to wear shorts and t-shirts until the average temperature is in the 40's. I wear the same thing at home and outside. I wear clean shorts and t-shirts without holes for church, though.

I had a friend back in high school who had a mural of a Viking warrior with a maiden clinging to his feet painted on the side of his van. I think it was off a Molly Hatchet album cover. It looked a lot like this. If I ever get a van...

My conscience says people need to understand that pigs are filthy animals and bacon is packed with salt, fats and nitrates/nitrites. I don't mind any of that but it might be important to some people. Just enough to bring the price down a bit.

Hush. More for me if people believe the lie.

Those thousands of glittering eyes are the reason why you don't have brown recluses or black widows.

Did I post this one yet?

Yes, they're a native species. You should see them when they're mass migrating during mating season. It looks like thousands of leaves blowing across the road.

Crawling up my arm, exactly how you'd think it would. It was velvety smooth to pet, though. Very chill and relaxed bug, too.

The best part was that I looked in its terrarium one day and it was GONE. I told my son to keep his mouth shut and pretend it was still in there. When it didn't show back up after six months, we dismantled the terrarium and told my wife that we released it.

I caught this guy out in the wilderness north of Amarillo. I gave him to my son as a pet.

Torque. And idiocy.

Dental care is so important for your overall well-being.